to give up now

[BabsCabsIsLocal]

I can't bear the pain

Happy Christmas @BabsCabsIsLocal - thinking of you

Believing I have stuff to offer doesn't matter though. It's the world's view of me that's the problem. I can't fix that alone! I don't think I can do another year.

Things like that can and do change though. The weirdy geek outsider who no one liked at school becomes the brilliant engineer who everyone loves. It's a case of plough on, one step at a time, and keep talking to people, online and in real life. Hugs

It's so incredibly unlikely to change now. As you get older less people are up for making new friends especially if you're single without kids. As for men, it'd take someone very special to love me or for me to trust, and there just aren't plentiful awesome thoughtful single men out there! And I just don't think I have the strength for another year. I can't stop weeping. I literally cannot manage in this much pain.

Babs you aren't alone with feelings of loneliness and pain. Don't do anything now or make any decisions, just try to get through today and keep talking.

It just reached a point where there are no more options. I'm doing all the right things, but I literally can't actually live a normal life and am too broken now. It's all very sad but there it is. I'm so sorry. X

It's ok I have things I need to sort first. There's something I need to do first.

Please keep talking Babs. I'm here.

Please keep talking Babs. We are all here.

I'm not going to do anything right now, but won't see the year out I don't think. I'm so sorry to be all sad today. I wish they'd helped me when I was younger so I'd have had a chance.

This isn't a good day for decisions or planning. It's a day to get through. Infact it could be better to get past this and into 2018, past this whole period of year. Christmas and NY are a tough time as on the face of it everyone is super happy. They really aren' and these are just days, you can carry on.

What do you feel like you wish they'd done? Can anything be done now, do you think?

Babs.
You can do it. It might be hard, but you can.
Don't ever give up.
Your life might not feel manageable right now, but it won't always be so.
Lots and lots of people want new friends! I do,
Keep on keeping on. And try and find a way to be who you are.
Lots of people live in horrible fake lives, and they're deeply unhappy.
Find one tiny sliver of hope and hang onto it, be it liking a milky tea (who would!?) or liking a radio programme.
All of those small things can help you.

We are all here, life is a mother fucking cunt sometimes, but don't give up on it, because you will have future happy times. This much I know. And I'm always right

This isn't about today. This is my life for years! Hence being well placed to know it's not going to improve. Perhaps if someone had helped rather than idiots taking advantage or treating me as subhuman when I was young, I'd be ok now, but that was not my path.

I know there's future happy times but they're not worth the pain. I can't even hold down a job so my future is very bleak. Even if I could, I am so broken I need to be loved so much, so patiently, but that won't (likely) happen. Unfortunately I don't think anything else can fix things at this stage (I'm doing all the additional things eg. purpose in life, things to look forward to etc)

You can love you, can be patient with you, can care and want fun alone. It doesn't have to be controlled by others.

In a way I'm more alone than I have ever been but I am less lonely than I have often felt.

Stuff anyone who has ever made you feel horrible!

You have to love yourself.
Some people are lucky and get the love they need as a child and others don't.
I know it's not about today, but you cannot rely on someone else to fill all the holes you need filling. It doesn't work.
So you need to start being your own number one supporter. I know it sounds bollocks.
I know all we sometimes want is a massive cuddle and for someone else to love us enough to make up for all love we needed.
But it just can't work like that, even if you found the person, it would only be a sticking plaster on a gaping wound.
If you were your friend, would you feel empathy and care towards you?
You need to do that for yourself now.

Hi OP

We are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We wanted to share Mind's information with you – it has practical tips on what you can do when you feel like this and where to get urgent help. Maybe take a look and see if there’s anything which might be helpful right now.

Please do think about exploring some of the options in the link above. Samaritans are there for you too, 24/7, by emailing [email protected] or calling 116 123. You can also see the resources in our Mental Health webguide.

We'll be moving this thread to our Mental Health Topic soon.

Very best wishes from all at MNHQ.

do you no how very not alone you are.in both company and the thoughts that plague you.that isn't jumping on ur grief.its telling you straight down the line that the inner turmoil you have is shared by so many also fighting a hard fight.so u don't need guilt or shame or feeling mad,bad, or explcuded from all others.becasue ur feelings are shared in some ways with a fair few others also so very unhappy.
what would you say to them or a loved one right now.
I don't think you can carry on.but whos to say this fight isn't worth it.
my op you have come this far!you have fought and struggled and been in so much aongy yet here you are.wow. so what the hell must it be for.its for the fight.its for the belief I hold that you still being here today is because there is something on the other side.
the stuff you've been through could have floored you long ago.but there has been a strong and brave action going on inside of you.something a glimmer in you that knows you are worth more than death.you are worth more alive.
this is your life.noone can make you feel worthy or give labels or strength to the type of human you are.shed there scales,shed there lacking in care.this is your future.they don't need to play a part in shaping it.becasue you have won.again and again each you have survived you've won.
don't give up.
this misery.it ebs and flows.from this morning firs tpost do you feel the same?yes there is still the agony of it but its ever so lsightly formed and shaped differently.so in that way things are always changing.and I will always hold the belief that one day.they will change for a better place for you.
the end is not peace,its permanent. I want your what if.i want ur dreams to come true.
hold on tight.so tight.
we are all here for you.
we don't no you yet look at all these posts. we see it I you,we see someone who needs to live on!
it might not be like this forever.
I no that is such piffal to hold onto when it hruts your every cell to keep on breathing. you you can.you must.your life I tell you is precious.
I see in the way you word,the way you post you have a soft articulate way about you.you have a strength and solidness behind your words of despair.who knows if they can turn round to beat these horrid thoughts down.
you can.

Sorry but I'm sick of the bollox about not being loved until you love yourself. I don't think I'm that bad and I do try to love myself but actually it's a basic human need to be loved. Plus I know a couple of people who have been in a terrible state and being loved has been massively healing for them. I'm not actually actively looking for a relationship as it's so unlikely I'd find the right man that way right now, and I kind of like being single in many ways. But I know I need love, i know that's the only thing that can heal now. And our society confines that love to romantic relationships, unfortunately.

Please move my post back MN. I hate being sectioned off and labelled "mental health" as if my problems are somehow innate and pathological rather than human being issues.

I AM HUMAN
Plus it's tumbleweed here. And everyone will suggest meds and assume the NHS will help me.
You cut off support by moving me here, please move it back

Is anyone there?

Babs, before you felt this way what kind of things have you pleasure? What did you use to enjoy?

Hello Babs; I'm sorry you're still feeling so very low. I can't add anything to kateandme's very insightful post, but please do hold on - you can never know what might be round the corner; it's worth holding on to find out.