I don't want to take the meds.can I do this without them?

[Privateandconfidentialplease]

I have read some of the posts on here and the leaflet contained within the sertraline tablets. I wasn't keen on taking them anyway but I have been trying to deal with my increasing anxiety and depression for a year or so and I am not doing very well.
But the side affects really worry me. I know lots of people just get common side affects but even those worry me, let alone the rare ones. I hate taking anything, especially things that will make me feel ill or interfere with my periods. Yeah, I guess that is what is worrying me. That and putting on weight. I am feeling miserable about my weight anyway so I don't want to make it worse.
I am just scared of how this would affect me. Maybe I will have another go at dealing with this myself. The doctor has put me on the list for cognitive behavioural therapy so maybe that will help. I only saw the doctor today as I just couldn't go before now. I reached my limit last Friday so had to ask for help finally.
Does anyone know whether cognitive behavioural therapy is good? I don't know anything about it.
Did anyone put on weight with sertraline? And did it give you irregular, painful periods? or any other side affects aside from sickness or tiredness?
Thank you, I don't have anyone in RL that I feel i can confide in. I keep swinging from wanting to manage myself, to taking the meds if it means it helps.

A bit better thanks, yesterday was odd. I felt a bit too well and energised if that makes sense?
I cleaned my house from top to bottom, did a huge pile of ironing, made three desserts and i was baking at 10 o'clock last night. I couldnt stop.
Feel a bit less frantic today.
I'm just trying to go with it. I feel better than I did before I started taking them. I need to remember this.

A good day here too Private

Sham, so glad you are feeling better than before, that is good.

Wrongtrousers, I am pleased you had a good day! :)

Thanks private I hope you had a peaceful night how are you feeling this morning?

I am feeling ok this morning. I woke early, at about 3am but I try to go to bed early as that doesn't seem to affect when I wake up. 5 or 6 hours sleep is better than I was getting.
I have a long walk planned with my friend so that should be good.
Have a great day.

I had a good day on the whole but I found it worse as the day went on. I just had anxious energy and couldn't sit still or relax.

I have this habit that I have done before over the years but not much and only for a few minutes and my oh would tell me to stop and I did. I kind of run my fingers through my hair and pick at my scalp, there's nothing to pick but I will pick it until it is sore. All over my head. The last two evening have been constant and its been hard to stop myself. Then I start again.

Please can I have advice. I need to stop and saying just stop isn't really going to work. I will go to sleep soon as I know tomorrow will be an early wake up. I know I said I would try exercise but today I walked a quickish 8 miles up and down hills in the country and I have dodgy body bits and my dodgy bits are hurting so I cannot run and jump tonight! Plus it doesn't seem to work. It reduces it slightly but it's still there?

I have a doctor's appointment this week and I am finding it hard to articulate how I am feeling. I think the meds are helping. I think I feel less depressed than I was. I still cry and struggle but I think there has been an improvement. My anxiety is still there though. Is it possible the meds can work on the depression and not the anxiety? Do you think the meds just need longer?

I hope you had a nice bank holiday weekend. :)

Hi Private It sounds like you are having a rough time, even though feeling better in some ways The interaction of depression and anxiety is very complicated. My anxiety was more of the worrying/ruminating/looking on the dark side type of anxiety and very tied in with my depression, so that the ads help both together. It sounds like your anxiety is more "physical" and less associated with thoughts, do you think this is the case?

I think with the ads it is very much a matter of trial and error. I don't think the medical profession really know why some meds work for some people and not others. One thing I would mention is that my experience with sertraline is that there is a tricky balance to be struck on the dose. Sometimes I. go into a decline and have to increase my dose (with Dr's agreement). I then improve but after a while I find I get very agitated - ants in my pants - and I have to decrease my dose again. I've been round this cycle a few times now and because I have, I can recognise the signs of when I need to increase or decrease my meds but it is tricky to get it right.

You were on the lower dose for 3 weeks, I think, before you increased. One thing to consider and discuss with dr (and I know this sounds counterintuitive as you are still not feeling totally better) is whether to try reducing to 50mg again. Unfortunately I think trial and error is the only way to find out what works for you.

I only take the sertraline for my mental health, but I have heard other people talk of taking a combination of meds. Perhaps that is something else to discuss with your dr, whether you could keep on the sertraline, which does seem to be helping the depression, but try something in addition for your anxiety.

