Anxiety support, Hand hold or chit chat come say hi

[Fairydust26]

going through abit of a crappy time with anxiety/health anxiety at the mo so thought it would be a good idea to create this thread. I always find that when I’m feeling anxious writing it down makes me feel a little bit better so hopefully some of you might too and we can support each other through this crappy time as I know it can make you feel pretty lonely. I’m trying to not drag myself back to bed and write today off so I’ve made a cuppa put the heating on sat by the xmas tree and going to try and have a clam Saturday so come say hi

Fairydust Rache1986 I am currently keeping a diary of my feelings. I add to it all day, every day. It is really helping me identify my thought patterns throughout the day. I think seeing patterns can really help to recognise what we are doing to ourselves. I am going to be able to go to my Wellbeing appointment with something very solid to work on next time.

name change I did a big long reply to you yesterday but I don't know what happened to it.
Is your anxiety totally work related? I ask because I know someone who had a total breakdown partly because of the pressures at work and also because if the kind of person she is and her need to do everything perfectly.
Anyway, is there anyone at work - HR or Occu health - that you can speak to about the unacceptable desk situation. Your employers have a duty of care to you and maybe if they understand how this will affect you they could rethink. After all they are going to want to have you back asap. Can the union help?
A visit to the gp is probably a good idea as well. Even if its just to talk and maybe adjust your meds.
Don't despair. My friend was off work for 5 months and dreading going back but it all worked out.

Keeping a diary is a good idea Undercoverbanana I’ve started writing in mine again I always find writing my worries down really helps. Hope your wellbeing appointment goes well!.

I greatly admire all if you who keep themselves busy during a bad spell doing jobs around the house, exercising or going for a brisk walk in the fresh air.
When I'm not good, and at home, I spend hours and hours on the internet, here or other sites, looking for help and information. I know its a waste if time and is probably not doing me any good but that's currently how I get through. I'm in a kind of limbo until the thing I am stressing about gets resolved.
How do you motivate yourself to do this?

a good outcome to report re: social anxiety.

I was invited to a party last night. Looking forward to it, pretty straightforward non frightening event and looking forward to seeing particular few friends there. 3 hours before started bottling it, partly because I got ds1 involved, and he suddenly refused to go, despite my elaborate preparations to make sure there was a teen of same age there (possibly because of this!) he is really shy but desperate for social occasions and had begged to come along. Then he bottled and I wanted to bottle too. Then I rang up mother of teen, told he definitely wasn't coming, felt a bit better, more determined, decided to go to party dressedin old jumper, then felt a bit more confident as I was putting on old jumper, decided to dress a bit more smartly, found a nice outfit, put on a necklace..and foudn myself lookinf rowrd to it again.

Enjoyed party tremendously, no alcohol, talked to loads of people who all delighted to see me (I Hope) and felt it was all WORTH WHILE> dh enjoyed it a great deal too.

So it is transition, fear on behalf of child, fear of appearance, fear of leaving kids..And Ive beaten it, this time, and made three more arrangements for following few weeks with friends I met there..

Bigfatmeanie hope you feel better soon. Tooth pain makes me really scared, I feel it growing and swelling like some invisible monster, I have had several root canals and two dry sockets. But antiobiotics will help if it comes to that, and I've found getting emergency prescription to have just in case helps my mental preparation and fear of things getting worse in the night etc.

Ds1 who is 17 did actually come to the party after all. He stood outside the door and then went home, despite travelling 45 mins to get there on the tube. He said he felt too scared to come in. At home he was very sheepish about this. We said, why didn't you tell us, we could have come out and said hello to you and given you some canapes, and even if you had wanted to go home after that, at least you would have had the option to say hi to us and goodbye. He agreed that NEXT TIME he wouldn't catastrophise. But at least he put clothes on and travelled by tube to the party, that was brave at least..Oh dear, it is depressing to think our sins are visited on the children..anxiety I mean. The other kids there would have so loved to see him, they were terribly bored and longing for a diversion, so just one 17 year old would have been the answer, far from his imaginings of being the social misfit.

