How, just how, do you keep going?

[colouringinagain]

Tonight, and many nights recently I feel like falling asleep and just not waking up. I'm so exhausted emotionally, mentally, tomorrow already makes me feel exhausted.

I’m so sorry you’re struggling what’s your situation? Would you like to talk?

Is there a practical reason for the exhaustion, young children, caring for someone, illness?

I've managed to post twice

Oh, right.

Is everything ok?

Trying to hold things together, but feel like I'm loosing my ds tonight

Why?

He wants to live with OH. Separated since Feb

That's tough. How old is he?

That's 'tough' doesn't quite cover it does it? It's like a kick to the stomach I'm guessing. The only thing to cling onto is your son's happiness and welfare. With or without you being the primary carer. You can watch him thrive from afar you know. Be the Disney parent like most Dads do. Don't be stressing yourself to death. Your life matters too.

DH works away two days a week and on those days I drop the kids at school, come home, sit on the sofa and cry for five hours straight. I'm going to see my GP next week. How about we both go get help? I'll chum you along if you give me the kick up the arse to get there.

hiddley Dad has bipolar 1 and aspergers traits. We've been separated a year. Ds misses him terribly, but I don't think he should live with him

floella I'm already on ADs - essential when living with severely mentally ill OH. My life for last 5 years has been so traumatic, and not improving a lot.

Have dd with me today and am stuck on sofa. Supposed to be having a girlie day. Just want to hide under duvet and cry

How old is ds?

Do you suffer with your mental health OP?

Ds is 9.

I have suffered in the past. I've been well mentally this last year, despite everything, but have been feeling low the last few weeks, mainly following what would have been our 20th anniversary...

Both kids under care of CAMHS, trying to work out where OH will live etc etc. So much ongoing...

Kids gone now.

I'm here if you need to talk

Thank you so much.

My friends think I'm so lucky having kid free time, but I'm heartbroken.

I've no idea where the last hour went. I'm going to drag myself out to get a nice microwave dinner and chocolate. It's like walking through treacle.

Hope you got something lovely for your dinner.

I know what you mean, when mine used to go to their dads, I'd run round for the first hour tidying away the mess, then I'd really miss them.

Everything is such a mess

It sounds like an incredibly tough time. When I've felt like everything was too much and I had nowhere to turn I've found calling the Samaritans helpful (you don't have to be suicidal, they are there to listen however you're feeling). Their number is 116 123.
Hugs to you.

Thanks Karine. I'm pretty sure I've made the right decision regarding OH but I'm finding coping with end of a 20 year marriage almost unbearable after a v traumatic 5 years

Just getting worse

thinking of you