Can you identify whether your anxiety symptoms have increased in the last few weeks?

I really understand how upsetting it is when you just want to get back to normal and enjoy your life and you are still feeling intermittently awful. It is still quite early days on the ads, so it's difficult to know whether you should just persevere with your current prescription or ask to try something extra or change dose. I would say the main issue is whether things are improving, even if only slowly, or whether they are getting worse or static. Can you try to identify whether things are improving or not?

Hope you get a good night's sleep.

How are you getting on today Private ?

Hi wrongtrouser, how are you today? Thank you for your message yesterday.

I agree that my anxiety is more physical, as you put it. In that it's not necessarily thoughts that control it. Some situations will bring it on like, appointments, meeting new people, new places, going to places where lots of people will be, job interviews! But most the time there is no need to feel anxious. Like with my activity, waiting in the playground, at home, at friends, just walking in the streets-it is holidays so I don't know if school related things will have improved til next week. This anxious energy where I just can't stop and be still is different though. The last week I think it came on (I will read back this thread and see) I think the depression has improved so I am not feeling like I want to lie on the sofa under a blanket and hide from the world. But with it improving I seem to be left with this jitteriness and inability to relax.
It is interesting what you write about meds. I was on 50mg for 2 1/2 weeks and 100mg for 2 weeks. I would be worried to reduce it in case the depression worsened again. But it is worth discuss with gp tomorrow. I could ask if there is something extra I could take for anxiety maybe?
It is hard to know if my anxiety has got worse as I have not been doing my normal routine as its holidays and oh was home for the bank holiday too. The main reason is because now the depression has improved, that dark, helpless, lethargic mood has lifted alot and I guess, actually my anxiety has got worse. Yeah, hmmm. It has worsened over the last week.
I will tell the gp that the depression has improved and I will describe the feelings of anxiety.

I didn't get a bad night sleep last night. I didn't wake up in darkness, before the birds! :) it was about 5am so that is good.
Today has been ok. Only slightly anxious before physio. Overall an ok day. I think I feel kind of delicate inside? You know? Like anxiety was small inside my chest but not showing itself. That doesn't make sense I know.

I hope you are on wrongtrouser?

I meat to write. I hope you are ok not on! :)

Hi Private I've had a good day thanks. Got some tricky work tasks which I have been procrastinating on done: pleased with myself.

What you say about the jitteriness, inability to sit still - this is very much what I get when my ad dose is too high. So I feel low, weepy, awful, then increase my dose, feel better but then after a few days start to feel incredibly tense, unable to sit and concentrate and jittery. If this feeling has come on in the last week and is different to your previous anxiety, it may well be that your dose is now too high, and that the 50mg just didn't have long enough to work before the Dr increased your dose. Do bear in mind that you can have half pills, so eg 75mg, one and a half pills or even quarters. Might be worth trying adjusting the dose slightly. With me, I find the difference to how I feel when decreasing the dose is noticeable fairly quickly, in a couple of days, and the difference a small change in dose makes is quite major. Trying something in addition for the anxiety is another option to discuss with your Dr though. Hope your appointment goes well.

Good to hear you had a decent night's sleep

Well done with finishing your tasks wrongtrouser, always makes me feel good too.
I have been ok today. My anxiety grew in the waiting room and we were waiting ages so I was feel a little sick actually. My go was really nice and understanding. He thought about increasing the dose from our discussions but said we will see if another two weeks will help first. He gave me Propranolol. To take when I am super anxious. He said it will take about 10 mins to work and won't keep me awake if I need to take it later in the day. Obviously I read the side affects and don't like the sound of them. Gp said there was no problems with this medication.
Maybe I won't need it anyway. Its just for those really bad times when I can't breathe and my heart is racing.
Gp said 30% of people can suffer anxiety and there be no reason. You know, no trauma behind it. He has high hopes for cbt so I hope this is good. He thinks I should have face to face after online cbt. Not sure how it works. I think it's one or the other not both.
Anyway. I had a late night last night so going to bed soon. Quite tired. Feel a bit like I am the worse mum in the world right now.

Well I think today was ok. Exhausting and draining as I had 5 kids to drag across the countryside! :) but not too much depression and anxiety.
Maybe things are looking up.

