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Mental health

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Anxiety support, Hand hold or chit chat come say hi

997 replies

Fairydust26 · 09/12/2017 15:31

going through abit of a crappy time with anxiety/health anxiety at the mo so thought it would be a good idea to create this thread. I always find that when I’m feeling anxious writing it down makes me feel a little bit better so hopefully some of you might too and we can support each other through this crappy time as I know it can make you feel pretty lonely. I’m trying to not drag myself back to bed and write today off so I’ve made a cuppaBrew put the heating on sat by the xmas tree and going to try and have a clam Saturday so come say hiSmileFlowers

OP posts:
Nettleskeins · 11/01/2018 22:57

Please let someone in RL know you are feeling bad Undercover you don't have to suffer alone at this moment. It is scary being alone ina house although you say it is not a trigger, no-one will mind if you turn up on their doorstep needing a bit of TLC. And how dare work make you feel like this, you really don't deserve to be in this state of mind and the pressure your workplace is obviously putting you under recently.

okay that is enough< I don't feel competent to advise, other than to say, You are going to be fine.

Fairydust26 · 11/01/2018 22:59

Hand hold for you Undercoverbanana have you tried dailing 1471 to see who the caller is? If it’s a number you don’t recognise google it you’ll probs find it’s nothing but cold callers. You should be able to switch the phone off at the main socket if you can’t find the cable, maybe you should let your dp know what’s happening hopefully that will calm you a little?.

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LEMtheoriginal · 11/01/2018 23:06

Is it still ringing? I have severe anxiety surrounding landlines and we don't have one as a result. Well we have the line but no phone can you trace the wire back to the box on the wall and pull the wire out?

Alternatively can you go to a friend? Family member? Travelodge as lastc resort?

We are all here for you xxx

gttia · 12/01/2018 07:55

Undecoverbannana - did you manage to go back in? I'm worried you sat in the cold. Can you leave the phone unplugged now until your dp comes back?
Big hugs

Fairydust26 · 12/01/2018 10:37

How are you feeling today Undercoverbanana? Better I hopeFlowers

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gttia · 12/01/2018 17:53

I hope she's ok?

Not a great day for me. Imagining the day he goes, how long that will be as won't part ways until evening time, that's like hanging on a cliff waiting for the drop. Wound myself right up Confused

gttia · 12/01/2018 17:56

Sorry me again!! I keep thinking I'll be hanging round him clinging to him, won't know what to do with myself, wont be able to concentrate on cleaning or jobs or go out because I'll just be wanting to be around him. But doing what?? Like being in limbo. Don't know why I keep imagining it, it's just a day, busy a snap shot in time and will only be a number of weeks. Ha wound myself into a tight coil!!!

Undercoverbanana · 12/01/2018 18:32

Thank you everyone who offered help. I'm not good. I slept in the car and feel terrible. I went to work and they want me to go on a training thing. No way could I cope with a hot room and people making me feel stupid. I think they are going to make me.

inthewoods4 · 12/01/2018 19:46

Undercover banana- do you think it's maybe time to tell your work about how you're suffering? I know it's a really hard thought, but maybe it might take some of the pressure off? I did a few years ago when I had my last episode, and I was offered counselling and time off. I hope you are ok xx

Undercoverbanana · 12/01/2018 20:06

Work know. When I had a panic attack at work they threatened me with a disciplinary.

Chugalug · 12/01/2018 20:12

Hi...is anyone else waking at 4 am and worrying? I then dose in 10 minute sessions waking up to check the time every 10 mins ,with increasing panic at the thought of the day ahead...weekdays are worse than weekends...it's a really shitty feeling and I've had it most of my life,just now is particularly bad..

inthewoods4 · 12/01/2018 20:31

God, that's awful!! I'm sure they can't do that legally can they?
Look for a new job? It sounds like a very unhealthy place to work x

Fairydust26 · 12/01/2018 20:43

I second woods too your place of work doesn’t sound very supportive at all. It’s clear that your job is affecting your mental health to a degree that you have to ask yourself is it really worth it. Hugs for you Undercoverbanana.

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Undercoverbanana · 12/01/2018 20:46

The training is mandatory for all of us. It is "part of the job".

The panic attack - I broke my mug and banged my keyboard a bit and the office princesses were scared so it was classed as unacceptable behaviour. I explained that I couldn't remember and only had other people's word for what happened. They weren't bothered about the bruises I sustained and the cut to my head or the fact that I was unconscious for a while.

