Small steps support thread?

[Soddingepiphany]

I was thinking of making some small changes to try to get on top of my anxiety and wondered if anyone wanted to join me? Just recently my anxiety has gone through the roof and I have given myself gastritis with all the stressing, the anxiety is starting to feel overwhelming so I NEED to be proactive, not something that will come easily when I just want to curl up in a ball and hide from the world!

My plan for this morning is to actually eat even though I feel sick. Then I will get dressed and take my toddler and dog for a walk. My longer term plan is to get on my cross trainer regularly, do some of that mindful colouring (I thought it was a faddy thing but it does help me stop thinking for a while), and to take it one day at a time!

If anyone wants to join me please do.

Of course and welcome!!! Hand holding and support is always here. I don't get health anxiety but any anxiety is unpleasant!!! I was in a worse place a few weeks back and understand the tmi very well. Are the betablockers helping??

Not sure how bad it would be without the blockers but I'm not doing great at the moment.
Took me ages to just take the dc to the park across the street even with my mil there, so paranoid about needing the loo or having the awful insides falling out feeling. Seem to spend all my time just trying to hold it together and failing miserably, exhausted. Ringing my dr to beg for a gynae referral tomorrow

Hi bigfatmeanie

Health anxiety sounds so, so hard. Does your MIL know and is she understanding? Is your GP supportive?

I am doing OK today, had a tough weekend but back at home now, doing hobby today, seeing familiar faces, getting through.

I agree with Joto RE iPhone games. I was skeptical for ages then found a genre of iPhone games that I love and worked my way through seemingly all of them in the app store. It helped masses! Not candy crush but some more soothing and less garish games. Whatever works, I say.

all.

MiL had a nervous breakdown years ago so think she gets it even though she's a bit full on with the unwanted advice 🙄
Dr called and they're going to examine me again in a week and decide whether to refer. Basically blaming everything on my anxiety, just decided to do what I can by myself in terms of self care, exercise etc and hope it all works out

Well what a crap day. Sounds like the job I went for and got was over egged and im an assistant with no responsibility and as line manager said today there wont be enough work after the busy period. Why the hell employ me then???!!! I'm angry but also my anxiety levels are up and I feel really low.

Bigfatmeanie good that they may refer - keep up the small steps until then.

Xxx

Hi Bigfatmeanie, health anxiety is really horrible so you have my sympathies, hopefully you get a referral and can get yourself on the mend.

Sorry about the job Joto, that's really crap of them!

I have an exam coming up soon which has me pretty anxious but I am determined not to let my anxiety have an impact (or at least not too much) on how well I do. I know this exam leads to the next course which leads to the next which leads to the career I really want and that is terrifying, I was pretty much a recluse and now I am aiming for a career?! I hope I'm not just kidding myself.

My anxiety isn't affecting me physically right now so I know it isn't too bad, I'm going to try to use this time for medium steps whilst making sure I don't let the small ones slide because that is the mistake I always make!

How is everyone else getting on with their small steps?

How is everyone??? Bank holiday and half term so I'm looking forward to lots of relaxing xxx hope you've been enjoying the sun xxx

Hi Joto, good here, have the anxiety under control at the moment so trying to make the most of it, had a major wobble earlier in the week though! How are you doing? Xx

Does anybody else get annoyed at people in your life (with no mental health problems) being inexplicably in a mood? I just want to grab them and scream "Do you have any idea what it takes to get this smile on my face? Can you even comprehend the hell I deal with? If I can make the best of things and try to maintain a happy exterior for those around me why the hell can't you get that stick out of your butt?!

Hi sodding! Sometimes yes 😁😁 my anxiety is back today - woke at 230am tense etc and this morning weepy. Checked period tracker app and yep I'm 4 days from period. So keeping a lid on the emotions by reminding myself it's bloody hormones. Cracking storms yesterday weren't they!!!!

Please can I join? Just started fluoxetine yesterday after years and years of terrible anxiety/depression. My problems are starting to affect my 3 yo Dd and living with a horrible angry, stressed mum like me must be terrible for her so I had to stop being scared and do something about it.