I hope your week is going ok wrongtrouser?

Good to hear your appointment went well. Carrying on as you are plus the Propanol in case you need it sounds good. And sounds like today has been good My week has been fine. I have a extended family thing coming up in a few weeks which I'm getting a bit stressed about so trying to remember my cbt techniques, and not worry about the worrying But other than that all fine.

:( I wrote a post and it disappeared.
I am really low today.I popped out earlier to run an errand and now I am just lying on my bed, not wanting to see or talk to anyone or eat anything.
I was going to do some exercise but once I'd packed my bag to go to my activity I was too low and anxious to even step out of the door and go. :(
Lucky oh is home so is with the kids. We have a family member (oh family) over today so it makes me not want to go downstairs.

You know that propranolol your GP gave you OP. Why don't you try one? You don't get side effects from one.

Thanks gamer, I ended up getting into bed for a couple of hours and hid from the world a bit. Then oh took family member and 1 dc out for a while. I went and had something to eat and a cuppa. I still feel quite depressed but I don't feel as low as before. I did feel pretty low earlier. Lower than in a long while.
I thought the propranolol was for when I was super anxious? I was anxious but it was the heavy depression that took over for a while today.

theyre beta blockers. They'll take all that unpleasent physical upset feelings away. It makes it easier to deal with the low mood. Not being able to go to your activity is super anxious. Do you get worse than that?

Yes, super anxious for me is not being able to breathe properly, heart racing, feeling ill and unable to be still.
Today I felt a little anxious, not sure why but it was mainly this blanket of depression that came over me that stopped me. I used to get it all the time but since I have been on the higher dose of ad's I have been alot better so today just knocked me. Normally it is my anxiety that stops me doing my activity but this time it was being so down I just couldn't see or talk to anyone, I didn't want to eat or move even.I didn't have a racing heart.
I didn't take the beta blockers because I didn't have that huge anxiety so I didn't think it was the right thing to take?

I hope you are feeling a bit better now Private. Sorry to hear you've had a bad day.

Can I share with you something I got from my cbt sessions? Feel free to ignore it if it doesn't help. My therapist helped me think through issues which were causing me a lot of anxiety (I realise your problem today was feeling v low rather than anxious but I think it is still relevant). We were talking about my health anxiety and the conclusion we reached is that I start worrying about my health but then worry even more about not being able to cope with worrying about my health. So actually worrying about the worry is far worse for me than the worry. Then I get into a cycle and go downhill.

So what I learnt to do is to think "oh, I am getting very worried about my health. This has happened before and I have always got through it. It will pass". Rather than trying to "think" or "worry" myself out of the worrying. This ties in very much with mindfulness where you acknowledge a thought or feeling, but then don't feel you have to do anything about it - you don't have to understand it, or tell yourself off for having it, or try to stop it. You just recognise it and let it go.

I'm wondering if this approach might help you if you are having a bad day. You do seem to be getting better and have had some good days. You will have some less good days, but as long as most days are good, perhaps you should try to just accept that some days you will feel very low. I think you are still perhaps blaming yourself if you are not feeling so good, which you shouldn't.

If you have a bad day, it's a shame, but it's okay to do what you need to to get through the day. Which is what you did - you took some time to yourself to just hide up. Soon you will start feeling better again

I am feeling a little better now. Still anxious and a bit disappointed in myself about today.
First online cbt next week. My gp thinks it will really help me.

Hello wrongtrouser, thank you. I cross posted!

Thanks for the cbt advice. I did blame myself, you are right. I felt disappointed in myself. I am improving on the whole which is good. I think I was just not expecting this huge dip in my mood when I have been much better lately.
I admit I was feeling really isolated and lonely today.
I still feel like that.
On the plus side I woke at 5am which is an improvement from 3am!

for cross post. Good to hear you are feeling a little better. I think you may find the cbt really useful.

It's horrid to feel isolated and lonely. I think it's really hard as it is so difficult for even someone close to understand what it feels like when you are unwell, plus sometimes just being with people seems too much at times.

Yes, my oh doesn't really understand. I know he is trying though. I did try to explain how I felt once the kids were in bed. About how I just couldn't see or talk to anyone, and that this time I was feeling a little better later on, after I had hidden myself away.
Still, it is better than compared to before, when I felt that way most the time.

Hope you have a better day tomorrow Private