How, just how, do you keep going?

[colouringinagain]

Tonight, and many nights recently I feel like falling asleep and just not waking up. I'm so exhausted emotionally, mentally, tomorrow already makes me feel exhausted.

Hang in there colouring. Speaking of such - do you get to do much of that these days?

My not quite x here to help out for a week. Kids sooooo happy. Why can't I be myself when he's around? Hardly speak v grumpy dd asking am I ok. He's being completely reasonable, fine, kids had loads of fun with fireworks... I just can't handle him being around. My dh of 20 years.

Because he has put you through the wringer that's why. Ok he has MH issues so maybe he can't help it but that doesn't lessen the impact on you. It's ok to feel this way. It's good that you are both able to put your children's needs first. Do you think he would like to come back or are you both clear that you are exes? No wonder your head is fucked?

He'd like to.come back and the kids would looooooove to have him.back. I keep trying to think I could.do it but I can't bear it then I think maybe I'm just no good at relationships. I struggle with friendships