I don't want to take the meds.can I do this without them?

[Privateandconfidentialplease]

I have read some of the posts on here and the leaflet contained within the sertraline tablets. I wasn't keen on taking them anyway but I have been trying to deal with my increasing anxiety and depression for a year or so and I am not doing very well.
But the side affects really worry me. I know lots of people just get common side affects but even those worry me, let alone the rare ones. I hate taking anything, especially things that will make me feel ill or interfere with my periods. Yeah, I guess that is what is worrying me. That and putting on weight. I am feeling miserable about my weight anyway so I don't want to make it worse.
I am just scared of how this would affect me. Maybe I will have another go at dealing with this myself. The doctor has put me on the list for cognitive behavioural therapy so maybe that will help. I only saw the doctor today as I just couldn't go before now. I reached my limit last Friday so had to ask for help finally.
Does anyone know whether cognitive behavioural therapy is good? I don't know anything about it.
Did anyone put on weight with sertraline? And did it give you irregular, painful periods? or any other side affects aside from sickness or tiredness?
Thank you, I don't have anyone in RL that I feel i can confide in. I keep swinging from wanting to manage myself, to taking the meds if it means it helps.

hopeful I hope you are right. It would be nice to not feel like this.

Wrongtrouser, My anxiety and low mood has stayed with me. I did get out with my brother and put a brave face on as normal but I think he knew something was up, so I told him I was on ad's and why.I know he thought he was being helpful but he just told me I needed to find God and that would fix everything. I know it helped him so he was just trying to be kind. He did also say he was there if i needed to talk which was better, but I don't really know why I am feeling this way. Just being out with him and the family walking makes me feel a little better, at least while I am with them anyway.

I have found it hard to stay on task today. I have got next to nothing done and feel totally lazy. I woke at 3.50am and couldn't get back to sleep.
I am so hoping these ad's will kick in soon.
Do you think my sleep will return to normal or am I destined to have a shit nights sleep until I am off the ad's?

Is your sleep worse than before you started the ads Private? I think its more likely to be the depression/anxiety itself, or perhaps getting used to the ads. I am now on 50 mg sertraline but have been on higher doses and it has never affected my sleep at all. Don't despair, I know it's difficult but you are still having the effects of your body getting used to the ads but without the benefits, but hopefully you will start noticing a difference soon.

Sounds like it was good to see your brother even if he didn't manage to convert you

Not surprised you felt lazy if you had been awake since the small hours. Don't expect too much of yourself Private, you are taking steps towards getting better and if some things you want to do don't get done at the moment, try not to worry. I hope you get a better night's sleep tonight.

You know I think you are right wrongtrouser. Looking back on my previous posts I was having problems waking early before the ad's and I did tell the doc I hadn't been sleeping well. I guess it must be the depression and not a side affect of the ad's.
I really hope I get some proper sleep soon though. I am getting less sleep and poorer quality sleep than when my kids were newborns.
I forced myself up and out early to do my activity.I am glad I went but I did under 15 mins which is way less than normal.but still, I did it. I will go again tomorrow hopefully. It was a bit much for me, but I am frustrated as it was something I used to love. I think it is partly because it was very busy. Perhaps being surrounded by alot of people? I don't know.
I have had a busy day with the kids, then I saw my friend which is always great. But now I have come home I am very tired.
I have my doctor's appointment tomorrow so that should be helpful.
I hope you had a nice day wrongtrouser, it was a beautiful day here.

Hi Private That makes sense about the sleeping. I know what you mean about the importance of good sleep. Hope you start sleeping better soon. Sounds like your day was good. I had a nice day, walk with the dog and then gardening and our first outside meal of the year in the garden.

Hope it all goes well with your doctors appointment tomorrow

I saw my doctor today. He increased my meds to 100mg. I thought he would. I am ok with that. I just want to feel better.
I woke at 4.20 this morning. I find it hard to be ready for sleep in the evening. I am tired but just feel on edge? I don't think I am explaining myself. But it means I don't really go to sleep til about 11pm. I used to have 9 hours lovely relaxing sleep! Does anyone have any tips to improve my sleep either in the evening or first thing in the morning? I think I might be more successful in the evening as in the morning I am wide awake.

That sounds good that you are okay with your dr increasing your dose. Perhaps you are starting to feel a little less anxious if you can just see the increased dose as a step towards getting better?

