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Original poster

How, just how, do you keep going?

79 replies

colouringinagain · 25/10/2017 23:25

Tonight, and many nights recently I feel like falling asleep and just not waking up. I'm so exhausted emotionally, mentally, tomorrow already makes me feel exhausted.

OP posts:
millifiori · 28/10/2017 11:42

Just clear a small space at table or on the sofa for you and your friend to have a cup of tea or coffee. Tell them you're struggling a lot. If it's a good friend ask a favour and ask if they would wash up or run a hoover round.

It's easy to forget that depression is a very physical illness. It creates chronic fatigue. Try and explain that to your friend if you can.

When is DD's birthday? Buy a cake. Buy a couple of things you know she wants online with speedy delivery. Buy gift bags from the Poundshop if you have one nearby, so you don't even have to wrap.

Original poster
colouringinagain · 28/10/2017 11:44

My body won't let me get into today

OP posts:
Original poster
colouringinagain · 28/10/2017 11:44

She is a good friend

OP posts:
ChinUpChestOut · 30/10/2017 10:35

colouring how did Saturday go? Did you manage to get up and get your DCs?

And how is it today? Think you could make that call for a Dr's appointment to talk about some different anti-depressants?

Original poster
colouringinagain · 30/10/2017 11:20

I rang the gp and my brilliant doc is on holiday this week.

I wanted to ask her to sign off some blood tests to check my ferritin (which has given me similar symptoms in the last when vvv low) and vitamin d.

I don't know what to do now.

ExDH has moved in temporarily to help with kids which helps practically nut is a headfuck.

My mind is all over the place today, feels like it's going to explode.

Do I ring the dog back and ask to speak to a random doc???

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Original poster
colouringinagain · 30/10/2017 11:21

No I didn't manage I've been sooooo wiped out.

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Original poster
colouringinagain · 30/10/2017 11:26

Rang back. Got to to ring back after 1.30 and they'll fit me in with someone.

Feel bad about nit being at work too. Plus I enjoy it and it's a good distraction for my crazy brain.

Really hope I can see someone nice

OP posts:
ChinUpChestOut · 30/10/2017 11:47

Hi colouring. You've made 2 phone calls today already which is a very proactive step to make towards getting yourself back in the right place. Try not to engage too much with ex-DH so he doesn't mess with your head, but at least he's helping out practically which will help you and the DC.

Don't feel bad about not being at work - your mental well-being is just as important as having physical health. You can't work properly if you can't concentrate or focus, so your dr's appointment is all about getting you back to where you should be.

I hope you see someone nice, too. In case they're a bit rushed (you know how sometimes they rush through in an appointment when they have too many patients), you could try making a list of all the things you're feeling, what you want your ADs to do and what your last ones did when you upped the dose. Then at least you could look at the list and know that you're giving all the information that you can. You'll get a feeling of organisation, too. Smile

I also think being able to post online shows that you're still engaging with the world. You've got a fighter's instinct in you. Keep posting, I'll be following you and see how you're doing.

Original poster
colouringinagain · 30/10/2017 13:42

Got to go to Docs at 5 and wait...

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Original poster
colouringinagain · 30/10/2017 21:08

Saw doc, he immediately signed me off for two weeks with exhaustion, set up a load of bloodtests and made an appointment with my own gp next Monday (which is great as she's v popular)

Big relief. Emailed boss who was v cool. TV fest coming...

OP posts:
Leamington99 · 31/10/2017 07:13

Just wanted to say it’s so great that you went to the doctors and had blood tests arranged, hopefully they’re checking your vitamin d levels as it can be such a contributing factor to feeling awful, constantly exhausted and in a never ending cycle. I feel so much better now that I’m taking supplements, it’s like the cloud has been lifted!

Original poster
colouringinagain · 31/10/2017 10:46

Thanks Leamington, hoping there's something like that going on, though wouldn't be surprised if "life" has caught up with me too.

Need to get off sofa and get bloods done, but still feel sooo totally exhausted Sad

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Leamington99 · 01/11/2017 05:11

Please go to a walk in centre today and get your bloods done! You will be so happy you did later Smile I wasn’t even going to go the day I got mine and literally went 10 minutes before they closed, so I understand. But get it out of the way, it’s the first step to recovery!

LEMtheoriginal · 01/11/2017 05:37

Hello colouring. Ahh man - I was sorry to see you are struggling. Honestly life can be a fucker sometimes. I'm up and down just now as you know

It sounds like you have so much to cope with. Hopefully getting some rest will help.

Sorry I can't say more just now - in a bad place myself Flowers

sadcaptains · 01/11/2017 07:30

How are you doing OP?

Hugs, LEMtheoriginal Flowers

LardLizard · 01/11/2017 08:04

You can do this op, you might st times think you can’t be you really honesty can
I sometimes think of that Churchill saying
When your going through hell, just keep going
Wishing you all the best be kind to yourself and see all thesteps you Are taking

Original poster
colouringinagain · 01/11/2017 12:27

lem Flowers and unmumsnetty hugs. Sorry to hear things are tough, hope it improves

leamington I did get my bloods done, even the phlebotomist asked if I was ok.

Thanks lizard. Just feel like my body has gone on strike. Thinking about anything I need to do or is going on with my dcs instantly makes me feel like I can't breathe...

Managed to dragmyself out of bed at 10.30 Hmm need to try and make that earlier as it makes going to sleep harder.

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Original poster
colouringinagain · 01/11/2017 14:32

Going to the supermarket shouldn't make you cry Sad

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LEMtheoriginal · 01/11/2017 17:45

No it shouldn't - I know how that feels though. I'm not on meds just now and find that rescue remedy helps - just takes the edge off

MNHQ
ToniMumsnet · 01/11/2017 18:51

We'll be moving this thread to Mental Health soon.

Original poster
colouringinagain · 01/11/2017 22:11

Thanks Tonimumsnet

lem I'd almost weaned myself off them but then OH went massively manic, delusional, psychotic so I went back on. Now wondering if I should temporarily up them!

Turns out that a Lot of my mh difficulties in the past were due to living with undiagnosed OH with bipolar 1 and aspergers traits HmmConfused

Unfortunately I think the last three years trauma is now catching up with me. Both dcs under CAMHS too.

Need to make something to look forward to!

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Original poster
colouringinagain · 02/11/2017 18:36

Has anyone else experienced this feeling of "jelly legs"?

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LardLizard · 03/11/2017 10:09

Personally I don’t agree wth moving these threads to the mental health section to me that sucks of trying to hide these things always nd sweep them under the carpet

You don’t really get the traffic the op might need hidden in the corner

Original poster
colouringinagain · 05/11/2017 21:27

Thanks lizard it was me, feeling conspicuous and thread quiet in chat.

My head is fucked

OP posts:
Jenala · 05/11/2017 21:36

Hope you're doing ok this eve OP