I have health anxiety also since my mum passed away from sudden heart failure 8 months ago. I am terrified I will drop dead like she did. I went to the GP with shortness of breath and heart palpitations (felt totally different to my usual anxiety related tight throat/chest and racing heart) convinced I have heart failure.

Day 2 of my meds and still convinced I have heart failure (still short of breath and can't breathe at times) so still feeling anxious. I know I need to be patient and wait for the tablets to kick in properly but it's hard

Hi everyone

bigfatmeanie I hear you on the unsolicited advice. Hope that you get the physical health stuff sorted out. Hang on in there and keep posting here for support if it helps 👍🏼

Joto Take care of yourself. That sounds shit RE job situation. I must get back to tracking my menstrual cycle. My period went AWOL during my most recent crisis and is erratic at the moment, it would be good to track it again. Thank you for reminding me!

Sodding I have the opposite to be honest. My MH struggles have made me more compassionate. Someone else's struggle is real to them, iyswim. What I do find aggregates me is when people say they know what I am going through or how I am feeling and then relate a period of feeling a bit low for a little while "but I never went to my doctor about it" or "but I never took any tablets" or "but I never needed counselling or anything like that" as if those are all terrible and shameful things to have done. I do not want to get into a game of "MH problems top trumps" but they really, really do know know what I am going through, they really, really don't. In my opinion there is zero shame in seeking help for the sake of one's mental health, and it takes a stronger person to admit to their own struggles than to claim that they are stronger by burying them.

Anyway...I am doing well at the moment. The news really shook me up and I had a terrible couple of days but that seems to have settled now. I am planning to return to work in July, I have a thread in Employment Issues about that which is really interesting actually, in helping me to see how MH stuff might be viewed from an HR/organisational perspective. Am staying with a friend this weekend which is lovey as I am lonely on my own in my flat - my DH has moved out at the moment and says he wants a divorce, not sure what will happen there but we are in the process of putting our flat on the market. So yes a lot going on really.

Anyway, I am going to drink some coffee and have some breakfast now.

Hi erinaceus thanks am trying. Really struggling at the moment - feeling very weepy and low. I also struggle with anxiety and eating (irrational as I love food) and that's not good at the minute probably due to feeling hormonally challenged. I'm sure it sort but I either spiral into a panic or feel like I just want the old me to emerge!!! You habe got a lot going on!

Hi bonniebel welcome - lovely place to be with lots of support. How are you today?

Bonnibel, how long have you been on the new medication?

Erin, I agree that it makes you more compassionate but sometimes when I'm on my knees but I'm doing it with a smile on my face for the sake of those around me I get pretty annoyed when someone projects a suffocating black mood, makes everyone around them miserable because they were a little stressed (dealing with the exact same stress as me) or they're hungry (when I've barely eaten because I can't stomach it) or they have a headache from sleeping to long (I've barely slept and frequently have a tension headache).

Most of the time I get on with it, I've been doing it for over ten years, I do it with positivity and sheer determination, I sometimes think to myself "What would it be like if my childhood had been different, if I didn't have MH issues?" and I get jealous of those around me who can't even comprehend it, who will never know how horribly hard it is.

Hi Small Steppers

I hope that you are all having a weekend of small steps.

Soddingepiphany Ah, that is the difference. I make no effort to have a smile on my face for the sake of those around me. I wonder if I am one of those people projecting a suffocating black mood and making everyone around me miserable. It seems unlikely, but it is possible. I do try not to get into a game of misery top trumps, but I do not always manage.

I sometimes think to myself "What would it be like if my childhood had been different, if I didn't have MH issues?" and I get jealous of those around me who can't even comprehend it, who will never know how horribly hard it is.

My experience is that people are more understanding than I would have thought. I try not to over-share, but I am sometimes less successful on this especially if I am stressed. I do not get on with it with positivity though. I am not a particularly positive person. Tenacity, though, yes, I have tenacity.

