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Original poster

im feeling overwhelmed by everything and feel i cant fit it all in one day

83 replies

happyfrown · 02/04/2017 11:30

my head is spinning with to do list and it making me feel so ill.
my home is usually clean, surface clean and pretty much organised. but I still feel I need to keep ontop of it. yesterday I did 3hrs of hovering, hovering the beds/bedding, under beds, skirtings, behind / under furniture, sofa, doors and doorframes, shelves.
came downstairs and cat is laying on the top of sofa so got him off and hovered it again. I managed to wash all the cupboard doors in the kitchen, surfaces, mop floors downstairs. polish. but u had to stop because I was exhausted and needed to put dinner on for dd.

I was so annoyed that I couldn't finish upstairs and worse that I - yet again - couldn't fit any exercise in. I started making my son a computer table which is nearly finished but I cant find time or energy to do it.

I woke up today thinking ill have to start from scratch with the hovering, cat hair everywhere! but then remembered id poly filled holes and dents in walls/doors and frames that still need to be sanded and painted. so should do this today before hovering, cleaning. just don't have the head for all of this, I couldn't even get off the sofa one day last week with all the dread of not being able to get it done. then cursing myself because I didn't get anything done and its another day wasted. Sad

probably makes not sense to any one I just need to offload.

OP posts:
NolongerAnxiousCarer · 02/04/2017 12:23

Take your foot off the accellerator, change down a gear. You don't need to do it all today. Unless you live in a mansion 3hrs hoovering seems a little excessive. I think you need to pace yourself or you will make yourself ill. Can you pick 1 or 2 things off your list to do today then 1 or 2 tomorrow? I know if I don't pace myself I can knock myself out completely for a week.

Cailleach · 02/04/2017 13:15

I hoover my house once a week, max. It takes about half an hour, tops.

Every three months I do a deeper clean. Who bothers hoovering that much every day?! It's totally pointless. No-one cares about dust on the door frames - how much will have settled in 24 hours anyway?

You don't need to spend so much time cleaning. A bit of cat hair won't hurt anyone.

Original poster
happyfrown · 02/04/2017 13:20

ive just sanded down the doors and walls will filer on. im just having my lunch then need to hoover up. Ive tried doing one room a day but then the room day before if full dust, hair and mess and need s doing again. everything needs washing, sofa, carpet, I done 2 bed covers yesterday, got 2 today. I need to paint the walls now ive filled and sanded but they need to be washed/wiped first. I don't know what order to do it in Sad its all too much but I cant leave it because its making me stress out that im not getting it done.

OP posts:
pileoflaundry · 02/04/2017 13:36

I know how you feel OP. No matter how hard you work, the to-do list just seems to get longer.
What would happen if you made a list of the jobs that you feel need doing at least once a week, or once a fortnight, and then did none of them for a week?
You have a cat, your house is meant to be hairy. It's normal.

NolongerAnxiousCarer · 02/04/2017 13:59

happyfrown do you have a tendancy to hypomania? You are sounding a little manic from here. Do you have anyone in RL to check in with regarding your mood?

boolifooli · 02/04/2017 14:39

happy that doesn't sound like normal housework stress. You've posted in MH so I'm guessing you're aware there's something else at play here to do with your mental health. Have you recently spoken to your GP about your anxiety?

Original poster
happyfrown · 02/04/2017 16:23

I couldn't not do it for a week, I keep adding things to list that need doing its not getting shorter! I called my sister to tell her to come and take him away, but i love my cat? she told me to hang on in but im getting frustrated too easy. no one really understands.

anxious my friend is on holiday for a month, no family. my sister lives 4hrs away but I don't often talk to her.

booli i posted here because i feel safe here i have borderline and on other boards i would sound crazy. im usually cleaning, keeping things in order i just feel i cant control the amount i need to get done.
im dreading the kids coming home they will just trash the place and i need to start again. the school is off for 2wks. without routine i know im going to crash Sad

OP posts:
boolifooli · 02/04/2017 16:26

Do you have a cpn? You've identified you're off kilter so give them a call and have a chat

Original poster
happyfrown · 02/04/2017 16:35

what's cpn?

i don't have no support from the mental health team. i used to go to mind regularly but the centre closed. i go therapy once a week for D.I.T but its not helping for this or moods. who can help?

OP posts:
IndigoCat · 02/04/2017 16:47

Hi, do you have plans for the kids for the holidays. It might help to be out the house with them if you can for a lot of the time.

