Anxiety support, Hand hold or chit chat come say hi

[Fairydust26]

going through abit of a crappy time with anxiety/health anxiety at the mo so thought it would be a good idea to create this thread. I always find that when I’m feeling anxious writing it down makes me feel a little bit better so hopefully some of you might too and we can support each other through this crappy time as I know it can make you feel pretty lonely. I’m trying to not drag myself back to bed and write today off so I’ve made a cuppa put the heating on sat by the xmas tree and going to try and have a clam Saturday so come say hi

Did your ds arrive safely peggyandkitty?
The majority of my anxiety over recent years has been over stuff involving my dcs and I seem to get worse as they get older. Their health and happiness is the most important thing in the world to me. Mind it doesn't stop me stressing over other stuff as well

Thanks Pinkcoat. Yes he did arrive safely but his luggage went missing!! He got it back the next morning thankfully.
But this is the poor frame of mind I'm in at the moment. You would think I'd be happy and relieved that he is OK and got his bag but my stupid mind is fishing again. What can I worry about? Well the fact that his bag went missing and what if it happens again and so on and so on. Thousands of bags go missing all the time, and usualy turn up. Why would I be stressing about such a thing?
I'm seriously messed up I know, and I do honestly think that nobody else would react like this

peggy again I am going to go out on a limb and say, most people would find it a source of anxiety if their precious child was in a foreign country with all his worldly goods lost on a conveyor belt in ! Not unreasonable at all.

I am feeling much better today. I woke up and instead of blind panic about what job round house needed doing and how none was possible to achieve and therefore it might be better to hide and do nothing (further increasing panic at all the things that hadn't been done) I woke up, and just went out, did two errands. Cleaning stuff, healthfood stuff (miso paste that sort of thing) always meaning to go and never do, then stress about lack of nice meals being cooked, (Guardian weekend is a trigger for this one and BOOKED A SIGHT TEST (my glasses have been stressing me for ages) Came back. Will concentrate on a further two errands. More food and the pharmacy, and pick up my blood test results, again something I've haven;t done for weeks because there is always something else that needs doing.

Two sixth form meetings in last two days and a lot of walking have been tiring and exhausting paperwork wise/emotionally dealing with ASD ds2 and his A level choices. I can see light. Only dd to deal with this evening.

Also managed to talk to two people today and yesterday who made me feel calmer about my decision making with ds2/1, gave me perspective. Honestly listening to other people rather than always thinking ones own egocentric version of issues, really helps me. And when I go out, I always bump into people who give me the perspective, as long as their children aren't super perfect A students

Today I also have to drive somewhere, and I'm worried the car is due an MOT, therefore panicking.

However, calmly looking at problem there are two obvious sollutions. Check in box of car stuff for date of last MOT. failing that walk to MOT place and find out when I did it last. Failing that, take tube to place I would normally drive too (and incur wrath of dd, but still, cannot be helped) another sixth form meeting Mock gsce results. funnily these don't worry me at all, dd's results will be what they will be.

Thanks again Nettleskins for your words of wisdom. I know its an understandable worry but it's the extent and the extremes that I take it to that are the problem. I would have found something to worry about regardless of this happening and I'll try and tell myself that the chances of it happening again are slim. But to hear someone else give their perspective on my specific situation is a great comfort.

I've been trying to keep myself busy cleaning the house today whilst listening to anxiety self help stuff on YouTube. I'm sure I will calm down eventually and most probably move onto something else.

You seem to have a lot going on nettle and it is good to speak with people in RL. It always helps me. That's if I can be honest and not be like " ha ha guess what happened" kind of thing, pretending that I'm not too bothered. I always try and talk about stuff with friends/ colleagues but I bring it up in a jokey way, as if its just one of those things and I'm fine. When in reality I'm in bits.

Seriously looking into counseling. Its going to cost a fortune but if it helps it will be worth it.

Hi, can I join? I'm going through a horrible blip at the moment which started on New Year's Day. It started with anxiety, which got steadily worse. Now, the physical anxiety symptoms have lessened but I feel very depressed. Today at the school gates I felt like an outsider, whereas just days ago I loved being sociable. I'm hoping the depression feelings are just a reaction to the anxiety...

Of course inthewoods4 welcome😊 as you know anxiety & depression go hand in hand unfortuantly☹️. Many times when My anxiety’s high I often feel depressed and wonder if I actually have that too? But when the anxiety lessons the low feelings go to so who knows. Just know your not alone in feeling this way I hope you feel better soon.

I don’t think I have depression as in the serious, “clinical” type. I may well have “low-level” aka dysthymia, I’ve looked up the symptoms and agree with a lot of them.

Hi inthewoods4, I'm very new here but everyone has been lovely. X

Thanks ladies. Does anyone else find it hard being with other people who all look so happy and normal? It's really upsetting for me, I hate pretending I'm ok xx

Hi inthewoods I do.

I posted above somewhere about problems at work - despite my diagnosis I was taken aside and told I needed to 'work harder' at being 'chatty and sociable'. When I politely explained why I can't do this I was told I was rejecting constructive criticism.

