Can I please ask for your experiences of BPD

[Coffeeplease88]

Hi everyone.
Just that really...I’m 29 and have just been diagnosed. I have suffered from lengthy periods of depression and emptiness for about 8 years (since the pregnancy of my first son, i have two children, 7 and 3). This current episode is the worst I have suffered, even though I was previously hospitalised. I feel as though I have no personality left, all that’s there is emptiness, loneliness, with small moments of okayness, when I can be alone or have the space to do something I like. I just want to know it gets better...I’d like to be fun to be around again.

He's very hard to talk to. Very dismissive of the situation. I almost have to wait for something to happen then he comes to me. I've found out more stuff from one of his friends but I can't tell him that I know these things as his friends are standing by him and are there for him . It's hard for me to bring things up that have happened because he clams up. I will in time tell them both that they need to have a plan for when she has a melt down. I think he should leave the situation until she calms down but he tries to diffuse the situation by holding her and then he gets hit. He sometimes leaves but she keeps on at him to go back and he returns to a tirade of verbal abuse

scared it sounds difficult but it might be better to start a new thread as this has been supportive to people experiencing BPD, and perhaps not the best place to offload about someone with BPD as it may bring up stuff for other posters. I hope it gets sorted though.

@Scaredformyson

A quote from the book I hate you don't leave me goes along the line of " borderline rage can not be reasoned with the more angrier the individual becomes the more quieter and calm the individual should become".

The disorder itself is NOT an excuse to be abusive. There is a large difference between someone who is in treatment and someone who is not.

@Scaredformyson

A quote from the book I hate you don't leave me goes along the line of " borderline rage can not be reasoned with the more angrier the individual becomes the more quieter and calm the individual should become".

The disorder itself is NOT an excuse to be abusive. There is a large difference between someone who is in treatment and someone who is not.

I am still unclear of my full diagnosis. BPD has been suggested, but i feel strongly that i fit more with bipolar 2. Either way, i am being treated with lamotrigine, sertraline and buspirone.

I am hoping it helps. Has anyone any experience of those combined?
At the minute i feel like im balancing, im only just functioning. I have improved slightly in some aspects and dipped in others. Its frustrating as i just want myself back.
Im finding looking after myself near on impossible as having to use all of my energy for the kids

Scared....I think as it has been suggested another thread might be more suitable...you don’t need to have BPD to be violent, nor are all BPD people violent...i internalise everything and take things out on myself rather than others. I very very rarely have thoughts about pushing people over when I’m angry or want to bump into them just silliness , but I would never act upon it

Nct if you’re not happy about diagnosis or talk of diagnosis, be open with them and speak up, mental health care is far from the best, and a lot of people have to fight to get the care they need, or, as with with of the posters on this thread, there aren’t even certain treatment options becuse of where you live.

How is everybody?

Still struggling with the constant mood swings, IL be doing something such as having tea at my mums the other night and I wanted to burst into tears for no reason. The mood swings / changes are so draining. I feel so overwhelmed by such simple tasks as hoovering!!
How are you coffee?

I don't really get mood swings anymore but I get overwhelmed by hoovering! Your brain is supposed to use 25% of your energy - it's exhausting coping with BPD.

Yes how are you coffee

I passed my first exam and now have a second coming up in less than 8 days and I still just feel so exhausted. I haven't found my groove and feel like I'm just wasting time and not taking things seriously.

I'm contemplating just taking a break from my therapist when things are going okay between us. I feel like I just want to be alone.

I may sound odd but I'm very sensitive to bright lights. I only use a lamp in my room and not the two main overhead bar lights. At the moment I'm really into candles and burn a standard ikea one when I'm studying as I find it helps calm me down. But I really want a Chrismassy Yankee candle. At the moment they're still on sale and I was thinking I would be silly to spend £16 or £13 on a candle but therapy is stupidly expensive at nearly £80 a week which I did for the first 10 months, and one session for the past 3 months because of my schedule. I'm just tired of trying to fix me.

I've just had my diagnosis changed from 'traits of' BPD to schizo affective disorder, it's also a mood disorder but with psychosis & fits my symptoms a lot better, as I am on anti depressants & anti psychotics & repond well to them.