Not a good place today. Dh has to go away for work, up to three weeks. Feel very down and panicky.

I don't take any meds do you think I should? I've been offered free hypnotherapy so will be starting that.

Happy Sunday to all xx

three weeks is a long time! I would be anxious even if I wasn't anxious ifysim! Is there anyone who can stay with you short-term, or visit as a special treat for them. In the past, when dh has been away for long periods it has been difficult in one sense because of the children, extra responsibility but easier in the sense that they kept me company. I did find it pretty difficult though. I used to try and make little events, special to that time, to break the time up, coffee with a friend, that sort of thing. Also I tried to do things I normally didn't do with dh, like organise the house, so it was an opportunity etc. I've always liked having a special person with me and hated being alone - tbh it is something you have to combat in small steps, practise doing things without him, fun outings or activities before he goes perhaps?

Hypotheraphy sound really good.

Thank you! You are the first person who hasn't said stop being silly. He is going to try and make it a week, but the reality is it will be a minimum of two, so if I say three I'm prepared for the worst case.
Thank you for replying and being kind x

Think I already mentioned my anxiety around learning to drive, mainly that it sounds really complicated and how the hell would I remember everything, but I can also get anxious even crossing the road. Last summer I was literally inches from being run over, the car just managed to stop. Naturally I was left pretty shaken and I’ve been pretty worried since. As I live in London learning to drive isn’t an absolute imperative like it might be if I lived rurally, but I realise it’s a pretty useful life skill. Plus it’s expensive to learn and get insurance, even though my family aren’t poor or anything it’s still a lot!!
How do you guys feel about it if you do drive?

Ken I'm an anxious driver and I cannot drive on motorways. I live in London and learned late. And incidentally the driving I did made me put on a lot of weight!!

However, my aunt once said to me...learn to drive in an automatic, and set your sights low, if all you want to achieve is local driving, well that is a good starting point. So I tend to drive locally, which is very useful and the more I drive a certain route, the easier it becomes. And I quite enjoy familiar drives, they seem almost fun, when you put the radio on. You can almost do them without thinking. Whereas driving where I have to think a lot, ah that is when anxiety sets in.

So, definitely try it out, a lesson with a driving instructor is a pretty safe way to drive not much can go wrong, and take it from there. Putting it off, just makes it seem more and more of an impossibility. I only bothered to learn because I had 3 under 3, and I set myself the goal at that point, aged 35. I do wish I had perservered a bit earlier. However, I like that fact that I can do all journeys including long ones by public transport and that doesn't phase me at all, or seem that inconvenient, and I think that is a benefit of having been a non-driver for many many years. I also was slim and fit as a result..but of course plenty of people are slim and fit and drive too.

I also would check out your eyesight, short sightedness can alter, my prescription changed and that affected some of my road perceptions even though I could still see well. I had always had glasses since a early teen, but I hadn't realised that my depth perception was not quite right, although I was fine on "dry land".

Interestingly I am both short-sighted and have astigmatism and wear glasses.
I’m pretty sure I will be able to bring myself to learn to drive one day. My main issue is with anticipation, I tend to be very negative and think everything will go/be shit. Usually I end up being fine but that never seems to help! That’s always the way, though; we discount the positives and over-exaggerate the negatives.

Kenforpm.

I love driving, I drive here everywhere, I drive abroad in both my car and left hand drive cars. Nothing about it phases new, suggest a night on my own however!! I like the feeling of driving and the control of the car. What is it that scares you do you mind me asking? X

It doesn’t really scare me as such. It’s more that it seems complicated (to me) and that I’ll never remember how it all works, and I’d have to focus on lots of things at once. Plus other drivers can be unpredictable and crap at driving. Obviously most are good but you never know when you’ll get an idiot.

