Anxiety support, Hand hold or chit chat come say hi

[Fairydust26]

going through abit of a crappy time with anxiety/health anxiety at the mo so thought it would be a good idea to create this thread. I always find that when I’m feeling anxious writing it down makes me feel a little bit better so hopefully some of you might too and we can support each other through this crappy time as I know it can make you feel pretty lonely. I’m trying to not drag myself back to bed and write today off so I’ve made a cuppa put the heating on sat by the xmas tree and going to try and have a clam Saturday so come say hi

I have my pelvic ultrasound today... Am hoping it goes well so I can move on and start trying to focus on real life stuff (and not start focusing on the next symptom ).

Hope everyone else's day goes well x

today has been worse again.

I've realised I am unable to let people help me when I have problems, it is almost as if I find the invasion of territory unbearable. Today I have a cleaning lady who comes in for 2 hours - the entire time I was in a state of high tension, longing for her to go, and leave me to clean by myself. In the end I only got through the experience by leaving the house to buy groceries, banning her from certain extremely untidy rooms, and insisting I did the bathroom myself so ridiculous. She is a lovely lovely cleaning lady, and wants only to help, it is me that is the problem!!! Something to do with feeling judged for needing help, the feeling of despair that the house is so revolting, and a sense of panic that there are so many of things that need doing and that aesthetic cleaning/tidying is one of the least important (think tax return, sorting clothes, scrubbing loo, planting bulbs, cleaning out dustbin area - these are the things that really need to be done, and only I can do them!)

Tonight is the theatre outing. It hangs over me like a pall!!!

But the positive news is:#

I cleaned two bathrooms
bought some groceries
took exercise
the pot plant on the table is flowering
and the floor is lovely and clean thanks to the cleaning lady (that dog must have brought in an awful lot of mud!!) and it is a whole week before I have the cleaner again...
and a very nice lunch with dh and two children.

Also children all are in very good moods.

I always swore I would never get anxious about the same things as my mother, but to my horror I am feeling the same panic over the same things as her..only at least I know the remedy - read books, get outside and GARDEN!!!

usually I love Windy Days (think Mary Poppins) but today I am worrying about a large branch falling on me if I go to the park, or the neighbours evil tree (the one I am convinced is causing subsidence ) falling on us in the night. Admittedly my sister's tree fell down two days ago and narrowly missed the house, so it is not entirely unlikely, still, it would be too much of coincidence catastrophe if both our gardens had tree disasters

which reminds me: I need to check the INSURANCE (which I am convinced I haven't renewed..or is it direct debit???)

I hope it went well for you Sunshine4677 and you got some good news?.

Sorry to hear your having a bad day Nettleskeins hope you have fun at the theatre tonight and hope tomorrow’s better for you!

Thank you Fairydust26 - my scan went great...absolutely no issues detected. The doctor wants me to consider a laparoscopy as they are thinking possible endometriosis. I will mull it over for a while as I've had enough of tests and doctors for the time being x

sunshine glad scan went well. I have had a laparoscopy and it does knock you out for a few days but was useful; BUT definitely give yourself a break in between tests and doctors!

theatre went well, what I wasn't expecting was to find it so wearying (I nearly fell asleep in the middle) usually I get a second wind. kids had a tremendous time and ds2 (who has Asperger's) had a lovely time chatting [up] one of the other teens there, who liked all the same plays as him. I even managed to cook supper before we left at 6pm. Also sorted out the insurance. However, come back to find a grumpy dh - late nights always make things grumpy I find, possibly I have good reason for avoiding them! Need to find various things for tomorrow now, school stuff etc. But tomorrow I have a lovely walk planned, so the worst is over!

Sunshine - so glad it went well.

Nettleskeins - that sounds positive. Keep busy in ways that build your confidence and mood.

I did my "big challenge" yesterday evening. I DID IT!!!!! I was very anxious, but I did it. I was exhausted afterwards and had no dinner because I fell asleep. Long, healthy sleep. Riding that wave.

Glad it all went well sunshine. I bet its a feeling of relief.
Nettleskins great the theatre trip worked out and everyone enjoyed it.
I had a look online at the help thing that work offers and it looks like you can talk to someone over the phone about anxiety. I've had telephone CBT before and didn't get anything out of it so I think I am going to have to seriously consider paying for counseling.
I just need to get it into my head that these issues I get consumed with are just not worth it. I need my brain to stop ruminating over things that in reality are trivial and need to get into the habit of thinking "so what" instead of "omg what if" thing that I tend to do.
Day off work today so going to try and keep busy with jobs that needs doing although dh has been on nights so I'll be tiptoeing around trying to be quiet.
Loving this thread fairydust. Its good to be able to be honest and have a chat about stuff, even if its just ramblings. It helps.