Anyway, I fucking hate terrorist attacks, they shake me a lot. I plan to see some friends this afternoon and this evening. This morning I need to do some paperwork for the sale of the flat in which I live. The flat is being marketed at the moment which means I feel as if I need to do the washing up every morning before I go out, and make the bed. I am not cut out for domestics, really I am not. Plus the Estate Agent told me that viewings are easier if I am not there so I keep having to turf myself out of my own home. It is all a bit stressful. I hope that it is not too long before we get an offer that we agree to accept. The flat has only been on the market since last week and we have had a steady stream of viewings so I am not worried about it. It's a PITA though.

Hi everyone

It's been a stressful week, I had to sit an exam on Tuesday and the anxiety leading up to it was quite intense but I think it went ok.

The family drama continues it is my OH's family though so I can't step in the way I'd like and I would really bloody like to because I am sick of the upset and stress it's causing him.

My OH is currently in the middle of a week off and so far it's been dominated by exam nerves and family stress so I really want to make sure the second half is more relaxed and enjoyable.

Erin, how is the flat sale going?

How is everyone else getting on?

Doing so crap right now, I can't seem to get this anxiety under control. I have had four panic attacks in two days, I constantly feel like I'm on the verge of another one.

I need to get a handle on this but I don't even know where to start, I'm worried I might not be able to do it by myself this time.

Sodding is there anything I can do to help? I can throw suggestions at you but I am not sure that they will be helpful. The thing that kills panic dead for me is benzodiazepines but they do not work for everybody, and are highly habit-forming so not the best option if addiction is an issue for you.

I find camomile tea helpful, even though it is something of a mental health trope.

If you are not able to do it by yourself, what suppport is available to you?

I am having a lot of anxiety at the moment over returning to work. I have been on medical leave for some time due to my poor mental health. My employer are supportive but I have developed the belief that all of my colleagues hate me, which is not helpful Maybe they do but there is not a lot I can do about that.

Hi Erin, thanks for replying. Are benzodiazepines the same as diazepam? I have taken diazepam in the past and found it very helpful, I was considering going to the doctors to ask to be prescribed some.

I think I need to weigh up my options right now but I think a good start would be to actually take bloody care of myself, I literally run myself ragged and ignore feelings of anxiety until they get overwhelming. I think I am going to go to the doctors.

When will you be returning to work? Do you have a support system in place for it? I doubt your colleagues hate you and if they did that would make them complete jerks!

Yes, benzodiazepines are a class of medications of which diazepam is one. Typically a GP will only benzodiazepines in the short term due to the potential for abuse. I have not had problems stopping taking benzodiazepines but I am boringly responsible when it comes to prescription medications.

Self-care is a work in progress for me. What small step could you take today?

My colleagues are not in general jerks although some of them have their moments. Believing that they hate me is clearly symptomatic of my own grandiosity.

Yes, I have support from Occupational Health in terms of my return to work. They have been excellent and practical as well. I feel fortunate as I understand that this does not always happen for employees who have MH difficulties.

It's great that you have support, I hope it helps. When do you return to work?

I was so careful with Diazepam even when a particularly drug happy Doctor offered to up my dose for no reason I said no.

I think I just need to recognise that I have an anxiety condition and that it's ok to take care of myself every now and then but I am truly appalling at self care, especially when I need it most. I grew up in an environment where my needs didn't matter, they were sneered at so I still find it hard to take care of myself without feeling selfish or self indulgent.

I took the dog for a walk to get some head space and I think I am on the right track, just acknowledging that the anxiety is getting to be too much is something, now I need to learn that it's not something I can simply shoulder without repercussions.

Thank you for talking to me Erin, it's quite often easier to think clearly when you're able to talk about the anxiety.

Benzodiazepines are functionally not that far off alcohol in terms of mechanism of action. In terms of habit-forming potential they are similar as well. A tolerance can develop over time and a higher and higher dose is needed to achieve the same anti-anxiety effect.

In my experience the dose I need titrates with the anxiety, therefore using it sooner rather than later keeps the dose lower because untreated anxiety can escalate. I usually try non-medical strategies first but find that diazepam works when nothing else will. In the end it is your choice.

I took a course in self-care.

I would imagine that the dog appreciated the walk.

I return to work week after next.

Can I ask where you found the course on self-care?

You can. I will PM if that's okay?

Yes please, if you wouldn't mind, thank you.