Small steps support thread?

[Soddingepiphany]

I was thinking of making some small changes to try to get on top of my anxiety and wondered if anyone wanted to join me? Just recently my anxiety has gone through the roof and I have given myself gastritis with all the stressing, the anxiety is starting to feel overwhelming so I NEED to be proactive, not something that will come easily when I just want to curl up in a ball and hide from the world!

My plan for this morning is to actually eat even though I feel sick. Then I will get dressed and take my toddler and dog for a walk. My longer term plan is to get on my cross trainer regularly, do some of that mindful colouring (I thought it was a faddy thing but it does help me stop thinking for a while), and to take it one day at a time!

If anyone wants to join me please do.

Morning Joto, I have read somewhere vitamin B is good for hormone imbalances. I think it's B6. Hope your bath made you feel better.

Hi Janine - going to walk dog in a lovely forest we found first and then bath time!!! Yes we've had counselling and it was helpful. Focussed on building things moving forward and communication etc. My issue is I'm fixing on what he did and wanting to know why (even though he has been honest) and I need to let it go. He is trying so hard and I know finds it difficult to see me in such distress but I'm sure he also feels very guilty. Xx

Hopefully the EMDR will be helpful for you. The psychologist I'm seeing has described to me how these thoughts need to be dealt with and kind of filed away in the correct part of the brain. At the moment they are stuck in the wrong part and keep popping up, the brain thinks there is a threat and responds accordingly - all the anxiety symptoms. Trying to block the thoughts will not work as they need to be processed.

My problems also stem from deceit/infidelity, although I am now separated and in the middle of a divorce.

Sorry to hear that Janine xx I sometimes wonder if that may have been easier than the constant reminder. Xx I didn't deal with the car accident just got on with driving as i had to though I suppose that is dealing with it. I'm looking forward to the session. Anyway found the most beautiful waterfall hidden in the forest. Lovely xxx

So these small steps (Making sure I eat and trying to just look at things in a more positive and relaxed way) have definitely helped me get through a rubbish couple of days without anxiety making things worse. I think I realised recently after a pretty bad patch and really making myself ill with anxiety that I had to change, I had to look at things differently, I had to be responsible for how I react to everyday stresses and realise that my state of mind is a choice. I spent so much of my life with anxiety because of issues while I was growing up but I dealt with that so I can let go of the anxiety too. Small steps, re-learning how to be happy, taking it one day at a time, hell some days I'll take it an hour at a time! My plan for this morning is to just to potter about in between playing with my toddler, I'll do what housework I can and not worry about the rest.

How is everyone doing this morning?

What a wonderful piece of writing and I agree!!!! I want to be rid of my anxiety now but I need to do it bit by bit!!! Sounds like a plan to me - mine is to get my hubby on the zipwire (I wonder if he's insured 😂😂😂) and eat better (does last night's left over curry count?) I'm helping him with an assignment too so keeping myself busy. Dog has been walked xx I slept better last night too

I'm not doing too bad thi smorning. Going out for a meal tonight, so hoping that will be good and keep my mind occupied with fun stuff.

Joto - I love waterfalls, whereabouts are you?

North Snowdonia - found another one this morning - hope you can see the picture!!!

Oh Joto, that is stunning! Glad you slept better, do you feel better for it?

NotJanine, hope you have a nice meal and enjoy yourself.

Definite improvement in my mood today, I put on some music while I cleaned the kitchen, I sang and danced and ended up jumping up and down just to see how high I could jump! I haven't been in such a good mood and had so much energy for I can't even remember how long! I like this small steps thing or maybe it was the probiotic I took today? But I literally just started taking them today so I doubt they'd have an effect so soon? Well whatever the reason it is bloody good to feel happy again and even if it doesn't last it doesn't matter because if I did it today I can do it again.

I have felt much better thank you. At one point I was a bit like where has the anxiety gone?? But then I just enjoyed the day. Still not eating right but im sure that will improve slowly. I love dancing and music while I'm cleaning. I have a playlist on Spotify just fir it with lots of cheesy tunes and 70s disco 😂😂 probiotics are good keep drinking them!!! You'll be high jumping soon 😉😉 small steps are brilliant xxx

Morning everyone. My anxiety hasn't been too bad the last couple of weeks apart from night times, I think because the kids have been off school so everything's felt more relaxed but I can feel it starting to creep back in every time I think about an upcoming 60th birthday party that my fil is having next Saturday. He's having it at his home and about 60 people will be attending. I've always struggled with big gatherings like this but feeling even more unconfident because I've put a lot of weight on recently since taking certain medications and not getting out to exercise as much. Any tips on getting through the next week and surviving the party?

Hi Hayley, is there anything you've done in the past that you've found helpful? Any techniques? I've had really low confidence about my appearance due to some wankturd making it their mission to destroy my self-esteem but I realised that every flaw that I saw was magnified hugely in my own eyes and that other people didn't see me anywhere near how I saw myself, I had a very skewed perspective of myself, please don't do that to yourself Hayley!