Can I join this thread?

Am at home on long-term (by now) sick leave

Supposed to return to work but my employer is making it very difficult by changing my desk from a very quiet, private space to a very visible one in a large noisy open plan office. My union says not to go back but sitting at home isn't better.

Sitting here freaking out completely, thinking I'll never work again, noone will want me after this (even though my work has never been at fault), I'll end up destitute etc.

I have both anxiety and depression, yesterday just burst into sobbing tears at intervals, and felt exhausted though I had had enough sleep.

Today just jittery, can't seem to do anything just feel like my head will explode.

I'm on 60mg Duloxetine.

Was supposed to see MH services this week but as always they moved my appointment 2 months away.

Not sure whether I shoudl make an emergency appointment with my GP, I"m really not coping but not sure what they could do. It's all to do with the work situation right now and it's not something they can solve.

Yesterday did some 30 minute meditation, that helped a bit - until a courier banged loudly on the door jolting me out of that state.

I have a pile of books if I could just make myself focus and read them. Vegging out on TV otherwise. Have stopped binge eating, as it really wasn't helping the past few months. Have also made an effort this week to quit caffeine, sugar, alcohol and drinks loads of water etc, all the self care things I know should help.

Just writing this am on the verge of tears again.

Can I join this thread?

Am at home on long-term (by now) sick leave

Supposed to return to work but my employer is making it very difficult by changing my desk from a very quiet, private space to a very visible one in a large noisy open plan office. My union says not to go back but sitting at home isn't better.

Sitting here freaking out completely, thinking I'll never work again, noone will want me after this (even though my work has never been at fault), I'll end up destitute etc.

I have both anxiety and depression, yesterday just burst into sobbing tears at intervals, and felt exhausted though I had had enough sleep.

Today just jittery, can't seem to do anything just feel like my head will explode.

I'm on 60mg Duloxetine.

Was supposed to see MH services this week but as always they moved my appointment 2 months away.

Not sure whether I shoudl make an emergency appointment with my GP, I"m really not coping but not sure what they could do. It's all to do with the work situation right now and it's not something they can solve.

Yesterday did some 30 minute meditation, that helped a bit - until a courier banged loudly on the door jolting me out of that state.

I have a pile of books if I could just make myself focus and read them. Vegging out on TV otherwise. Have stopped binge eating, as it really wasn't helping the past few months. Have also made an effort this week to quit caffeine, sugar, alcohol and drinks loads of water etc, all the self care things I know should help.

Just writing this am on the verge of tears again.

Can I join this thread?

Am at home on long-term (by now) sick leave

Supposed to return to work but my employer is making it very difficult by changing my desk from a very quiet, private space to a very visible one in a large noisy open plan office. My union says not to go back but sitting at home isn't better.

Sitting here freaking out completely, thinking I'll never work again, noone will want me after this (even though my work has never been at fault), I'll end up destitute etc.

I have both anxiety and depression, yesterday just burst into sobbing tears at intervals, and felt exhausted though I had had enough sleep.

Today just jittery, can't seem to do anything just feel like my head will explode.

I'm on 60mg Duloxetine.

Was supposed to see MH services this week but as always they moved my appointment 2 months away.

Not sure whether I shoudl make an emergency appointment with my GP, I"m really not coping but not sure what they could do. It's all to do with the work situation right now and it's not something they can solve.

Yesterday did some 30 minute meditation, that helped a bit - until a courier banged loudly on the door jolting me out of that state.

I have a pile of books if I could just make myself focus and read them. Vegging out on TV otherwise. Have stopped binge eating, as it really wasn't helping the past few months. Have also made an effort this week to quit caffeine, sugar, alcohol and drinks loads of water etc, all the self care things I know should help.

Just writing this am on the verge of tears again.

Sorry, had trouble posting and it has somehow done it twice!

