Anxiety support, Hand hold or chit chat come say hi

[Fairydust26]

going through abit of a crappy time with anxiety/health anxiety at the mo so thought it would be a good idea to create this thread. I always find that when I’m feeling anxious writing it down makes me feel a little bit better so hopefully some of you might too and we can support each other through this crappy time as I know it can make you feel pretty lonely. I’m trying to not drag myself back to bed and write today off so I’ve made a cuppa put the heating on sat by the xmas tree and going to try and have a clam Saturday so come say hi

I've had a good day, not very exciting/joyful, but just fine really..went for a really long walk with my sister, and walked home afterwards - lot of "timewasting" in light of all the things that need doing, the things that make me anxious...but the anxiety seems to fade away once I exercise a lot

Lots of trigger "identifying" and "challenging" . One of the ridiculous things I get anxious about is supper, to extent that I cannot have people round, because cooking for family seems so uphill a struggle. So today, I cooked extra, badly but plenty ifysim, and invited ds2's friends who were playing monopoly if they wanted to join us (something that usually makes alarm bells start ringing - guests help I cannot do this help [blush)

Anyway, there was plenty, friends didn't want to come after all, but I see how silly my fears were..it is just pasta and veg and a bit of fish, no need for me to get so worried about state of art serving dishes, calm candle lit Friday dinners!

I think dh really contributes to my stress in this (in my imagination - not sure whether it is as bad as I think), as he likes supper to be "nice" and table properly laid. So I challenged him on that as well, really by impromptu guest inviting...(he cooks supper half the week btw)

Also challenged my trigger on housework/disorganisation by doing some housework rather than none and not minding too much, but focusing on getting groceries in the fridge at all costs.

Also today I helped someone by talking them through something creative, at their request, which always is a good anxiety reducer.

Fitzsimmons and Gttia glad the ADs are working they can be so helpful

Thank you mumof2sarah that very kind of you😊, this thread has really helped me just knowing that’s there’s someone here that knows what your going through is such a comfort makes you feel less alone. X

Fitzsimmons i find writing on here helps too! I’m currently on sertaline I think it helps as the lows are becoming far a few between but when your anxiety’s bad makes you feel so defeated and drained. I even had a little cry earlier as I just hate feeling like this.

gttia glad the ADs are working.

Nettle I remember the trigger identification and challenging from my CBT, I think I need to get back into doing some of that.

Fairy I know what you mean about draining. I've been so tired this past week, not helped by my lack of food.

Not a good day for me today... I took a promethezine tablet last night to help me sleep, but when I woke up it made me feel really spaced out. I went back to bed but had lots of different, anxiety dreams. When I finally got up I just felt really low- as I have for the past few days. I'm petrified of never getting better, I just get lost in the same old hopeless thoughts-which makes me panic!
I had a string of good days last week and the start of this, it's so disappointing.

Sorry you have had a bad day inthewoods. Was just coming here to post the same. I have a Mum's night out later and I'm dreading it. I'm scared of having to eat something and then getting reflux. I started the day ok, but as it's gone on I've got more anxious.

I can't get out of the evening. DH is looking after my single friend's kids along with ours. I need to find some coping strategy to get me through the meal. Anyone have any ideas?

On a positive note I have referred myself online for CBT.

I'm petrified of never getting better, I just get lost in the same old hopeless thoughts which makes me panic! - that’s exactly how I’m feeling at the moment inthewoods4 the bad days always seem so much worse after a few good days☹️.

Fitzsimmons could you maybe just have something small like an appetiser instead of a big meal?. Also you could take some anti acid tablets or something similar with you if you start to feel abit of reflux that might help. I know it’s hard but try not to think about it try and enjoy tonight if it gets to much make an excuse and leave. Hope you have fun!.

Ugh. Been having one of my WHY IS LIFE SO HARD rants. Sometimes I just feel like nothing in life is easy - getting a job, getting and then being in a relationship, having kids... I know life isn’t supposed to really be easy, but it’d be nice if just one thing was. Sometimes if you’ve got serious MH issues even something simple like getting out of bed can be hard! Thankfully I’ve never been like that. Funny how little kids often cannot wait to grow up... psst, kids, it’s all a big con!

Seems like everyone’s having a rough day today myself included, really hope things are better for everyone tomorrow if not remember just one day at a time that’s all it takes.

I know this is a tricky question to answer, but as I've had some good days is this a sign that I'm slowly recovering?

inthewoods4 I think that with recovery your expected to have the good days followed by the bad days and they start to become few and far between. You just have to try and ride the wave of anxiety and let all the anxious thoughts, symptoms, fears ect float by. This is hard to do especially when your feeling your worst trust me I know but you take it little by little and with the setbacks they are just that really you brush yourself off and start a new day a fresh and keep moving forward, hope that helps?.

Thanks Fairydust. I think that the further you move from your good days, the harder it is to remember that they happened. I think I'm depressed about my situation, that this has happened after four good years.

The only hope I have is that in the past I've recovered fairly quickly.

If my mood could improve just a little to be able to concentrate on something other than my thoughts I'd be very happy.