I know it sounds simple but pamper yourself, do your nails, hair, make-up whatever boots your self-esteem, blast some music (Sia - Unstoppable is a good one).

I know social situations can be really hard and I used to spend all my time staring at the floor willing it to end but now nobody would of ever guessed I had social anxiety and that's because I decided "f*ck it! I won't let my self esteem affect me like this" and weirdly enough because I decided to just get on in spite of my low self esteem and not let it hold me back it is hardly an issue for me anymore.

Thanks sodding. I think that's part of the problem, instead of getting on with it I've been avoiding but this I can't. I'm sure once I've pampered myself I'll be feeling more confident and after I've had a few drinks at the party my anxiety will lessen. Sorry to hear someone tried to destroy your self esteem but really pleased it didn't work.

Hello all! How is everyone? Ive gad a crappy day because of the foggy spaced feeling which didn't lift til about 6pm. Back at work so back to the awful drive 😣😣

Hi Joto

I'm doing well. I've got masses going on at the moment. I've got to make some big decisions in the coming weeks and months, and am finding that people I talk to keep giving me advice and suggestions. It's all meant well but all the different opinions and ideas are not helping me to make my own decisions. My head is spinning .

I'm trying to stay centred in the middle of it all with a lot of camomile tea and the odd bit of yoga and so on, but it's not easy.

hayley - one strategy I've used in the past is to allow myself to temporarily check out of social situations if my anxiety levels are rising. For example, go outside for fifteen minutes or find a quiet corner to sit in. You can make an excuse such as needing to make a phone call, or just go. Will you have someone understanding with you or on the end of a phone line in case you need reassurance? This is a strategy that works for me. I've also left events early before if I'm not feeling great, this depends on the circumstances/practicalities/transport situation but knowing I can always leave helps me to not feel trapped.

Good luck all

Thanks erinaceus, those are some good tips. My dp will be with me for support and I'll have the dcs too so can always use the excuse they're tired if I need to leave early, hopefully they won't look up and say no were not! Good luck with your big decisions you have to make. Sorry to hear you had a crappy day joto, mine started off bad but once I did my zumba class I felt much better afterwards. I'm staying home to paint dds bedroom today, that should keep the anxiety at bay for a while. Hope today is better for you.

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't checked in, the anxiety has been kicking my butt and I had a horrible panic attack the night before last that left me exhausted and pretty depressed, just trying to get back on track now.

Hi sodding must be something in the water cos mine is playing up too. I'm panicking I'm making the wrong decision about starting the new job even though it will be less stressful and much less of a commute. Then my appetite gets worse and off we go. I feel like an absolute space cadet sat at my desk!

And back with early morning waking 😡😡😡 managed to eat a weetabix then I really need to try sleep again. I feel like I'm losing control at the moment and it's scaring me. How can things be so different from one day to the next

Joto, did you manage to get some sleep? It sounds like we are in very similar positions at the moment!

Had a terrible first night in California. Stayed up till 7pm (3am uk time) but then struggled to sleep as felt sick and panicky. Had to walk around continuously to deal with it but was so tired. My sister was very sweet and rubbed my back and talked to me but every time I'd get to sleep I'd wake up in a panic shortly afterwards. Almost took a Valium but was too worried about it as I'm pregnant. Eventually got to sleep at midnight (8am uk) and just woke up (4:30am here). Hope tonight is better, my body just can't deal with jet lag.

Hi sodding yes I got back to sleep til 5 ish
Been a better day anxiety wise but bloody tired! Went to see a lady about EMDR today and boy did it open up some crap. Looking forward to the first proper session though 😊😊😊 how has your day been? How long are you there for grumpy???

Grumpy, how are you getting on with the jet lag?

Joto, when is your first proper session?

Does anybody else hate mornings? It seems every morning recently I wake up with horrible anxiety and have to deal with it before I can start the day, I'm completely lost as to how to sort this right now so it's small steps again for me. Today is make sure I eat as I let that slip a bit too much yesterday and I'm also going to sit and plan the rest of the week so I have things to focus on.

Joto - good to hear you are feeling positive about EMDR

Grumpy - I went to CA earlier this year for 6 days (was so lucky to get the chance to go) and I felt like I barely slept the whole time I was there! I think the jet lag travelling there is really awful. Hope you are feeling better now.

Sodding - yes mornings are bad. I think that is generally the worst time for most people. I always try and think of something good about the day ahead (can be as simple as something on telly that evening or something I'm going to eat). The world always feels like a more daunting place when you've just woken up. Try to keep things small and simple. Hope you're having a good day so far.

Hi all, happy to report a much better night's sleep. 9.30pm-4.30am and only woke up once. Got a full on work day today so no pool for me 😭 but think we are going to try and get to surf for a couple of hours tomorrow morning. Can't wait to start the weekend here!