I understand that, it's a time when my mind sort of becomes settled because I have to focus on the road.
I was given no choice at learning, my parents at 17 signed me up and there was no discussion!!

I'll join in if I may. Need support, handhold and chit chat!
Extremely anxious. I worry needlessly about many things but ds going back to uni in US tomorrow and flying via new York and in my mind everything that can go wrong will go wrong. I'm seeing loads of news stories about delays, missed connections due to the bad weather and my neighbour has taken great delight in telling me of all the problems. Why would she do that!! Dh says she revels in other people's misery.

Anyway, this is my current worry but I'll be sure to move onto something else soon.

I'm sick of my life and I'm going to have a vino to try and calm down. Any words of comfort would be appreciated.

my words of comfort are: [I'm getting good at this

I like you Peggy was sick with worry about ds1 flying to Colorado to go ski-ing with school, at 14/15 as he is rubbish at sport, and the flying alone was terrifying me, let alone thought of him having a hideous accident far away in America etc/breaking his neck.

However, that was the week that dh was hospitalised with a dangerous condition, out of the blue! He was fine after a rocky few days, but I remember thinking..wow, I'm not worried about ds1 at all now... So I suppose, there will always be something to worry about, when you are least expecting it, not the things you expect to worry about ifysim I would just try and get through the next few days focusing on the time when you know he will be safely at the university, and the flight will be over. Think of all the other people on the flight, of them calmly packing, the pilot who wants to fly safely and is in charge of the flight, your son who is not worried at all (presumably) These things would take my mind off my own preoccupation, failing that I just do a countdown, by this time next week I won't be worried about this particular thing any more.

How is everyone? I'm struggling - Christmas was so fraught and stressfull. Didn't really have any time off work and now I've gone down with what I think is going to be a chest infection. I'm exhausted - work 40 hours a week although last week was 50. Studying on top of this and no sleep due to anxiety. When I'm home I'm grumpy with dd.

I am scared of my eyes and want to scratch them out

tomorrow is a bad day for me, as I have to take ds2 (who is pretty fraxxled after his residential trip although the trip itself went well) to a Sixth form interview. Because ds2 has ASD it is really difficult to explain what the issues are, and what his strengths are, without ending up somehow saying either too little or too much, overestimating or underestimating his talents, and Ds2 hates these interviews. I am tempted to just not go, and cancel this particular one as it is a private school, much smaller classes nevertheless, and I don't know how whether it is worth it. However, I know I should at least see what they offer. I want ds to take tomorrow off school to destress, and he is determined to go to school (and not especially interested in the interview)

Dh says I am making a fuss over nothing. I am comign round to his point of view. After all, I am the customer, I have nothing to fear!!!

oh dear, LEM that is terrible! Is there a deadline for the studying you can extend? I think we are all grumpy when we get anxious,

No extension. Am at the beginning of 3 year course. In all honesty the study is the easy part.

I've been lurking on this thread for a while and I think it's time that I joined if that is ok?

I have had anxiety issues since I remember but following a stressful second half to 2017, which I didn't manage very well my anxiety developed into depression. I feel that I am starting to turn a corner with the depression but the anxiety is still a struggle.

I feel sometimes that my body is so used to be stressed and anxious that it is now my default state and sometimes I am not even sure what I am anxious about if that makes sense?

Aw thank you Nettleskins. That helps. I just like to give myself a reason for being anxious I suppose. Funny thing is, I'm more worried about him being stranded at JFK and not getting his connecting flight and all manner of stuff, rather than there being an accident. But you are totally right. This time next week I'll have moved on to something else I'm sure.
This anxiety is crap.

Hello,may I join..I may name change actually soon,I'm drinking a lot..like a bottle of sherry every 5 days.it helps me sleep.otherwise I'm awake worried all night...I spend the day looking forward to going to bed to hide and drink..I worry about something for a few days then move on to something else.its a horrendous feeling.