I don't want to take the meds.can I do this without them?

[Privateandconfidentialplease]

I have read some of the posts on here and the leaflet contained within the sertraline tablets. I wasn't keen on taking them anyway but I have been trying to deal with my increasing anxiety and depression for a year or so and I am not doing very well.
But the side affects really worry me. I know lots of people just get common side affects but even those worry me, let alone the rare ones. I hate taking anything, especially things that will make me feel ill or interfere with my periods. Yeah, I guess that is what is worrying me. That and putting on weight. I am feeling miserable about my weight anyway so I don't want to make it worse.
I am just scared of how this would affect me. Maybe I will have another go at dealing with this myself. The doctor has put me on the list for cognitive behavioural therapy so maybe that will help. I only saw the doctor today as I just couldn't go before now. I reached my limit last Friday so had to ask for help finally.
Does anyone know whether cognitive behavioural therapy is good? I don't know anything about it.
Did anyone put on weight with sertraline? And did it give you irregular, painful periods? or any other side affects aside from sickness or tiredness?
Thank you, I don't have anyone in RL that I feel i can confide in. I keep swinging from wanting to manage myself, to taking the meds if it means it helps.

I did my activity. Only for 20 mins but I was happy with that as it was busy. I think that if it's busy it impacts on my anxiety. Not sure why it being busy bothers me so much? People being very close to me maybe. Inside my personal boundary? Don't know. It never used to.
Was a little anxious but that was fine. I am not really depressed today, well not so far! So hopefully yesterday was just a blip.

I hope you have a good day wrongtrouser.

Hi Private. I had a good day thanks. Couldn't get much done in the garden as our bees swarmed so there were lots of bad-tempered bees about and we had to stay in the house. Good to hear you were feeling better and did your activity. Hope the rest of your day was good.

Gotta love bees! :)

I had a strange day. Anxious enough to take a propranolol. How long does it work for as I went to my activity about 2 hours later and just couldn't do it as I was too anxious.
I don't like conflict and there was a 'thing' that happened. I was really upset and anxious afterwards and found it hard to not think about. My oh said not to worry but I have worried last night and today. It got me down. Nothing bad is going to happen but I just don't like having bad feeling especially as it was unprovoked and unexpected.
I just need to get over it.

Sounds like you had a very unpleasant experience Private - not surprising you were feeling anxious. Do you think the propanolol helped at all? I hope you are feeling more relaxed now.

I am not sure if it helped as I went out to walk to work and I think walking helps me anyway. By the time I got to the activity a few hours later the anxiety was back. Maybe it only lasts a short amount of time?
I was feeling anxious last night and this morning about what happened, but my oh had a chat with me and obviously said the right thing as I don't feel as anxious about it now. :)

What's the dosage?

I take around 120 - 160mg a day sometimes. One dose doesn't last all day. If you want it for the activity, take it around 20 minutes before.

Your bloke sounds fab OP. They always know what to say.

I just checked, they are only 10mg and I can take up to 3 a day. I will definitely take it 20 mins before next time as I really want to do it. It just didn't work out well yesterday as I was really anxious in the morning so that is why I took it then and I guess it could have worn off by the time I arrived at the activity.
Yes, my oh is lovely. Can be a sod sometimes but can't we all! :) . It also helps he is so laid back.

I have my online cbt tomorrow.bit nervous about it.

Hope it goes well Private. Don't be nervous, it is to help you and you don't need to say anything you don't want to. Let us know how you get on.

10? Christ I take 40mg in one dose. Definitely take it just before.

Good luck for today, I doubt you'll need it though

I feel a bit vulnerable now I have put my previous post up. Maybe I will ask for it to be deleted as I shared too much. I will wait til morning and see how I feel.

Oh Private, it's no wonder you have such anxiety and find situations like your activity with lots of people close stressful. That is such an awful thing to have happened to you.

Did you talk about this with the cbt or is it more focused on the here and now? I am sure you will find the cbt helpful but have you thought about talking to your gp about counselling? Or seeing if there is other counselling available? Do you think you would find it helpful?