My tip for getting to sleep is to listen to sonorous male voices narrating books through earphones. Even when I have been in hospital where getting to sleep can be difficult, I found it works. My top tips for inducing sleep are Richard Dawkins narrating the Ancestors' Tale and recently released Stephen Fry reading Sherlock Holmes Both send me off in no time. I get them through Audible, it's not too expensive if you subscribe. You can listen to a sample to check you like the narrator's voice - it's no good if you don't. Women's voices don't seem to send me to sleep in the same way but I still find listening to someone reading me a book incredibly relaxing - especially Juliet Stephenson whose narration is perfect. Even if this doesn't send you to sleep, you might find it relaxing, and you could perhaps try this when you wake in the early morning. I find listening much less work than reading at the moment and very relaxing.

I am less anxious about taking these meds now. I realise I need them to get well.

I woke at 2.30am :( :( 2.30! I am so tired. I think I went to sleep earlier than normal. I was listening to a YouTube meditation video which was actually quite good. I will definitely check out the narrated books, thank you.
My dc2 just had a nightmare (just a one off) so came in for a lovely snuggle. So nice having a cuddle with her and listening to her sleeping.
Though my oh has just got up (he gets up early for work) and moaned that I kept him awake. I was lying in the dark as still as I could, listening to the meditation (through headphones) again (which didn't work to get me to sleep this time). It's not like I deliberately wake up just to piss him off and I tried to be quiet and still.
I know he is a grump in the morning :) funny how he slept through both kids waking in the night over the years!
Anyway, let's see how today goes. I hope you have a good one.xx

Hope you had an okay day today Private but you must have been very tired, waking so early. Sorry to hear your oh is a bit of a grump if you wake up - that can't help when you don't want to be awake anyway. My day was fine - I'm staying at home for the whole of the Easter holidays and am really enjoying not having to think about going away, get ready etc - I always get very stressed before going away, although I enjoy it once I'm there, so nice just to stay at home. Hope you are getting on okay with the increased dose.

I am having a really down day.just lying here crying for no reason.I am so sad.
I haven't had any more side affects from the increased dose so far which is good but I am losing faith that they will help me :( I woke at 3.50 which is better than the previous night but my daughter woke at half 11 and needed calpol so it was a disturbed sleep.
Just feeling really pathetic and lonely.
It is nice to stay at home for Easter and to be able to relax properly without any commitments.
Too miserable to write anything else.

I have online cbt coming in the next few weeks but I am anxious about it as don't know what happens in it.

I am going to go for a walk before work. Otherwise I will just sit and cry.

Hi private just wanted to let you know that I am here. It is great that you have decided to go for a walk. That is really positive. I know it is bloody hard work to keep trying to do things to make yourself ok when it is like this. I often think some people would be amazed if they realised how much effort is needed to get through the next half hour on days like this. The point is that you are doing it and not giving in. It is tough and so give yourself some credit for even having the idea that a walk might help.

I am feeling quite a bit better, though I dip throughout the day. Yesterday was pretty bad. This morning I have done an exercise dvd and spoken to ds. I am about to write my journal to dd (they don't live with me) and that is going to be tough. But the fact that I am thinking about a positive reward - maybe yoga - means that I am better than I was four weeks ago. Keep going. You are doing well.

Private So sorry to hear you have been having a bad day The tiredness from early waking must be awful on top of anxiety/depression. With me tiredness and feeling low are so closely linked. I often feel sleepy and weepy and tired (Farmer Duck) and am no use for anything but going to bed. It's so hard for you because your children are young and at that stage where they need so much from you. I know they are a great source of joy and love to you, but that doesn't stop it being hard when you are having to do all the caring etc they need when you are feeling tired and low, and with little children it can never wait.

Don't despair that the ads won't help - you probably just need a bit longer to start seeing the effect. I hope you felt better after your walk.

Hope you get a better night's sleep tonight Private

Thank you both for replying. I managed a better night sleep.I managed to go to sleep earlier at just after 10pm and woke at 4.40am. I do feel less tired even though it was just a little extra. I still feel tearful but not nearly as down as yesterday. Yesterday was not a good day, it was so bad I considered calling in sick. Though I do love my job and usually it cheers me up, plus my colleague is off so I don't want to leave them short.
Anyway, today is a new day, the sun is shining and its nearly time for my kids to break up for the holidays. I am so looking forward to it.
I really want to get better. I completed the online questionnaires to pair me up with an online cbt therapist. It was harder than I thought actually. I probably sound miserable as I was having a bad day.
I hope you both are having a good day!

I have had a strange day. I love nature, I enjoyed walking with the sun on my face, looking at the trees and flowers and listening to the birds. But I still had quite a lot of anxiety that went over me in waves. Though my mood was not as low as yesterday and I was able to enjoy elements of it, inside I still felt this ball of sadness that was just there? The anxiety is quite alot today, even now whilst I am at home with my kids cooking dinner. I am trying to sort out a few things at the moment so maybe that's why, maybe that's why I feel like this. Once these things are arranged I might feel better.
On the plus side, I haven't felt so tired today.
How is your day going?

