I don't want to take the meds.can I do this without them?

[Privateandconfidentialplease]

I have read some of the posts on here and the leaflet contained within the sertraline tablets. I wasn't keen on taking them anyway but I have been trying to deal with my increasing anxiety and depression for a year or so and I am not doing very well.
But the side affects really worry me. I know lots of people just get common side affects but even those worry me, let alone the rare ones. I hate taking anything, especially things that will make me feel ill or interfere with my periods. Yeah, I guess that is what is worrying me. That and putting on weight. I am feeling miserable about my weight anyway so I don't want to make it worse.
I am just scared of how this would affect me. Maybe I will have another go at dealing with this myself. The doctor has put me on the list for cognitive behavioural therapy so maybe that will help. I only saw the doctor today as I just couldn't go before now. I reached my limit last Friday so had to ask for help finally.
Does anyone know whether cognitive behavioural therapy is good? I don't know anything about it.
Did anyone put on weight with sertraline? And did it give you irregular, painful periods? or any other side affects aside from sickness or tiredness?
Thank you, I don't have anyone in RL that I feel i can confide in. I keep swinging from wanting to manage myself, to taking the meds if it means it helps.

[WrongTrouser]

OP I hope the phone counselling today goes well

[Privateandconfidentialplease]

Thanks wrongtrouser.it seemed to be more an initial assessment, finding out more about the way I was feeling etc. She said she discusses it with her colleague and will call me Friday morning and tell me what course of action is best.
I did find it hard talking over the phone to her and I have a feeling that whatever therapy they decide, there will be a waiting list for. :( I will just have to see what she says and hope I am not waiting too long.

[WrongTrouser]

I think talking to someone you don't know on the phone about something personal is always quite difficult. The actual sessions will hopefully be face-to-face though, I suppose. Hope you are feeling okay today.

[Privateandconfidentialplease]

Yes, hopefully the sessions will be face to face. I actually don't know how I feel anymore. I am feeling very lonely and isolated. I feel sad and my heart is racing. My day was mostly ok but I feel useless. I think I will just go to bed.

[WrongTrouser]

Private I really think you should have a try with the sertraline. You sound low and anxious. I know what you mean about taking medication seeming like a huge step. But really, if you take it and it helps, you will look back and be happy that you took the steps to get well again.

I count my blessings that the ads are available and I can take them. I have tried stopping several times and I just can't function. We don't need to just suffer. Taking ads is not being weak or a failure. It is a positive step to help yourself and get better again.

I have to take a few types of medicine for various health problems. Honestly, the sertraline is the easiest - I get no side effects on the right dose. The only issue is that it doesn't work straight way, it takes about two weeks.

Please do consider starting the sertraline.

Hope you get a decent night's sleep.

[Darlink]

Take them x

[Wolfiefan]

I found it really hard to take the pills when I was diagnosed with depression but they helped. They really did.
If you can't face taking them then I think you should speak to counsellor or revisit GP for advice. You aren't well. The pills have been prescribed as part of the treatment.

[WrongTrouser]

How have you been today OP?

[DumbleDee]

So I took the leap. Decided to take half a dose whilst I'm working and didn't know how I'd be, and move to full dose from Friday. Yesterday felt slightly nauseus, extremely tired, a bit jitterry. Same today but a bit less. xx

[Privateandconfidentialplease]

Wrongtrouser I feel the same as yesterday.started off relatively ok but my mood quickly slipped from midday onwards. I tried to keep myself busy and it worked in the morning. I had an arrangement with someone, to exercise in the afternoon after a short work shift. I really forced myself to do half hour as in the (distant) past it helped but I was just left feeling drained. Not in a physical way so much but in myself. Like a weight was over my head and chest. I don't think it helped that I grew more anxious leading up to the activity but wanted so badly for it to make me feel better so I pushed myself to do it (doesn't exercise release a happy hormone?)
I really appreciate your advice, and all of the comments on here too. It makes me feel not quite so alone, especially when I don't feel able to tell anyone else at the moment.
Dumbledee-thanks for the update. I am glad your side effects are less today. Let me know how it's going tomorrow.

[WrongTrouser]

I'm glad you are finding the thread helpful. It must be really hard if those around you don't know how you have been feeling. It was sunny here today and I spent some time gardening so exercise plus sun which was good for my spirits. I think exercise is very good, partly because you can "switch off" and just be in the moment but it sounds like perhaps you were worrying about the exercising and whether it would make you feel better which would make it less likely you would feel like that. This is the sort of thing cbt could help with, to try to break the cycle of worrying and anxiety.

[Wolfiefan]

Yes exercise cam absolutely be helpful. Well done you for taking some and doing exercise too. Are you going to take the same dose tomorrow?

[Privateandconfidentialplease]

Yes, I agree. In the past I never used to worry when I did this activity and could just be in the moment but since my anxiety has increased I was really feeling panicky when it was getting busier and people were closer to me. One good thing is that I did go, I completed the minimum time I had set myself. Which is better than other times where I stopped completely and felt like a useless failure for not even being able to stick it out. Or I would just find excuses to not go at all.
Gardening in the sunshine sounds like a great way to spend the day.
I wonder what the counsellor will have decided when she calls up friday.

[Privateandconfidentialplease]

Hi wolfie, I didn't take meds. Dumbledee did. I do alot of fast walking for exercise too and I find that helps.I don't get anxious about people being too close or anything and it can clear my head a little. If I go with my bestie it's even better though as we both have kids and she works ft so it is hard to fit walks in.