I am very nervous of people too near - I prefer to sit on the end of rows and preferably at the back in meetings etc as I hate having people behind that I can't see, but I have not been physically abused or attacked, so I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you to have people too close. I hope the cbt will help you with strategies for dealing with this.

MNHQ are great about deleting posts if you don't want to leave your post there.

I think becoming a mother sometimes brings difficult things from childhood/adolescence to the fore. Watching one's own children grow up and trying to be a good mother highlights anything that was missing or wrong in one's own childhood, or does for me.

Hope you are feeling okay.

Hi wrongtrouser, I didn't talk about it in cbt, should I tell her?

She asked me which I would prefer to focus on first, the depression or anxiety. I chose anxiety as that is more of a problem at the moment. The sertraline has improved my depression. She asked me what my symptoms were when I get anxious, how I felt and what was I thinking etc.
I did ask for that post to be deleted. I don't know if seeing a counsellor will help. It's not something I think about all the time and I don't think talking about it again will help. Surely it would just drag up a load of negative events and memories that I left behind 20 years ago? I think I would prefer to leave it in the 90's.
I am pleased that you understand how I get nervous when people are too near. Thanks x I thought it was just me.

I agree with what you said about becoming a mum.

I have been awake for hours :( just a bad night.

Have a good day.

Hi Private. How has your day been? No, I don't think you should talk to your cbt therapist about anything you don't want to share, and as cbt is more about how you deal with anxiety or other feelings in the present, it might not be the best place anyway if you did want to discuss these experiences with someone. I was just asking whether you had because you had just started the cbt yesterday before you posted.

I know what you mean about wanting to leave some things in the past and not thinking that discussing them will necessarily be helpful. I think we all have different ways of dealing with stuff, some people might want to explore their feelings about the past, others prefer to try to leave some experiences behind them. Either is fine, its a personal choice of whatever suits you.

It sounds like the cbt can help you focus on reducing anxiety in specific situations, which will be really positive.

I've had a tiring week with some family sickness (minor) but have managed okay. I have a couple of meet ups with good friends this weekend which I am looking forward to

Is your sleeping not getting any better?

Hi wrongtrouser, I don't think I should mention it to my cbt therapist either. It was fresh in my mind as I have been thinking about what makes me anxious and other things......

I read the circle of anxiety that the therapist sent me. I was going to take the propranolol before my activity tomorrow if I needed to but this suggests not using it? Apparently I need to realise I can't be hurt by emotions and just do it. I think I am supposed to do these relaxation techniques instead. One was this 1 minute meditation, one was diaphragm breathing or something and the other was this weird relaxation thing where you tense parts of your body from toes up and then relax, until you get to your head then tense your whole body.
No my sleep has not improved. I will sometimes get to 5am but like this morning it was about 3am! Normally I just lie there and relax, don't worry, day dream as I am still sleepy. Sometimes listen to a meditation or audio book so I haven't actually been as tired like before. But this morning I was wide awake, couldn't get comfy. Actually quite tired so am going to bed at 9pm I think.
I forgot this weekend was a bank holiday til yesterday so that's a treat. Have fun with your friends and I hope your family are recovered from their illnesses.

Hi :) I am going to bed early again as I am so tired. Another early morning.

I went to my activity. I did the techniques the therapist gave me.I told myself I was going no matter what and though my anxiety is horrible it can't hurt me. I was a little bit anxious but I did it. Not sure it will work on a day I feel really anxious though but I am sure I can try.
I hope you are well and have a nice extended weekend.

It sounds like using the cbt techniques worked well for your activity yesterday Private. Hope you are feeling less tired and are enjoying the long weekend. I've had a busy couple of days, good though. We took the dog to the beach today - he was beside himself with excitement to get there once he realised where we were going

I would love a dog but lack of money is stopping me. Ongoing costs are fine but as soon as something happens and you have to take them to a vet I would struggle.
I am enjoying the long weekend, saw my friend which was lovely.
I didn't do my activity today.I got there first thing and there was a charity event on so I couldn't do it. At least I had an hour's walk on a nice quiet Sunday morning but I had been feeling anxious and depressed today and I wanted to provide to myself I could do it. I could change, do the relaxation techniques and do my activity. I will see if I have time to go tomorrow.

