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Original poster

im feeling overwhelmed by everything and feel i cant fit it all in one day

83 replies

happyfrown · 02/04/2017 11:30

my head is spinning with to do list and it making me feel so ill.
my home is usually clean, surface clean and pretty much organised. but I still feel I need to keep ontop of it. yesterday I did 3hrs of hovering, hovering the beds/bedding, under beds, skirtings, behind / under furniture, sofa, doors and doorframes, shelves.
came downstairs and cat is laying on the top of sofa so got him off and hovered it again. I managed to wash all the cupboard doors in the kitchen, surfaces, mop floors downstairs. polish. but u had to stop because I was exhausted and needed to put dinner on for dd.

I was so annoyed that I couldn't finish upstairs and worse that I - yet again - couldn't fit any exercise in. I started making my son a computer table which is nearly finished but I cant find time or energy to do it.

I woke up today thinking ill have to start from scratch with the hovering, cat hair everywhere! but then remembered id poly filled holes and dents in walls/doors and frames that still need to be sanded and painted. so should do this today before hovering, cleaning. just don't have the head for all of this, I couldn't even get off the sofa one day last week with all the dread of not being able to get it done. then cursing myself because I didn't get anything done and its another day wasted. Sad

probably makes not sense to any one I just need to offload.

OP posts:
Original poster
happyfrown · 02/04/2017 19:14

no i don't know the number, i only know the centre i go to is psychological services.

OP posts:
boolifooli · 02/04/2017 19:19

What county are you in happy? I could find some numbers for you

Original poster
happyfrown · 02/04/2017 19:46

im in uk

OP posts:
boolifooli · 03/04/2017 09:50

What part of the UK happy? How are you feeling today?

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent · 03/04/2017 10:54

Manic behaviour,

Yup... worn the T shirt. And the crashing lows after. It doesn't make you a bad person. Just a little more entertaining to live with.. On which subject we are on good company. Some of our most famous entertainers are manic depressives.

Original poster
happyfrown · 03/04/2017 11:13

im in Essex booli. I got a lot done yesterday went to bed at 1am. I need to get the painting sorted but dd wants to go to the park, i will take her but its going to put me back.

yes i know the crashing after is awful. used to be really bad when i get fixated on a project some times more than one at at time.

OP posts:
Itisnoteasybeingdifferent · 03/04/2017 11:19

So you can't be that far from me..

What meds are you taking? I am on Valproate semi sodium. It is designed to keep the mania under control.

Original poster
happyfrown · 03/04/2017 11:33

i was on citalopram but had a crash last summer couldn't get of the sofa to gp for prescription. i asked for help when i managed to drag myself to gp but the centre said id had enough help.
i said i wont take meds, it suppose to go with therapy to help manage?

when im was on citalopram it took the edge of feeling suicidal but when i was on a phase/ project or what some people are saying manic it was bad. it was like tunnel vision i was working 12hrs straight on diy projects - decorated 3 times in a year. my (past) animal collection is disgusting. feels like i cant win.

OP posts:
Original poster
happyfrown · 03/04/2017 11:40

ive been on fluoxetine, quetiapine, dosulepin, sertraline.

therapy wise in the 7yrs of being aware of my health i had one year of shit CBT and 6weeks counselling. other than the regular sessions with a psych at mind who diagnosed BPD. that's it no other help, no support just keep getting told im anxious.

OP posts:
Itisnoteasybeingdifferent · 03/04/2017 11:53

You sound very much like a fellow manic depressive. In which case SSRI's are not the best for you.

Can you request an alternative meds?

Original poster
happyfrown · 03/04/2017 12:05

what meds are needed? the services are poo. psych centre rejected help twice before they agreed to see me again. gp thinks i just need to stop being anxious. im banging my head against the wall. Sad

OP posts:
boolifooli · 03/04/2017 12:06

your current medication regime isn't working for you. I would keep calling the GP/ask to speak to someone in the CMHT/CPN.

boolifooli · 03/04/2017 12:08

Unfortunately services are so stretched you will have to go back as many times as you need to get them to offer more help. I know, I know it's shit because you don't have the spare energy for this fight.

Original poster
happyfrown · 03/04/2017 12:11

im going to GP today on the way to park. i wont be able to see gp but cant ask reception? gp appointment list is usually a week!

OP posts:
Original poster
happyfrown · 03/04/2017 12:12

sorry can ask not cant.

OP posts:
Itisnoteasybeingdifferent · 03/04/2017 12:33

Then ask for a GP appointment asap.

boolifooli · 03/04/2017 12:59

Yes explain its not routine and needs to be soon.

Original poster
happyfrown · 03/04/2017 16:26

i asked for cpn and receptionist said the gp will call me tomorrow.
we have been to the park for ages. older two are out with friends. feel pretty drained.
thankyou for talking and helping

OP posts:
NolongerAnxiousCarer · 03/04/2017 19:49

www.nice.org.uk/guidance/cg185/

I'm hoping that link will take you through to the national guidelines for bipolar (manic depression). Might be helpful in your fight for the right support.

Original poster
happyfrown · 03/04/2017 21:12

thank you

ive debated with the gp and mind psych's they say i don't match criteria for bipolar. they couldn't even decide on what was wrong being diagnosed as anxiety and depression first, then clinical depression and finally settled on borderline. although on my paper it says EUPD. same thing i think?

i tried to read through it but my concentration isn't fully there, will try again tomorrow. what i did catch was some thing about fluoxetine, quetiapine and interpersonal therapy. i had both pills and currently doing this therapy. what if i run out of help options. i feel nothing is working?

OP posts:
Itisnoteasybeingdifferent · 03/04/2017 21:25

Manic behaviour and crashing low mood?

If it looks like a duck
It waddles like a duck
It quacks like a duck
It swims like a duck... ?

NolongerAnxiousCarer · 03/04/2017 21:26

Personally I'd push your GP for a psychiatrists referal, its evident that your GP isn't managing things and so you need someone with more expertise. I'm no expert, but I thought that if ADs sent you manic then that was a sign of possible bipolar. My friend is bipolar and finds a mood stabiliser helps a lot. I don't know if they use this for any other conditions.

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent · 03/04/2017 21:32

Valproate semi sodium also helps with preventing migraine.

Original poster
happyfrown · 03/04/2017 21:48

i did see psychiatrist. they kept changing every time though.

i don't want to sound like i haven't tried, i kept going back to gp - my ex used to have to drag me/carry me there when i couldn't function/suicidal. still they just wanted to up my dose. it was a low dose but im only small and i was going mad on them. Sad
the gp is never there always a locum or what ever they are called. when i did find a good one, she left! theres been 3 new gps in this space. so my fight starts again to convince them im not just depressed. i am trying but not getting no where. i got to the point of giving up going to the gp. please don't think im lying or not trying.

OP posts:
Itisnoteasybeingdifferent · 03/04/2017 21:53

Happy,
No one here judges each other. No one every says YABU. The problem is that the MH services don't get as much funding as they need.. Don't get me started on that one.