I don't think people who don't feel like this understand how much effort it takes to 'pretend' to be ok. It's exhausting. I did it for years and years. I find it makes me a lot worse and just reached a point where I'm done with it and need to not push myself to do that, to get better. I reached a point where I was just bursting into tears and couldn't stop, I couldn't even pretend any more.

inthewoods and sparklythings You're right pretending to be ok when you are struggling is so exhausting. However, there are times when it is nice to be with people and have a distraction from my thoughts.

new I find it a great relief not to pretend to be sociable! I now firmly say "no" to lots of things and say things like I don't like parties or that's a busy week for me (busy in the sense of too much socialising) and feel much firmer about it, and less apologetic.
Focus positively on all the things you do well and less defensively about the things you do "badly", I say "badly" because that is the other person's opinion only. No-one can tell you to be friendly, they can tell you be polite and courteous but to be chatty...well that is a character trait it is not something you have to do unless you have signed up to be a professional chatty person!!

Today I have stalled somewhat but planted some bulbs and made a lot of muddy mayhem in the garden, which is very relaxing. Knot of tension remains about the paperwork but I suspect that can wait until it actually starts raining/blizzarding, and being outside is what I need right now. Off to sweep front porch of 3 months of leaves.

vista I find other people cheer me up a lot, but enforced jollity...well, worse nightmare.

It’s difficult when everyone seems to be doing great. I tend to reassure myself that they may have their own issues to deal with. I had a friend at school who seemed to be dealing with life well - great school grades, good social life, etc. Yet a couple of years ago she revealed on Facebook that she’d been struggling with BPD and PTSD, and had tried to commit suicide and had been hospitalised. No-one can guess what problems another person is going through.

KenforPM that's what I try and tell myself...I've just done the school run alone for the first time since this hit me, and I decided to be honest and tell the other mum's that I was struggling. I guess I was kind of hoping for a 'ive been through that too' but instead got lots of sympathy.
I've just gone up on my meds ( citalopram) which isn't helping I don't think. Did anyone else feel heightened anxiety when they went up? Xx

Posting on here to try to rationalise my thoughts.

Help me. I am sitting on the kitchen floor in the dark, shaking.

I live in my DP's house(for 3 years) and he is away so I am alone. I am absolutely fine when he works away - not a trigger.

Telephones are a trigger for me. DP has a landline telephone that is never used. I don't even know the number. It is ringing constantly.

I am terrified. Shaking. Want to die. Want to be sick. My head is exploding. My eyes hurt. I can't see.

What is happening? why?

Undercover, my thoughts are that this is a Demand. And you don't know in advance who is making the demand, so no way of being able to prepare yourself. It could be someone who wants to chat away at length when you are not in the mood, or someone asking you to do something, or someone you don't even know.

I would switch the phone off and not worry about the person who is ringing, probably a very very annoying cold caller or else someone you don't know. Unless it is your dp and he is ringing because your mobile isn't working??? But you could find that out in a sec by texting him. Or maybe his mobile isn't working and he cannot remember your mobile no for some reason, only his own home no. Turn phone off. Then turn it on and check 1471 for last no recall.

Stay well. You are going to be fine. You are going to be fine.

Btw I have many friends who HATE telephones so I know it is a common problem not to like disembodied voices. I like them because they are free of body language and I can always stop talking when I choose to by pretending something has come up. But everyone is different in that respect. Telephones are commonplace in thrillers for the reason that they are actually quite odd things if you think about it. Not human at all. Don't why we all think it is a "normal" means of communicating with each other [mutters to herself]

Not DP. He knows about the trigger it causes. My mobile is in my pocket and almost fully charged. No-one I know would phone me - they all know that I think it would kill me.

How do you turn a landline off? Does it have a switch? Please don't make me go near it. Can I do it remotely? I've lived here 3 years. It's never done this noise before. What if it keeps happening all night?

I'm going to sleep in my car. I can't do this.

We gave telephones at work and I have to answer them. Please God don't make this happen when I'm out of that place too. How can anyone bear this? Please please let me die now.

firstly, it should have a way to unplug it from the socket (ours have for the last 20 years, surely it isn't any older than that?)
Secondly it might have a volume control, which you can turn down to nothing.
Thirdly, you can take it off the hook or cut the wire. It is not an electric wire I don't think unless there is something very odd about it (!) so it shouldn't be difficult to just snip it.

You will be fine, you will be fine.

Can't go back in. In the car. Bloody freezing cos I feel so bad. What do they want? Why are they doing it? What did I do wrong?

you haven't done anything wrong. One of the other things that might cause the phone to ring incessantly is a callback from BT.

Is there someone you can call to go back into your house to disconnect the phone for you? It should be very simple. Much simpler than a turning off a smoke alarm for example or a burglar alarm. You just look down at the skirting board (usually) and there will be a little socket like how you plug in any electronic device, except this is not usually electric, but to do with the phone line. You just pull it out. Hey presto, no-one is harmed in anyway, nothing will beep when you disconnect it (unlike ruddy smoke alarms )

I think you need to phone your dp too. Or text him. Just to talk you through the problem.

I have to go now, because I have to put recalcitrant teens to bed, but hopefully someone else will come onto the thread. You could pretend to a neighbour that you are worried you heard a burglar, and then ask them as a courtesy to disconnect the phone because it is beeping Is that a possiblity?