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Original poster

To ask for some help to talk me down? (Trigger warning, self harm)

29 replies

Resetyourpassword · 23/01/2017 20:21

I've had a shit day.

I havent self harmed for years and it is all I can think of doing.

I want something to hurt more than I do right now.

OP posts:
Rixera · 23/01/2017 20:24

Lie down with a duvet on you.
Feel the weight of the duvet. Feel it on your tummy, your legs, right to your fingertips. Feel the surface you're lying on pressing against your back. Feel the weight change as you breathe.

Gumps · 23/01/2017 20:24

Do you want to talk about it or completely change the subject? I'm in ADs and can sympathise or start a mean discussion on the weather.

SandunesAndRainclouds · 23/01/2017 20:25

I'm here. Happy to distract by talking random nonsense Flowers

JustHavinABreak · 23/01/2017 20:25

I'm so glad you posted instead of doing it straight away. Why don't you give it a few minutes and talk to us first and then see how you feel. What happened today?

Blossomdeary · 23/01/2017 20:26

116 123

This is the phone number of the Samaritans. Please ring them. They will be happy to talk for as long as you need. I hope that you will feel more in control soon.

Pallisers · 23/01/2017 20:26

Maybe put an elastic band around your wrist and ping it against your skin?

Missdread · 23/01/2017 20:30

You're so brave for posting OP. We are here holding your hand. Whatever happened today you can overcome it. Please give the Samaritans a call. Let us know you are still here and okay xx

RedOrangeGoldLeaf · 23/01/2017 20:34

Would an alternative be helpful? Like holding an ice cube? Or walking, fast, or any exercise really. The endorphins might help.

Discopanda · 23/01/2017 20:37

Tear some paper, throw something that won't break, I used to self-harm and when I have awful days I have to do something physical with my hands. Hope you're OK OP xx

MollyHuaCha · 23/01/2017 20:43

Can you draw how you are feeling on paper?

velocitygir1 · 23/01/2017 20:45

I'm an 'ex' self harmer (is there such a thing?) if you need to talk I'm here...vant all you want!

Punch a pillow, scream, rip up a newspaper, take a shower, go for a walk. Hell even smoke a fag!! Sometimes I do this as it gives me something to do with my hands and I don't smoke!!!

I find writing also helps...write write and write, let it all come out that way.

I truly hope you are ok.

JustHavinABreak · 23/01/2017 20:45

Are you still here? You don't have to say anything, maybe just let us know you're still reading. We can just keep you company

Original poster
Resetyourpassword · 23/01/2017 20:51

I'm still here. I had to go and comfort my lo who is really struggling today and my lack of ability to help is part of why I feel so sad.

OP posts:
TheProblemOfSusan · 23/01/2017 20:51

Do you know about the ice cube trick? You can hold one or press it to you and because it's so cold it will hurt but not do damage.

Of course given that's it's been so long you might not want to even do that. Is there anything else at all that might help? Distraction like angry drawing or screaming into a pillow. A run? I'm sorry you're feeling badly.

Original poster
Resetyourpassword · 23/01/2017 20:52

I think more than anything I feel scared that I could even think about it again. And want to do it again. I thought it was all behind me.

Haven't done anything. Just crying at the moment.

OP posts:
JustHavinABreak · 23/01/2017 20:58

You poor pet. Don't be so hard on yourself. Thinking about something is not the same as doing it. It takes a very strong person to be able to acknowledge that this was your coping mechanism in the past, but while the thought passes through your mind to cope that way now, you find the inner resolve not to do it.

SandunesAndRainclouds · 23/01/2017 20:59

Posting here, not harming, recognising how you feel... you are still beating this even if you can't see that right now. This is strong.

Tryingtostayyoung · 23/01/2017 21:01

We're all here for you OP. So brave of you to post when feeling like this. Vent all you need

HughJarss · 23/01/2017 21:02

I think you're being very brave. You can get through this, OP.

Zafodbeeblbrox10 · 23/01/2017 21:04

You've had the strength to overcome this problem already. You are having a really bad day, it happens ..but it's not your fault. Not one of us is perfect, although some are able to make life look easy. You are a worthwhile person who cares about others, and you make a difference to their lives. Keep strong.

Elledouble · 23/01/2017 21:07

You can do this OP. Could you scribble on some paper or maybe do some stretches to work out that horrible tense feeling?

I'm an ex self-harmer too, so I know how you feel. And even if you do slip up, remember to be kind to yourself.

Original poster
Resetyourpassword · 23/01/2017 21:10

Thank you all. I want to go to bed and sleep it off but lo is still awake and distressed so I am going from trying to hold it all together with them and for them and then falling apart when I'm alone.

OP posts:
SandunesAndRainclouds · 23/01/2017 21:18

Have you tried grounding yourself? It's a common anxiety thing, might be worth a try.

I use a breathing exercise too. In for 7, out for 11 slowly and deeply until you yawn. It helps get rid of the adrenaline.

Wolfiefan · 23/01/2017 21:20

Oh bless you OP. (If it's not too intrusive) what's up with lo?
Lots of great strategies here.

Athenajm80 · 23/01/2017 21:21

This is how I've been feeling recently. I did slip up the other day, but mostly I've been doing things like pressing on a pressure point so it hurts but isn't damaging. Big hugs to you though, and don't be too hard on yourself.xxx