[WorknameJimEllis]

I find it really sad that more isn't done to help someone in your position OP.

Every month or so there's a new thread pops up along exactly the same lines, 'got ADs but I'm too anxious to take them' and loads of people chip in with a 'me too'

It's got to be the most obvious and foreseeable problem with a GP prescribing antidepressants. Really pisses me off that the poor patient is left to tie themselves in knots over it.

I know, I've been there. Took me WEEKS to get the courage to start. What a muppet I was. As soon as they started working it was bleeding obvious to me that the anxiety about taking them was ... my anxiety speaking. Making me scared to make a change and wedging me firmly in a very crap place thinking I could manage.

I hope you can get the courage to take them OP. I was on setraline. It saved my life. To reassure you, I didn't gain weight (I lost weight in a healthy way, because I felt better about myself) I didn't get or look spaced out. I just started to feel more ' me ' again. It was utterly , utterly wonderful. I did have some side effects- a few vivid dreams though not bad or scary, some were ace. And I came off them too quick, against medical advice and had a couple of dizzy spells. ( I ran out and CBA to go and get the prescription as I was planning to stop anyway. Bad idea. I should have tapered down over a week or two)

[Privateandconfidentialplease]

Thanks workname, I frustrate myself that I have not started taking them yet.

My day wasn't too bad today, so I then tell myself that I can indeed do this without them. But I know my anxiety is still there, sometimes a little wave, sometimes a huge one that grips me. That my depression seems to be waiting round the corner even on a good day, and on a bad day it swallows me up and leaves me drained. I know I deserve more than a few 'not too bad' days. That I should expect more from my life than that.

Why can't I do it? When I think about taking them my heart starts to pound. How ridiculous is that? I don't know why?

The lady from the counselling is calling tomorrow so hopefully I shall know more about how they can help me then.

[DumbleDee]

Hi, a little jitterry today, a little nauseus this morning, but nothing that us anxiety survivors can't handle. Am upping my dose tomorrow to normal prescription. I'll let you know how the weekend goes. Am in an awful mood today though, but I have had a stresfull day at work. Can't blame the meds I might have felt the same without them x

[Wolfiefan]

Sorry for my mistake OP. My depression is kicking in a bit at the moment and I'm a bit foggy. I need to get back to exercise as it is my coping mechanism. And if i could sort my diet and lay off the crisps and chocolate I would be better off!

[Joto369]

I'm in a similar situation however feeling much better than a few weeks back. Then I was suffering from a stress reaction after a very stressful time and my gp didn't want to medicate said to give it time. I was anxious and low but underneath it all felt like myself. Stress levels were far too high. Plus hormones shifts due to age! A few weeks on and the early waking anxious and unable to keep anything down have all but gone. I'm just exhausted. Work is still stressful (doing 2 jobs til one is covered by another staff member but we need to replace and another just gone off sick) I wake feeling fine but the journey and work stress mean by 10am I'm like a zombie. Spaced out. Yes I cry but out of frustration at how I feel. Under it I feel like me. Last GP I saw wanted me to take meds but said didn't think I was depressed! I'm waiting for CBT and doing lots to self help but am cautious of taking meds if they're not really needed as it is a fine line. OP I would see what the counsellor says. You can always stop them if they don't suit.

[Privateandconfidentialplease]

Dumbledee, I hope tomorrow is not as stressful as today for you.

Wolfie, I need to cut back on the rubbish too. Sorry to hear your depression is kicking in a bit. xx

Joto,I will see what the counsellor says tomorrow and take it from there. Sleep calls.

[Privateandconfidentialplease]

I just spoke to her and she is really lovely but the waiting list for cbt is approx 8 months long. I feel a bit deflated. She did say I can use an online program which has a counsellor responding to emails and following what I am doing.
I am not surprised really, though I didn't realise it would be so long to wait.
If the online stuff isn't for me I can have phone help apparently.
I was kind of negative earlier and was feeling tearful so I did the very British thing and had a cuppa and came back to finish this post. You know, it's fine. I shall give it a go and see what happens. It wasn't as if it would fix anything straight away anyway, like a silver bullet for depression and anxiety.

[Privateandconfidentialplease]

I took 50mg an hour ago.

I realised that even if I am lucky enough to have a few good mornings, that's not enough. The anxiety is still there, that doesn't seem to go. I can't go through life glad to have 3 hours where I am just ok before it goes down hill and that's as good as it gets. I want to have more good days than bad.

I told my oh too. That was really hard but once I blurted it out it was fine. He admitted he is thoughtless and understands why I didn't tell him. I didn't tell him how I was feeling though. I couldn't share that yet. Just that I was taking ad's for anxiety and depression and being on the cbt therapy waiting list.

Phew.

Do you know if the meds will help the ocd at all?

[Joto369]

Well done!! First step taken xxx you'll find the good days outweigh the bad soon I'm sure. Xx can't help with the OCD question I'm sure someone will come along soon

[Wolfiefan]

I did the phone thing and it really helped. I actually didn't think I could cope with travelling and face to face!

[FaintlyHopeful]

I felt shaky and spacey for 2 weeks, then it felt like a curtain lifting. It's difficult to describe but as someone said upthread, it's been truly life-changing. It's like having the anxious voice switched off and when that went my chronic insomnia went too. If your eating is related to your anxiety it may help this too. I had some gastric issues in the first 2 weeks so no possibility of weight gain and none since.

I hope you feel better soon. Anxiety is shit but it can get so much better.