Small steps support thread?

[Soddingepiphany]

I was thinking of making some small changes to try to get on top of my anxiety and wondered if anyone wanted to join me? Just recently my anxiety has gone through the roof and I have given myself gastritis with all the stressing, the anxiety is starting to feel overwhelming so I NEED to be proactive, not something that will come easily when I just want to curl up in a ball and hide from the world!

My plan for this morning is to actually eat even though I feel sick. Then I will get dressed and take my toddler and dog for a walk. My longer term plan is to get on my cross trainer regularly, do some of that mindful colouring (I thought it was a faddy thing but it does help me stop thinking for a while), and to take it one day at a time!

If anyone wants to join me please do.

Morning all,

hayley hope you feel okay today if sleep was difficult.

My haircut was lovely, thanks for asking.

sodding thanks for understanding about the guilt thing. It can overwhelm me sometimes. I marvel at how other people manage to balance self-care with caring for others.

Another thing I am struggling with is figuring out what self-care means to me. I don't like baths, candles or manicures which seem to be common suggestions I do love getting my haircut though so I guess that's a start? The whole concept boggles my mind at the moment.

I rate yoga too, I am fussy about which style of yoga and picky about my teacher, but I find it helps me. I have not tried CBT for anxiety, but I know other people for whom it works wonders. I find counseling okay for addressing specific shirt-term problems but not for deep-rooted stuff. I find medication helpful as a short term treatment if the physical symptoms of anxiety are totally disabling me; almost equally effective is colouring in or drawing(!) which can be odd if I'm trying to do something and have to colour in for a bit to calm me down I have a doodling app on my phone in case I start to struggle when I'm out and about

The other thing that helped me was getting to grips with the physiology of anxiety. There are a number of physical symptoms I have had for as long as I can remember which I never connected with anxiety until I came across some information on now anxiety is connected to physiology. Now I am able to connect the anxiety to the physical symptoms and vice-versa and this helps me to tolerate the physical symptoms. Not sure if that makes sense? I am someone who likes to understand things which is why I think that being informed like this was so transformative for me.

No idea if that helps anyone else! Am going to th swimming pool this morning, self-care for the day. The fair sounds lovely hayley, happy Easter weekend

Erin I know what you mean about the physical effects. I get a racing heart, can't breathe, feel sick and I shake.

Janine I've been feeling like this about a week. Found out I was pregnant end of march. I'm just terrified of getting morning sickness and panicking. Especially as I have a very high pressure job. I have to fly to California soon for meetings and then red eye to NY where I will need to give 2 big presentations. I get homesick panic and jet lag doesn't help.

Can't tell my work because they are definitely discriminatory in their views (American male dominated company who think all U.K. Women take a year off).
I'll have to take 26 weeks only to protect my job and come in twice a month on KIT days. I don't want to stay home longer than that anyway but I'm already worrying about the impact. Luckily my DH is taking 26 weeks SPL after me and then he will probably quit work or go part time.

Ok., got to try and eat breakfast ..

Grumpy I find the physical shaking horrible. Did you manage to eat something?

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Navigating the different attitudes towards work in the USA and U.K. has been a challenge for me in my work life. It sounds as if you and your DH have a plan in place in terms of the leave itself. I have never been pregnant so I don't know what to say that might be supportive around that, apart from take care of yourself as best you can. I find international work travel grueling at the best of times. Sending

Thanks Erin I have eaten 2 slices of toast and a bit of cheese. Didn't enjoy it but hey. Trying to decide whether to go back to sleep or go out to the shops. Need some more food and I'm home alone today. So will need to go out at some point.

Well done Squirrel! I managed a couple of weetabix.

I had to get up early to give my son a lift. After breakfast I went back to sleep on the sofa. I've missed a lot of sleep over the past week so I think my body needs to catch up.

Grumpy and NotJanine that makes three of us who managed breakfast then Hope the sleep helps you feel better NotJanine; hope today goes okay Grumpy.

Thank you for the support. I'm in town and managed a pret herb salad avocado wrap and a bit of mango. Yay! Still anxious but not as bad as it has been. Taking it very slowly. Home for a nap soon I think 😴

Well done squirrel.

I felt slightly better earlier but have been crying for a while on and off since. My DCs are away tonight, so I'll be on my own.

Another anxious bod checking in if I may 😊 im avtially feeling a lot calmer this afternoon but its just lurking in the wings! I'm off to Wales tomorrow and over the last couple of years have started with being away from home anxiety which is crap but I'm sure as heck not letting it stop me. It's got worse the older I get and seems related to hormonal changes. I do find self care is a good thing - don't feel guilty ladies you are worth it. I'm just laying in bed chilling listening to Spotify whilst hubby is packing some stuff. I'll help shortly but for now I'm here cuddling the dog!!!! Grumpy that wrap sounds delicious 😊😊

Erin, I find colouring and doodling so helpful too, it's odd that such a simple thing can be so helpful but I think it just gets you out of your head long enough to slow things down. I can really relate to understanding the physiology aspect of panic attacks too, once I read about all the different ways a panic attack and anxiety manifests physically they weren't terrifying anymore. My main self-care thing is walking my dog I have come to realise in the past week, probably not what most people would class as self-care but it works for me so I'll go with it

Hayley, how was the fair? We went to the zoo today and my toddler doesn't walk he full on sprints everywhere so I'm bloody shattered!