I am worried about something stupid. I don't like change and our house is going through changes, won't say what but normal people wouldn't find this worrying but I am. Silly!
I hate waking up feeling anxious and depressed.for no reason.just doesn't make sense. I am doing the relaxation things 3 times a day and the breathing relaxation technique if I feel anxious or stressed. I am tired.for some reason I am waking even earlier than before and instead of being relaxed when I wake like I usually am, lying there and listening to meditation etc. Instead I wake up, not tired, not comfy.
Then now I am soooo tired. :( :( :(

Prove not provide!

How's the rest if your day been Private? Sorry to hear your early waking is worse. It sounds very tiring. Do you think it is the worry over the house thing? I think you are quite harsh on yourself sometimes. I find upheavel in my house incredibly stressful - it really unsettles me and makes it hard for me to relax. And when my children were small, I found things like that even harder to deal with. So I don't think you should judge yourself for feeling anxious about house upheavel/changes.

I've had a good day, out and about. Planning a very quite day tomorrow.

I had a bad day yesterday and an even worse one today. Quite anxious yesterday but more depressed today. So depressed I just wanted to lie on the floor and not move.or hide under my duvet.
I wrote this post and accidentally deleted it :( I shall try to remember it.
You are right that I am harsh on myself. I dismiss my feelings, thoughts and opinons. I don't know why.....because other people are thinking it maybe?
I had my online cbt this morning. The lady is nice. She said I need to do more relaxation and mindfulness exercises every few hours if I can. She is sending me info on social anxiety. She asked me if I was shy. And whether I was assertive. I don't know. In some ways I am shy but in other was I am not. Same with assertiveness, I can be. It also depends on how I feel at the time.
Oh God I am so tired! I am just feeling really down today.
I have a Dr appointment tomorrow.I don't know what to say. There was an improvement in my depression. Although I am much better than I was before I took the meds, I am feeling the depression creeping back in more often? The anxiety is at a constant level but I am sure the exercises will help that. Not sure how to help the depression though?
I think I am worrying over the changes.
I am glad you have had a good weekend and I hope your day was relaxing today.

To be honest another thing that is on my mind is that there is a family event that I can't get out of. Loads of extended family that I haven't seen in years will be there. They are lovely but I don't know them that well. There will also be a load of people that I don't know. It's all day. The thought if spending that long with people makes me want to cry. It makes me feel sick so I don't think about it.

I think you need to talk to your GP about how you have been feeling the last week or so, that you are still feeling v anxious and your depression is perhaps more frequent than a few weeks ago. I was very lucky and the first ads I tried worked for me, but some people need to try a few before finding what works for them. Perhaps you need to try a different ad? Do make sure your GP knows you are not feeling so good - then they can help.

The family do sounds v stressful. I think events like this can be really hard if you are feeling emotionally/mentally vulnerable. Are there any arrangements you can make to make the day easier - leave earlier or arrive later, take a break during the day (eg say you need to take the children to stretch their legs for an hour or say you need a nap)?

Don't feel bad if you have to attend "on your own terms" as it were, like not being there all the time. I think one of the things at these type of do's is the feeling of being "trapped" and having no control. Just taking some steps to feel more in control and able to just participate as much as you want can make it easier.

Hope your appt tomorrow goes well.

Thanks, I will tell the dr. I don't want to try another ad. :( would it help to increase it once more instead?

I will be one of the first to leave.no doubt about that. I don't think I can slip away in the middle tho. (And there will be a meal. I don't eat in front of people or at their houses. I am fine with my family and if we go out on our own. The therapist said it was social anxiety, I kind of knew that but it is weird. It's not like I eat weirdly or anything!) Actually, I just remembered the propranolol-I could take that if I am freaking out.

Have a good day wrongtrouser.