IndigoCat · 02/04/2017 16:50

Also you seem to be doing a lot at once. Can you focus on working on just one area and ignore the rest. Or write it all down and try and pick tasks that would give you the most satisfaction ? And do that.

Oliversmumsarmy · 02/04/2017 16:56

I bet the kids would rather be out and about with you than you cleaning.

How old are your dc. Could they keep their rooms tidy themselves. If it not tidy then shut the door on their rooms.
You can tidy and hoover once per week
So what there is cat hair. Hoover a couple of times per week.
Walk away and save your family.

I say this as someone who is NC with her mother for similar stuff you are doing. I recognise the signs. You are asking for the family cat to be taken away because of cleaning the next in my case was to be put in and out of care because I created too much cleaning.

We never went anywhere because the thought of the dust settling drove my m to distraction and we would always have to come back.

I will assure you your dc will remember days out than whether skirting boards were painted and cleaned daily.

Keep kitchen and bathroom relatively ok. And the living room ok the rest can be left for a couple of weeks

Tip get rid of carpet when you do rooms and replace with wooden flooring or laminate. I don't own a hoover. A quick sweep round every so often does the trick.

I have 7 cats so fur balls are everywhere.

NolongerAnxiousCarer · 02/04/2017 17:30

Not sure what the best type of help/therapy would be best for this. Is it worth going to see your GP tomorrow if you feel a crisis coming on to see if theres anything they can do to help.

Taking the kids out sounds like it could be a plan then they won't be making mess at home.

I personally hate laminate, it shows every single speck of dust and fluff, it drives me mad and I'm someone who generally happily leaves all the cleaning for the weekend.

Oliversmumsarmy · 02/04/2017 18:00

But with laminate the op wouldn't be spending 3 hours per day hoovering. A quick sweep and done.

My m used to hoover the same spot over and over I wonder if this is what the op is doing

boolifooli · 02/04/2017 18:30

Hi happy. If I were you I would ring the community mental health team based at your local GP surgery and tell them what you've told us. It sounds like you would benefit from having a CPN pop in for a chat (community psychiatric nurse). This is very much the sort of thing they're for. Let us know how it goes and keep posting 💐

Original poster
happyfrown · 02/04/2017 18:30

haven't made any plans i don't go out much, dc are 15, 12 and 6.
dd will ask to go park every day but ds aint interested in the park, where can i take them? i find going out hard, i cant do cinema or packed places. cant travel too far i start to panic i cant get home. i don't drive either.

kids do suffer, they cant move without doing something wrong! it is my childhood repeated but i cant help it, i keep asking for the mental health to help but they don't.

i only have carpet on the stairs and hallway, the rest is lino flooring. the hair floats across the floor if it catches the wind.

OP posts:
Original poster
happyfrown · 02/04/2017 18:33

sorry i cross posted.
i will call my gp tomorrow, that would really help. i feel so alone and helpless. sometimes i know im doing it and other times i don't.

OP posts:
boolifooli · 02/04/2017 18:34

What county are you in happy? I could find some phone numbers for you.

boolifooli · 02/04/2017 18:37

Ah I can tell you feel quite isolated at the moment. Let me know if I can find any numbers for you happy. 🍫

Original poster
happyfrown · 02/04/2017 18:40

sometimes i feel like screaming because i know its damaging the kids but i cant stop, i cant change. i keep asking for help its been 7yrs and all i get is im anxious and should stop worrying, that im my own worse enemy and need to relax. i cant! they are not listening.

im going to end up with nothing.

OP posts:
Original poster
happyfrown · 02/04/2017 18:42

im in UK.

OP posts:
boolifooli · 02/04/2017 18:53

Hi happy, you'll need to explain this to the Community Mental Health Team. How it's affecting you and your quality of life. What county are you in the UK? It's obvious you've reached a point where you feel you want more support.

Original poster
happyfrown · 02/04/2017 19:04

yes uk. ive been asking for support forever. no ones listening even back in dec i called the people i have therapy with due to not being able to stop self harming. i had 2 leave dates planned Sad i couldn't do it. they arranged therapy but im just talking ? no techniques or methods to help my mind. when this finishes im discharged again. then i'll have to re- refer which took 2yrs to get this therapy.

OP posts:
boolifooli · 02/04/2017 19:08

Do you have the number for the CMHT?

QuiteLikely5 · 02/04/2017 19:10

Get rid of your cat? Sounds like you have OCD and need to speak to your GP so that you can receive help

When our problems impact on others especially our children then not doing anything about it is selfish

Tell your GP your issues are affecting your children