Well today, ds2 did what he never ever does, get in a complete strop before going to school, due to a combination of chewing gum on school trousers, and not being sure about an forthcoming residential trip, and details thereof (note to self, always talk through every aspect of a trip with an asperger's child, even if they appear to be relaxed on surface and coping fine) ds2 flipped when I suggested he ask some people in the SEN room about the trip (as it is a small supportive group) apparently this was a complete no-no to even suggest he was friends with them..and he pushed a glass of water I was holding away, which promptly broke. Actually I felt very calm, the minute he explodes I feel unusually calm and soothing He apologised and I cleared up the glass, and well..

it is all fine. dd is plodding around now on her way to school (late start) and ds1 has already gone, in a puff of green smoke earlier. He has some uni offers, so now I'm worrying about that, but pleased too.

Struggling today.

DD aged 4 moved up a room at nursery. She's always struggled to settle. She was trying so hard to be brave when I left but I could tell she was worried. This room is a lot more independent so they like you to just leave them at the door.. hard for my DD and for me.

Now I'm in work (same site) and anxiety going mad. So worried about her today. My in-laws are picking up at 3 so she doesn't have to stay later as I teach until 4. Just feel really panicky and like I need to run away and hide. No one to talk to about it here.

Feel so useless.

Rachie even in Reception (and she is of course the age that some children start Reception) they allow parents to settle the children before they leave them; I used to remember some parents came in to make sure their children were alright, not all, but some certainly needed that little bit of extra input at the beginning. I would ask this evening if that is possible, if only for your peace of mind, there should be no reason why they should refuse you, and you are certainly not being unusual to feel worried about her starting a new room. I really feel for you, it is agony worrying about them. I used to be very very clingy to my mum at that age, and hate parting, but I do remember that I very very quickly adapted once I was in the nursery/school day, it was just the transition that upset me so terribly. Maybe your dd is the same, transitions are difficult at that age (and any age )

Hope you get through today, bet you are very warm and sympathetic teacher and give a lot of thought to all the children you teach.

I remember a kind headteacher once saying to me over the fence at 11am (I was passing school on my way somewhere) when I had dropped off dd in Reception and she was screaming on the way in earlier that morning, "Just to let you know, dd is fine, she is doing x atm" that really helped me. Is there anyone you can get hold of at the nursery to give you a little snapshot of your dd today so you can visualise what she is doing and feel less worried?

Thank you so so much for your kind words. I was a bit of a state when I posted that.

DD seems to have had a good day (phew!). She tells me she cried once after I left (thought she might) but one of the teachers did a picture with her and then she was ok.. tbh I'm not sure staying longer helps as she sometimes cried when I left in the last room when I did settle her a bit!

I did try to spot her at lunch as they walk across near the staffroom to no avail. That would have helped. But she was ok anyway. Just hoping it continues.

Thank you so much. Posting helped a bit and then I had a chat with another mum-teacher so that helped. And then I was thankfully busy much of the day!

Hi name change. Sorry to hear things aren't great. No advice but well done for posting, were all here to chat and try and help. Personally I would try and see GP again.. if nothing else you feel you're doing something!

Nettleskeins great that theatre went well. And fab for staying calm with ds2. I'm not great at that with DD (but trying to get better!).

Hope everyone's day has been ok x

How’s everyone feeling today all well I hope? If not hugs to you all

Feel a bit better today.
Night out for dh I'm normally very easy with, but this next one I know they'll plan their weekend away so I'm getting wound up.
Haven't told him though. He hasn't said he's even going on the drinks, so my anxiety is worse because I don't even know if he's going!!! Should I just ask him maybe?

Hope everyone ok xx

Hope this evening is ok gttia.

I've struggled the last 2 days, having been so anxious yesterday I just can't shake it. So frustrating. Want a g&t this evening but don't think it'll help.

Hope everyone has some nice weekend plans x

Ask him gttia it will put your mind at ease!😊

Rachie1986 maybe a small one might help calm you a little? Really hope tomorrow’s better for you

I’ve been feeling okay these past few days how long that will last for who knows? but have noticed my anxiety becomes far worser when AF is coming anyone else notice this?.

Hope the weekend treats you all well😊.

Fairydust you are clever! It is that time of the month for me this week and that probably does mess with my anxiety... Hadn't even twigged

Thank you! Sometimes it seems more manageable if I understand a bit more why (in some ways) x

Rachie1986 would make sense wouldn’t it?! Reading back through this thread has made me realise that my anxiety really does peak around that time. As if we didn’t have enough to deal with already ha! 😩