NotJanine, how are you doing? I know sometimes crying helps and sometimes it just sucks.

TheGrumpy, how did your nap go? Are you managing to eat? It must be hard work having to deal with everything you've got on your plate right now and even though that's when we should be making sure to take care of ourselves it often when we don't.

Joto, that's a really good attitude to have did you help with packing or continue cuddling the dog? (I definitely would of just kept cuddling the dog!)

Janine sorry you have been feeling down. I always feel low when my DD is away. Hope you are ok tonight. Sending hugs

Thanks epiphany I have been eating more normally since 3-4pm when the dizzy weird feeling cleared. I had some pizza for dinner!

Just picked up my wonderful DD from the station and at 12yrs old we still cosleep when DH is away, which is lovely. I bet it doesn't last much longer, so I'm enjoying it while she still wants to cuddle me. She's excited about the new little bean, too.

A big part of this anxiety is me getting my head around being pregnant again. I've no idea why it's freaking me out so much - I thought I'd be taking it in my stride! I had an easy pregnancy last time. But yes the work pressure doesn't help. Crossing my fingers so hard that I escape nausea on the plane journeys.

Good night all x

Joto I hope you enjoy your holiday. I love wales! I do relate to the homesick panic though - I get it too.

Hi all. After a wonderful.evening I'm really struggling with anxiety now which is so annoying and I think it must be the holiday. I can't think of anything else It's waking me from my sleep so I'm going to get the sleep meditation on to try help.

How did the sleep meditation go joto? Is that an app you have on your phone? I could do with something like that after another sleepless night.

Hi Hayley yes I use calm app or headspace. I managed sleep but have woken up and the anxiety is awful this morning. I feel really teary along with awful tingly head and body. Yesterday afternoon and evening i felt so much more positive it's so frustrating.

Sorry to hear that joto. To help the panic when away I use a mind trick - that if I like, i can go home whenever I want. Even when i was abroad if I felt that bad I decided I could just buy a plane ticket home. Once you've really given yourself the option, staying and maybe even enjoying it doesn't seem as scary x

Thanks squirrel - I have to face this and I know I will. The anticipation is probably worse than the actual. I used to be confident and I have no idea what happened to me. It's just turned into a big mess.

You can get better again. It takes practice. And being very gentle with yourself. I used to cry at the thought of getting on an aeroplane weeks in advance and have to drug myself to the eyeballs. Now I can do short haul drug free. I don't love it, but I'm not a quivering mess anymore. Do you do any yoga? I swear by it for getting myself out of my head.

Thank you. I am my own worst enemy I expect to be better now! I did used to do mindful yoga but the lady doing it passed away sadly and they got a new teacher who did another type which I find too frantic. I'll take a look online and see if I can find anything because I did really enjoy it. I think it might be time to get my head round some meds in the short term to level me a little.

sodding pets are great for self-care for many people. I'm thinking about getting one, although probably not a dog.

Joto I used to do yoga years ago and am planning to get back into it. For me the teacher is really important otherwise I cannot face the classes. Some people find yoga videos helpful, although I've never tried that.

I went to the swimming pool today. Slowly, slowly for me. It was lovely.

Joto, remember to be patient and gentle with yourself, imagine you were helping someone who was in your situation and treat yourself with all the kindness you would show them, don't be your own worst enemy try being your own best friend instead.

Erin, I haven't been swimming in years, I bet it is really relaxing. A cat would probably make a very good furry little valium too :) I always thought cats were bossier than dogs but my little Shi Tzu is actually quite high maintenance in a very diva-esque type way

Hi everyone not had chance to read the entire thread but I too suffer with unbearable anxiety. I've had a lot of CBT and currently trying mindfulness meditation. I'll read the rest of the thread later (at work at the mo). Xx

Morning all. So here I am in Wales. I got here and I'm so bloody proud of myself. It was hard work but I did it! Thank you for those words epiphany they made me cry but you are so so right. Once I let go and stop fighting myself and realise this will take time it'll help. I've been through so much I need time to heal. The mist is on top of the mountains this morning it really is beautiful. Xxx

Jojo congratulations on getting to Wales! Sounds really beautiful.

Sodding Swimming is a sort of spiritual thing for me. I'm glad I made myself go even though it was a challenge to get there. I hate it so much when things I used to do with ease have become difficult for me to do. I have to go very slowly with myself, and I am not a patient person!

On pets, I'll probably start with a small furry. I know how to look after them and I find the routine they need to be calming. I've had them in the past.

gemsparkle84 welcome to the thread.

Today I plan to meet someone for lunch and they have agreed to help me with something. I find asking for help difficult so even asking them was a challenge!