Anxiety support, Hand hold or chit chat come say hi

[Fairydust26]

going through abit of a crappy time with anxiety/health anxiety at the mo so thought it would be a good idea to create this thread. I always find that when I’m feeling anxious writing it down makes me feel a little bit better so hopefully some of you might too and we can support each other through this crappy time as I know it can make you feel pretty lonely. I’m trying to not drag myself back to bed and write today off so I’ve made a cuppa put the heating on sat by the xmas tree and going to try and have a clam Saturday so come say hi

calm sorry you are having such a rough time. What a awful experience the weekend must have been, not surprised you are feeling low now. Can you process why it was so awful...talk yourself through how the least anxious person would have felt upset by seeing their kids in those circs, and it is a justifiable way to feel.

I feel a bit better. I've cancelled some things and taken courage to email about a few things, and taken the hoover to the top of the house. And made a pile of socks to match socks never match in this house so it really gives me pleasure to find two vaguely green ones or yellow ones I can put together

Calm Coming off your meds it massive. Well done
Seeing your children must have been very stressful, please don't berate yourself for having an anxiety attack, but agree with Nettle try & process why it was so awful.

And stopping smoking, I absolutely get that. It sent my anxiety sky high. I vape now - which I know some people hate, but it's still a crutch to me.

Nettle sounds to me that you have achieved three things today

I'm thinking about going to my exercise class later, which I want to do. But I also want to hide under a blanket too.

Northumberland well done for moving on to a vape. I did vape for about five months before but then my e cig broke and I went back to smoking. I recently bought a new e cig for about seventy quid but for some reason I was unable to inhale it... I think it was a bit strong for me. So for just now it's nicotine lozenges and gum.

I've been off meds for a few months now. I've only been having anxiety attacks two or three times a week so I suppose I'm doing alright without meds.

I have lived on my own for about two and a half months. My two kids live with their father, he split up with me and basically kicked me out. I do cry from time to time about the fact that I no longer live with my kids. I do miss them. And my ex has moved on already, he's already got a new girlfriend, a single mum who's in the same situation as him. I'm happy for him but not really sure how I feel about it....

You’ve been through so much Calm.
You seem so resiliant & you should be proud of yourself. Living on your own, seeing your children, coming off meds.

I’m having a bit of a moment. Found this to read over & over.... apologies if others don’t like these types of things. I find words soothing (although I still have a pain in my chest about the surveyor coming tomorrow)

I'm just diving in with you all. Two weeks ago I admitted to myself and my GP that I have anxiety. It comes in waves. I'll feel completely normal and suddenly I feel sick and have palpitations. I'm on a waiting list for CBT, but it's a long wait here. My anxiety is linked to a long standing health issue, but is now triggered by anything

Curbside - going to GP & facing your anxiety is a huge step. I found CBT helpful, as I did medication. I think the medication calmed me enough to embrace CBT. I’ve just hunted out my notes tonight - to go over some stuff.
for you!

Today I have a day of enforced fun. It is the team "away day" where we sit in another part of the building and pray for 5pm while being jollied along by bosses in Christmas hats talking about ........ Work. Is it any wonder we all have mental health problems? How the hell do you lot actually cope with this meaningless crap? Surely a more sensible "away day" would be ..... Errrrr ....... Away? We could spend the day helping at the Refuge or the Food Bank or something useful and life enriching. It gets me so depressed.

oh Banana
Why not suggest a CSR type of activity for next year? Food Bank, Women's Refuge..
Then see if they find can find another opportunity to talk about work. Doesn't seem in the spirit of Christmas to me!

Thank you Northumberlandlass
My GP and DP are the only people who know. I work remotely most of the time, so I've been able to hide it from my employer so far.

Undercoverbanana that sounds grim

better day today. Saw people last night, had some laughter, went on the bus etc etc.

Most of the packing seems to be done. I feel a bit calmer knowing there is nothing immediate I need to worry about it. Then I dropped a large picture and the glass shattered everywhere! eek. I thought to myself, well if I had been having guests round, or needed to get somewhere, this would have been a disaster; however, as today is pretty open ended, it is NOT a DISASTER. ditto ds2 discovering I had "borrowed" some money from his stash to pay last week's Math's tutor. could have ended in arguing and self justification, but I've stayed calm in face of my own incompetence!!

Beautiful day outside. Off out shortly to meet some more people after buying the Barbies with ds2.

undercover hope you get through it.

Fellow anxiety sufferer here.
Been off meds for a year due to trying to conceive, (currently 35 weeks with DS).

Feeling very stressed with;

pending labour and looking after a newborn

spending Xmas day with in laws

lack of £ when maternity pay kicks in

christmas in general and the amount of people I will have to see

DH suggesting an "open house" on Xmas eve, without thinking of food/drink/having to sort the entire house

okay cheshire thank dh for kind suggestion of open house but tell him NO. Unless he can confine them to one room and organise everything himself, that is EVERYTHING.

tell inlaws you are not sure if you will be feeling well enough, and you need a quiet day on christmas day in your own house, if that is what you want.

Newborn, well, it will be lovely, even if postnatal and labour are hell, you have this beautiful little ds to look forward to over the next year. I was sitting in Christmas carol concert recently and tears came into my eyes when listening to the words of one carol about baby J... Even if it doesn't quite fit the experience of modern childbirth How silently how silently the wondrous gift is given.

Thank you @Nettleskeins

I know exactly what you mean, Silent Night suddenly has a profound effect on me! X

Please may I join? I’ve been signed off from work for just over a week. Had a massive meltdown that’s been coming for a while. My dh and Dad have both been unwell, as have I. Work is getting more and more stressful by the day and I just lost it.

