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Original poster

MN not working for me

89 replies

Spoo · 12/02/2007 22:00

Just wanted some advice on how to get friendly with mumsnetters. I do post but I don't seem to make any friends on here. It seems that lots of people chat away and seem to know each other quite well. Whereas I feel that I always seem to kill threads. I have lots of friends outside Mumsnet and am generally outgoing but I would just love to have some friends on line. Any advice would be appreciated.

OP posts:
Blandmum · 12/02/2007 22:02

Don't worry, would be the first bit of advice

I think everyone feels like this at first.

With time you get to know people and they get to know you.

I took time for me, back in the dark ages, when there were far fewer people on MN and it was easier to get to 'know' people.

GhostOfJuliet · 12/02/2007 22:02

you have just described the first few weeks of every mnetter on here. i confess that my real mn name is ghostofmumsnet (i've changed it for Valentines day). I'm called that because of the very thing you have written about, bare with us. you'll be one of the gang in no time

gothicmama · 12/02/2007 22:02

visit the bar- don't take anything personally - I think mostMners have felt like you so ar some stage

lulumama · 12/02/2007 22:02

come to the bar of an evening! we are a friendly bunch, and just chat about random stuff and pretend we are drinking G&T! bit silly, but lots of fun ! i started a thread in meet ups to find any mumsnetters near me and met a few lovely girls and their DCs, which was great!

just keep posting, and posting, and if there is a particualr thread or topic that interstes you , post on it, or start your own!

everyoen does the thread killing thing! i started a thread about it when i was very new and that got lots of responses !

hang on in there ! xxxx

fryalot · 12/02/2007 22:03

hello spoo. I'll be your friend

moondog · 12/02/2007 22:03

Spoo,I've never seen your name before.
Hello

People think sometimes that there are little cliques but it isn't true.

I would go so far as to say that the people who are on here a great deal have no real life rriends at all-unlike your good self!!!

We all kill threads.The secret is to go and attack another!

Dinosaur · 12/02/2007 22:04

Keep posting - Mumsnet is so huge nowadays that it does take time to make friends. Are there any things you're particularly interested in - arts and crafts or whatever? If so you may find that making a few friends on those threads first before branching out in the wilder world of mn helps. That's what I did, eons ago - I started off on Special Needs and then got brave enough to start posting all over the place! Welcome, anyway!

ScoobyDooooo · 12/02/2007 22:04

Oh don't worry i have been here for years & people still don't know me/talk to me, do i care? no because i just join in anyway, so tuff there all stuck with me

NurseyJo · 12/02/2007 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

fryalot · 12/02/2007 22:05

and you can always try the word game - you don't even have to talk really, just think of a word!

TheArmadillo · 12/02/2007 22:05

Its quite common for most mners to feel like this. Most mners (ime) don't have a close friend or group of friends on here, but just chat to anyone (though it may not feel like that sometimes).

Thread killing is something everyone gets paranoid about.

Those who people tend to know most about are very very prolific posters who stand out for some reason (whether they want to or not) or who have been here for a very long time.

Posters tend to recognise each other tend to be ones who repeatedly 'meet' each other on the same threads for a long time.

Original poster
Spoo · 12/02/2007 22:06

WOW - best response ever. I have been a member for a while but I have been sporadic. Now I am a WAHM I think I will be in MN a lot more.
BTW - mine's a archers on ice please

OP posts:
Posey · 12/02/2007 22:07

I used to feel like you. I almost gave up, but nearly 4 years later I'm still here.
I pop in most days and add to threads and start new ones, and kill my share too. But I don't belong to any gang or clique. I recognise names, alot of people must recognise mine, but I'm not well known IYSWIM.
There are so many people on here, so many name changers, its hard to keep track. Just keep on posting and don't worry (unless you post something really contraversial though it would get you noticed!!)

Just post where you feel comfortable and enjoy yourself

lulumama · 12/02/2007 22:09

look for the thread entitled

@@@ BBAARR IS OPEN @@@

see, know lots of people will remember you !

morningpaper · 12/02/2007 22:10

Hello Spoo!

handlemecarefully · 12/02/2007 22:13

lol Moondog at "I would go so far as to say that the people who are on here a great deal have no real life friends at all-unlike your good self!!!" - I am a great admirer of your forthright and direct approach

moondog · 12/02/2007 22:14

hmc..maybe I include myself in this sad category??????

Original poster
Spoo · 12/02/2007 22:15

I do recognise most of your names. I do like the profiles - they help you know who you are talking to. Will look out for the bar in the evenings. How do most people search for postings is it through the last 15 mins?

OP posts:
fryalot · 12/02/2007 22:16

I always search "active conversations" unless I'm looking for something specific.

Skyler · 12/02/2007 22:16

It took me ages to leave my safe ante-natal thread so you are doing better than me anyway.
Oh and Hello!

Skyler · 12/02/2007 22:17

Yes, active convos here too after 'threads I am on'

Flumpytina · 12/02/2007 22:17

Is the bar open to any one? Whenever I have a little lurk it always seems to be a private members club (you even know what drinks each other have). I'm too scared to post on there...or am I being daft!!

ishouldbeironing · 12/02/2007 22:19

Scoobydoo

You are my first ever posting I hope that you are okay - you have to keep posting to get recognised unfortunately

Flumpytina · 12/02/2007 22:20

Oh yes, does the bar belong to someone in particular, and is it officially opened at a particular time?

fryalot · 12/02/2007 22:21

flumpy - just go in and say hello.