Hi Private Good to hear you had more sleep and a better day. I've not had a very productive day, just been v tired so taking it easy and hope to be a bit more lively tomorrow. It's nice you have your children on holiday soon. Mine have been off this week, which is lovely.

I hope the cbt proves useful. I don't know how different it will be doing it online to in person. When I saw my cbt therapist, one of the most useful parts was exploring what aspects of my life were giving me stress and causing anxiety. One of the main things was a job (very part time) I was doing which was causing me huge stress. The CBT therapist helped me identify that I wanted to hand in my notice but was stopped by The Worry (that I would be letting people down, admitting failure etc). Just understanding this let me give myself permission to leave the job, which was absolutely the right thing for me. Maybe you will find it helpful to explore if there are particular things which are causing you stress which you can change. Of course, sometimes we can feel anxious and stressed and there is no particular trigger or cause - but it's worth exploring this.

My therapist then helped me to look at how my thought patterns were increasing my anxiety (which then affects your physical reaction and behaviour) and to practice ways of changing my thoughts and responses. Some of cbt links in I think with mindfulness, which can be useful. The essential thing I learnt from mindfulness was to recognise and acknowledge a feeling without doing anything about it (it's difficult to explain). So, for example, in a situation were I find myself getting very anxious, say too much work to do and the work is difficult, I would just acknowledge my thought, but then not try to think myself out of the thought, just let it go. Rather than getting in to worrying about the worry.

I am not explaining this very well but there are a couple of books I found really useful. I will link to them.

Hope you have a good day tomorrow and can get out in the sun again. It's such a lovely time of year.

Anxiety: Panicking about Panic (I think I might have mentioned this one before)

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1500117927/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1491506964&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=panicking+about+panic&dpPl=1&dpID=41bmKIKuPjL&ref=plSrch&tag=mumsnetforum-21

Mindfulness for Busy People (Nice and straightforward and quite insightful)

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/0273789902/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1491507309&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=mindfulness+busy+people&dpPl=1&dpID=41P47FXcVmL&ref=plSrch&tag=mumsnetforum-21

I wrote a message and it disappeared :( I am too drained to redo it.

What if the meds don't work? Shouldn't there be an improvement? I really thought it would work. I am feeling like a failure on every level and so pathetic. Aaaagggh.
Sorry.
Thanks for the book suggestions, I shall check them out.
I hope you had a good day.xx

I did these questionnaires for the cbt therapist and when I looked at the scores it says I have severe depression and severe anxiety. I didn't think it was that bad. Maybe it's wrong. I thought people who have it severely don't get out of bed or are suicidal but I am not that bad.

I checked back and you have been on the ads for 3 weeks now. But you have only been on the higher dose for a few days. If you need the higher dose, it will take a while for the effects to kick in. Don't despair. Have you got another review with your Dr booked? If you are still not feeling better in a week or so, perhaps your Dr will suggest trying a different ad. Some people do have to try more than one to find what works for them. But don't give up on the sertraline, it might just need a bit longer to take effect. If you do find it doesn't work and you have to try another ad, that is not any failure on your part. Some medicines work differently on different people - it is just chemistry or biology or whatever, no reflection on you. You are doing what you can to get better, and you will.

The scores for the questionnaire do sound like you are badly affected and you are also having sleep problems, but, honestly, the fact that you are still coping with everything (work, children, your exercise activity) shows that you are absolutely not pathetic or a failure in any way. You are making the effort to see your family and your friends too and to do nice things like go for a walk. All these things take effort when you are fighting depression and anxiety and you are still doing them all.

My day has been fine. Had a long chat on the phone with my sister which is always lovely.

Hope you have a better day today Private

Thank you wrongtrouser. My day started early again. I have found it hard to sit still or relax lately. I didn't really notice it before as I was busy but I just can't concentrate on anything. Not even books and I love reading. I keep finger tapping, I know it sounds weird, and I have to consciously stop myself.
I was quite down and anxious this morning especially as my oh went on about the chores that needed doing. It made me feel worse and inadequate.
I then decided to do my activity so I forced myself up and out and walked there aiming to just 15-20 mins, I thought that would be achievable. Just as I got there I felt a heavy pat on my bag. It was a huge bird poo. Seriously must have been a monster of a bird for this brown mess! I used my towel to clear it up and obviously then i couldn't go. The whole thing cheered me up. I found it so funny that it went on my back pack and completely missed me. If it had landed on my head I wouldn't have been happy (really huge, seriously!) but I must have been so lucky! So I walked home and bumped into a friend and felt better.
So I had an anxious and low day that suddenly looked up. Feeling better now I am home which I am pleased about as I am sick of myself.
I am glad you had a good day yesterday, it's another beautiful day today.