The first couple of days I felt elated but I’ve come crashing down. I’ve had 6 panic attacks in 4 days with no obvious trigger. I returned to the gp yesterday who has given me sertraline and propanalol so I’ve started them. I’m on a waiting list for cbt. Since Friday when the panic attacks started I’ve been getting a pain in my chest and now I’ve convinced myself I’ve got something awful. The logical side of me says it’s anxiety but right now I’m stuck in a vicious circle. I’m sat contemplating calling the gp again but I know the one I’ve been seeing isn’t on and I don’t feel like I trust the ones who are. I’m scared and hopeless. I don’t know what to do. Luckily I’ve got a very supportive dh and Mum but dh is at work and my mum has taken my dd out so she doesn’t have to see me like this.

Bless you You

Remember the symptoms are physical all the time and that's what drives the vicious circle.

I've messed up in work (not badly, but I could have done without it) and I thought I was going to have a cry in the toilets, but I managed not to. I catastrophise about everything!

hugs x

Everyone on here sounds so strong.

I am very highly functioning considering how crippled I am with anxiety sometimes, and yet I catastophise everything. I will always be crap, say the wrong thing, be thought irrelevant or a nuisance, be out of place, be unworthy and less than others.

We had this "away day" at work today and I had all the very worst anxieties about it. Bits of it had me struggling to control my breathing, sweating, seeing fuzzy lines and hearing noises, but by mid afternoon I started to feel able to engage a bit. My bosses, bosses, boss came over as we were packing up and told me she was so pleased with my contribution and that she felt "I had some really positive and interesting ideas that she would like to take forward". I told her I found these type of things incredibly difficult and she said that she knew and said that whenever I felt able to make suggestions or discuss anything that I could email her directly if it was easier for me to engage that way.

So it wasn't actually all that bad in the end.

I hope you all manage to find something positive from your day, however challenging it may have been.

Hope everyone’s been doing well? Dare I say it but these past few days have been good maybe because I’ve been busy so haven’t had time to sit and dwell on things🤔 hope I haven’t jinxed myself though and it stays!.

Undercoverbanana that’s such a kind and positive thing your boss said bet that gave you some relief?

anxiety about holiday on thurs still there...

bought the toys for nephews and neices to take on holiday. Ds2 was incredibly helpful and stopped me spiralling with indecision!
Ds1 has also been really nice this afternoon and sorted a school related issue for me.

everything is fine really, I just need to get my head down and work through the things on the list rather than dreading them and putting them off.
have decided to send no Xmas cards. This is such a departure from normal that it is slightly freaking me out. Usually I am frantically posting them through people's letter boxes.

I have been mindful today though. Spent a long time admiring the christmas cards other people had sent, arranged them nicely amongst the glasses and cups on shelf. Ate a cantucci biscuit in a nice cup with dh. Admired the wintry light on the red branches outside. Gave some biscuits to the Maths tutor. Reformulated some convos I had had yesterday to give them a more positive light

best wishes to everyone, tomorrow I just need to be busy.

Nettle - Christmas cards are something I abandoned years ago. They are time consuming, expensive (postage is horrendous!), end up in the recycling bin on Boxing Day and have a god-awful carbon footprint before they get to the shops. The gather dust, they smell, they get in the bloody way and are usually hypocritical (I have never met your husband, so he doesn't wish me a merry Christmas, does he?). They used to make me so anxious. Then I realised that they are just a burden to everyone.

You I also feel physical symptoms of my anxiety, which then make me feel more anxious. It's a terrible spiral to go round.

I feel terrible guilt about how my DP is affected by my anxiety. He just wants me to be happy. I just want me to be happy too!

cat is sitting on top of all ds1's uni prospectuses, batting a flower to and fro which is hanging out of the vase I am sitting here in my nightie procrastinating. Dh has sorted out the complex (public transport) journey to airport tomorrow, and I can actually think about it without wanting to vomit

I actually love Christmas cards, it is more letting go of all the things I love and prioritizing the things I really love more....(like feeling calm and unfrazzled) I am also thinking of a sort of trade off situation..I have done x, which I usually don't manage (buy nice present for godson and deliver it before Jan) and will trade off the xmas card distribution which I normally DO manage.

Throw into the mix a very random ds2 who has asperger's and is now wanting to wrap presents!!! aargh, not necessary. we will do that abroad. And he wants to cut his toenails for the umpteenth time, there are no nail clippers, then he remembers and forgets about it again

BANANA - well done

I am very highly functioning considering how crippled I am with anxiety sometimes, and yet I catastophise everything. I will always be crap, say the wrong thing, be thought irrelevant or a nuisance, be out of place, be unworthy and less than others.

This is ME too. And I have just won three awards from the team I'm in one is for the desk death trap award for messiest desk/work area but never mind

and I STILL don't believe I'm good enough.

Can I add?
Have anxiety. Am also an emetophobe and DD been sick this evening. First time in years (she's 4). DH has to work tomorrow as he had to take today off (water leak, not our day!). Really worried about how I will cope and if I'll get it.

AND I've just had really +++++ve feedback about a very big presentation and DH is like - WFT are you focusing on your brain fart half way through?

Also it isn't widely known for obvious reasons that I'm on medication but sometimes I get a bit addled...... and I catastropsing about one of those.

And I've already had an email from a director telling the team how ++++ the session was.... I've poured a wine. It will hopefully be one and I will nail things tomorrow

My very wise friend always says #tomorrowisanotherday and I'll also try to link to Oliver what's his chops in the Guardian who has written something about anxiety which is essentially a 'will it matter in two days?' which might help some people

Rachie - not my thread but people have been lovely and I welcome you with a big hug... you are not alone xx