Fairydust26 · 12/01/2018 20:47

Chugalug I often wake in the middle of the night worrying about something that’s happening in the near future. once you starts you just can’t shut it off It really is a shitty feeling so you have my sympathy for that.Flowers

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Undercoverbanana · 12/01/2018 20:47

Any job I do with have things that trigger me. I would feel inadequate and threatened in any job.

gttia · 12/01/2018 21:00

That sounds really hard, are you in the house tonight? Can you defer the training course?

I wake in the night and think of my trigger the minute I wake and then worry, and then lie there thinking I'll stay awake and enjoy him next to me because he'll soon be gone.

Undercoverbanana · 12/01/2018 21:08

I thought I was doing so well. I'd had a really good week or so. I'd started dealing with things quite well and identifying triggers and testing coping devices. Now I just feel useless and worthless again. DP comes home tonight. I will discuss getting rid of the phone. I can't go into that part of the house anymore. It's awkward because it's by the front door. I have to use the back door now. I don't know what he'll say. It's his house and his phone.

Nettleskeins · 12/01/2018 21:30

undercover you have not done anything wrong. But you could try unplugging the phone? It won't damage it really it won't. Some phones just have an off switch/electric plug too, like a toaster so you could switch that off it you don't want to unplug the phone line itself.

I speak as someone who is absolutely crap at driving, in tears putting up a mothercare safety gate, reduced to gibbering wreck by smoke alarm going off. You CAN DO IT. And don't be scared of talking to your dp, that's what partners are for, to tell one's fears to. I do it all the time, and my dp has plenty of triggers of his own. Like he cannot drive at ALL. And is frightened of chicken cooked in a sauce.

He is brilliant at lots of things, just not those things. You are not useless and worthless.

Anyway, I have had a moderately good day. Went out, saw some friends I have a bit of a heeby jeeby relationship with and had a very fun lunch with no anxiety/snarky comments/sense of being undermined. So tired after that though I fell asleep on the sofa, being cheerful is exhausting. At supper I just felt like I couldn't stand another minute of family meals, possibly a reaction to being free and active all day...hmm. A great weariness at the thought of washing up, menial tasks, having to be nice to people.

Basically winter is horrid isn't it?

gttia · 12/01/2018 21:31

If your dp is as amazing as mine the phone will be moved.

There's still no confirmation my dh is going away, just in the back ground as some point this year, so my anxiety is projected to something that's not even confirmed yet - if that makes you feel better xx

gttia · 12/01/2018 21:33

Nettleskins I dread summer more, in winter I can hide if he's not here in bed, with a book, in summer it's too light to hide and he's likely away in August and what am I going to do!!! Everyone will be in their gardens at wknd and I'll be brooding xx

Undercoverbanana · 12/01/2018 21:38

I have a friend who set light to her Christmas tree because all that twinkling was more than she could stand.

It was in her living room at the time.

Winter is a terrible, terrible time. It's been grey for days and days here. Dark when you go to work. Dark when you leave work. Awful.

Undercoverbanana · 12/01/2018 21:44

gttia - do you know how long he is likely to be away for? Could you have a holiday yourself at that time so that you are away from the places you would expect him to be? Would that help? Think of something you would really like to see or do? Just an idea.

Also - just because others are in their gardens etc, doesn't mean you can't hunker down with a good book.

Do you have DCs to factor in to this?

slippermaiden · 12/01/2018 21:58

I think I'm developing an anxiety problem...I went for a cervical smear yesterday, cried on the way there and then when she was about to do it, had it done many times before and not cried. Going to the dentist has become stressful last couple of visits but for no reason, same thing, tears when I get there and in the way. I have always worried I will die before my children grow up, but am in good health as far as I know. As someone said up thread, I feel very anxious going on flights and booking holidays abroad, but as it gets closer I worry it will be cancelled! I don't know if this is all normal in our stressful world or I should go to the Dr. I do find I'm quite down in the winter months, which doesn't help matters as I just want to lay in bed all day 😔

LEMtheoriginal · 12/01/2018 22:56

I am reading everyone's posts Flowers I wish I had answers.

I'm struggling so much myself. I'm not well (flu/virus) and it's knocked me for six. I feel like everything is slipping away.