im feeling overwhelmed by everything and feel i cant fit it all in one day

[happyfrown]

my head is spinning with to do list and it making me feel so ill.
my home is usually clean, surface clean and pretty much organised. but I still feel I need to keep ontop of it. yesterday I did 3hrs of hovering, hovering the beds/bedding, under beds, skirtings, behind / under furniture, sofa, doors and doorframes, shelves.
came downstairs and cat is laying on the top of sofa so got him off and hovered it again. I managed to wash all the cupboard doors in the kitchen, surfaces, mop floors downstairs. polish. but u had to stop because I was exhausted and needed to put dinner on for dd.

I was so annoyed that I couldn't finish upstairs and worse that I - yet again - couldn't fit any exercise in. I started making my son a computer table which is nearly finished but I cant find time or energy to do it.

I woke up today thinking ill have to start from scratch with the hovering, cat hair everywhere! but then remembered id poly filled holes and dents in walls/doors and frames that still need to be sanded and painted. so should do this today before hovering, cleaning. just don't have the head for all of this, I couldn't even get off the sofa one day last week with all the dread of not being able to get it done. then cursing myself because I didn't get anything done and its another day wasted.

probably makes not sense to any one I just need to offload.

sorry not been on here.

elephant. I do clean every day to keep on top of it so I can fit other things in. but I wake up and feel like im back to square one, with the cleaning its also basic tidying like sorting washing, putting things back in right places, doing lunches, dinners, washing up etc.
I feel I need to do the whole lot because I feel it aint completely clean if I only do one thing a day. if that makes sense?
with that list I also want to do my daily exercise, im trying so hard to tone up and maintain my shape, ive not been diagnosed but im pretty sure I have body dysmorphia. so that's another mind battle.

hi booli, I think im ok thanks, im trying to get more exercise in. today I bought few more weights, I can see small results so Im trying to keep it up. im feeling so tired all the time its hard to get motivated especially after ive sat down from tidying or taking dd to the park.

sunday was hard its when dd goes with her dad. I spent the day worrying if she is warm enough, fed properly, if she's bored, she is travel sick too so my mind was mushy mess!

Life is like a never ending to do list. Just know you aren't alone. I also feel like once i get all the things crossed off, there's a whole new list the next day. I've struggled with BDD myself, so you aren't alone there either. I feel like sometimes exercise gets put on the back burner because there are so many other things that need to be done... but we need to make time for ourselves.

there was a day last week that I done everything regarding the house, spent all day on it. the next morning I thought I can get some exercise in today, but I was SO drained from the day before I spent it laying on the sofa with no 'go'. then because of that lazy day - the next day was back to cleaning/ tidying. that's kind of the cycle it goes in. I find myself exercising at 11pm most of the time.

How you doing happy? Are your kids school aged? Looking forward to mine going back.

im feeling completely lost.

I done a whole house clean again today. when I stop I don't know what to do with myself? just feel unsettled, Im no good explaining really.

one goes back on tues the other 2 on wed. part of me is happy for the head space the other will miss getting up and not having to go out!

Hi happy I have the same diagnosis as you and also OCD ( cleaning ) and can really relate to your posts regarding the house and cleaning.
It's so hard to explain isn't it? When you feel like you've "failed"by not doing the whole house and nothing ever feels clean.

I was only diagnosed in November, I sometimes feel it's the wrong diagnosis and I fit the criteria for bipolar but hey ho I'm sure they don't go around throwing random diagnoses at people.

I had my first cbt last week which was not what I thought it would be like.
The lady was nice enough but was so laid back she looked as though she was falling asleep, seeing her again on Wednesday.

I'm in Liverpool and the MH provision here does seem good.
I was referred for my initial consultation on the 10th November and was diagnosed on 28th November!
I have no suicidal thoughts/self harm issues but they very much think I'm in the EUPD category.

Please keep posting- I get you.

hi zoflora thanks for understanding. to the normal minded person I must sound a loon (partly true!) i do feel its never 'done' and if the kids move a cushion on the sofa i flip at one point i decorated my bath room, had flannel on the sink, hand towel on the rail and bath towel folded up on top of the toilet system - BUT they were just for décor! the kids had to use a flannel, hand towel from the airing cupboard. i would go in and check they haven't moved the towels after. that's just one example.
I haven't been diagnosed with ocd I think I definitely have some kind of compulsive disorder though.
Its a strange one to explain but I don't like 'stuff' for example I don't like my larder cupboard full, when the tins and food are getting too close or full to the edge, I need to get rid of some, my cupboards in my kitchen have to be organised with just enough cups, bowls, plates for me and my dc. lined up and stacked. I guess I don't like things full and cramped? some say its normal to want to be organised?

I tried cbt but it had no effect on me. i guess its a cycle but telling me wont change me. i need a big kick up the arse and more hands on support maybe? i hope it works for you, some people find it a life saver.

just to add, when im on a phase or a bit off i can buy on impulse multiple of items. so my don't like 'stuff' must seem a lie to the MH team. for example i wanted to buy some top of boot leg warmers - i bought 12. wore one pair. back in oct i had met up with an old flame (didn't last) but i wanted to get a new pair of boots - i bought 13. in the past, i wanted a mouse i ended up with over 60! i had 5 cats at one point whilst on impulse/ phase thing... then when it passed and i was pulling my hair out of cleaning up with all the cats back to normal!!! the MH team must think im lying saying one thing then contradicting it.