I went to Reading and had quite a spaced out time, waiting for ds to come back from his football stadium (4 hours) I kept trying to make decisions and failing (shoe shop, John Lewis presents, craft kits - bought nothing as I couldn't decide what any of it was for, or if I would follow through with anything..hopelessness)

In answer to your question In I then bought a book. And reasoned with myself if I at least started reading the book it was better than doing nothing and being paralysed with indecision...

I wonder whether we need to give ourselves permission to do small "pointless" but ultimately holistic things and not feel that everything we do has to be useful or make sense. So I think focussing on just one thing perhaps a hairwash or a chopped vegetable or a short journey achieved makes me feel better.

In the end I had a good day, and ds was very happy that I took him to the match (we went on the train) and he liked doing the football stadium bit independently too. I feel the house is my enemy atm, so it helps to get out and look at it a bit more dispassionately, and not panic.

oh and I really recommend the book. It is by Robin Hobb and the first one in the Farseer Trilogy, Assassin's Apprentice. I had read the last three books in the series, nos 13,14, 15, but never read No 1! I also bought some books on walking near us, country walks. I am determined to make dh do some walking of a Saturday..or failing that go by myself.

I challenged some more of my worries this evening. The entertaining and cooking supper for outsiders thing...well I just used some post its (the thin coloured ones like washi tape) to mark seven simple recipes that I could cook if people were coming to dinner, six for lunches if I invited a friend (again something I never do) and six dinner party menus from a 1980's book if I ever scaled up the occasion. I haven't had a dinner party for so long, it feels like 20 years of anxiety on this front.

My sister pointed out to me how odd it was I never invited people round to supper, and on the few occasions I did I seemed to be in a complete state of panic, although the food was very good

I've also tried to separate out in my mind three reasons why I don't like having visitors: feeling I don't have time to deal with children's demands and visitors (doesn't make sense now they are teens and love visitors) feeling house is dirty and chaotic (doesn't make sense, because people don't care as long as you are nice to them and give them a warm welcome and turn lights down low) feeling there is NO supper, well post it notes will try and remedy this one!

Glad that you had a good day Nettleskeins😊

How did you get on last night Fitzsimmons?

It was OK, it was tapas so I didn't eat a lot and the conversation was a good distraction. I feel very sick today though and lots of heartburn. I'm wondering about ringing the GP tomorrow and trying to get a same day appointment as I'm not sure I can wait another three weeks.

Fitzsimmons good idea if anything to help ease your mind a little.

Keep getting the odd feeling of anxiety building up today as if I’m waiting for something horrible to happen have no idea what though. God I hope this blip is over soon🙄.

Can I join?

I’ve been in a bad place for a long time now. And it’s all just too much. If I have one more panic attack I think I’m going to lose my mind. I’ve been like this for years and it’s destroying me. I’m only 26 I could live another 60 years and I can’t bear the thought. Being alive is so so hard. The constant anxiety is crippling me. I can’t leave the house or do anything. My Dc deserve so much better. It just won’t go away. I’ve tried everything and nothing makes it better.

At least on here you all understand how awful it is. It’s not something you can just turn off.

Of course lunalove welcome😊 hand Hold for you I completely understand, if only there was a switch to just shut it all off even for 5 minutes would be a very much welcomed relief.

Fitzsimmons have you looked at the Low FODMAP diet? The Independent had an article about it very recently, and you could google it on Mumsnet too. IBS (or that is what it is) can seem like anxiety related but it can have real physical symptoms causes. I think Fairy is right that checking with your GP ASAP would be worth it. Incidentally my dh had anxiety related stomach problems for ages (years/decades) and was always fobbed off by GP; he has since been diagnosed with an intolerance which was contributing to his anxiety ifysim because he was never sure how he was going to react to meals, especially meals out or when travelling. So it was real anxiety and a real intolerance coming a vicious circle. He is fine now, unless the travelling is very onerous and there is lots of external stress.

Luna so sorry to hear how bad you are feeling.

Luna I completely relate. Have you seen your GP?

Inthewoods I’ve been on citalapram for about seven years now. And last year i spent about 6k on therapy which made me worse. In the end I saw a psychologist who diagnosed me with avoidant personality disorder and told me not to bother because talking therapy wouldn’t work for me.

luna I'm not sure if you mean PDA but I've found that pyschotherapy very unhelpful unless it was quite CBT focused (sorry too many acronyms) I have a son with HFA and very main traits on the spectrum myself, which explains a lot of my anxieties (they are hardwired, and not to do with my life as a child/parents etc) Talking is good, but not in the pyschotherapeutic sense of unravelling the past, more accepting things I find very difficult.

Demands are full on with children, and I think it sets off so many bad emotions when you think you are not doing all the things you are "supposed" to. I've learnt to try and accept my imperfections as good enough, and recognise I am managing in some ways very well, which then helps my anxieties in other things. I know that feeling of not wanting to leave the house. Sometimes knowing that people are expecting so much makes even the smallest things impossible. Could you focus on incredibly small goals for now, like going to the gate and coming back, or going to the postbox even. Some days it really does seem all too much, even the littlest thing seems impossible. But you WILL get there. (that's what a friend once said to me, who herself grappled with severe depression and came out the other side)

I think there is a thread for PDA adults in SN children or chat, if that is what you mean by Avoidance Personality

Just stopping by, yesterday was difficult. This morning I have my hypnotherapy! Hoping it works x