Managed to call the dr - not sure I'll make it

[madcatsforever]

Hi

Thanks to those who replied yesterday. I managed to build up the courage to call the doctors and have an appointment on Monday.

It feels quite a long way off, I'm not sure how I'm going to get through these next few days.

I've self harmed so much I'm struggling to hide the marks, I'm so scared of anyone seeing and having to explain it.

Things are so hard at home, I hate being here yet can't stand going out either.

I desperately want to end it all, put an end to the misery once and for all. I'm scared to try as I know I'll fail again. It's all too much.

madcats only one more sleep until you get your appointment. Ive been where you are many times. I haven't been in a dark place for TEN years. There are so many variables but I hope I give you some hope x

Hi Op

Just offering a handhold you've been here before, you can and will get through this.

Monday is just around the corner now!

Thank you so much to everyone who has helped me get to this morning, I really appreciate it more than you'll ever know.

Last night I disappeared for a bit as I'd drank far too much and passed out drunk - not ideal but it got me to this morning.

2 hours until my appointment and I'm already shaking and sweating, I hope I can explain how hard things have been :/

Could you write a note OP? Sometimes it can be hard to voice what you need when you most need it. You may not even need to use the note but it will be like having a plan b just in case you get too anxious.

Anyway, I am glad you made it and hope you get the help you need

Good luck today hunny bun, much love to you 💟 xx

I wrote a note and it helped massively. Well done for getting through last night and I hope you get what you want and need today.

I show my MN threads to HCP sometimes. On the mobile version of the site, the bits that I wrote come up with a background of pinkish purple. I just say "this is me". For some reason I am articulate on here when I am clamming up in person.

This might work for you?

Stay strong OP. You can do this.

Hi All,

I went to my GP, didn't manage to tell her everything but what I did say was enough to get some support in place. Wasted most of the appointment just crying :'(

Within 40 mins of leaving the surgery I had a call from CMHT and spent half an hour having a long chat with them, they've given me an appointment tomorrow for a fuller assessment with the same team that I was with last year. They have all my previous notes and so I don't have to start from scratch with them which is a relief.

I feel a bit better knowing that people are now aware of how I'm feeling - including my mum and my husband. There's the start of a plan in place and hopefully they can guide me through it

Thank you all so much for your support ❤️

Well done MadCats you are so strong for taking that first step.

Well done Madcats brilliant that you're now getting some support in place. Take care.

Well done! The first step is always the hardest. Omwards and upwards from here!

Well done. That's huge and very hard step taken. You are strong.

Well done hunny, baby steps remember. Go at your own pace and stay strong xx

So glad you went to the doctors and now have support in place @madcatsforever . Can't have been at all easy. Hope they put some good plans in place for support after your assessment tomorrow

WEll done! Keep your chin up. You will be ok x

That's really impressive madcats Feel really proud that you're looking after yourself and hang on in there and get the support you deserve.

Hi everyone am only new on here just need help and advise on moving from Liverpool to Birmingham, priority being good primary schools and nice area for younger family.thanks in ad.xx

@Mumjojo1

Hi there hun, you can create your own posts by going into thread topics and creating a brand new post in the appropriate area. Welcome to Mumsnet xx

@Mumjojo1

www.mumsnet.com/Talk

Thanks H sorry not sure how to do it lol.

Thanks H.xxx

How are you doing madcats?

Hi Everyone,

Sorry for not updating sooner, things seem to have moved quickly - I'm trying to catch up

I had my full assessment yesterday which was long and quite distressing, but in a way I do feel a little calmer now that it's all out there. They agreed that I need to come back into services for a while and said that someone would call me today.

My care co-ordinator has already called this morning and it's the same CPM I was seeing previously. It's much less daunting knowing that I'll be seeing a familiar face. We had a catch up by phone and I'll be seeing her in person on Monday. I'm seeing my GP again on Friday so won't have any long gaps without contact and I have all the details for the crisis team if I need them.

I wish I could say I feel better, I don't. But at least I feel a bit safer knowing that people are looking out for me.

Thank you all again for supporting me over the last week :)

Hi Madcats I'm so glad to hear that you're feeling a little calmer, that in itself is a step forward. So glad that you are getting the support you need to help you get well and that you will be seeing your familiar CPM.
Take care x