Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

MN not working for me

89 replies

Spoo · 12/02/2007 22:00

Just wanted some advice on how to get friendly with mumsnetters. I do post but I don't seem to make any friends on here. It seems that lots of people chat away and seem to know each other quite well. Whereas I feel that I always seem to kill threads. I have lots of friends outside Mumsnet and am generally outgoing but I would just love to have some friends on line. Any advice would be appreciated.

OP posts:
funnypeculiar · 13/02/2007 13:57

Spoo - I just waved at you on another thread ... did you see me?!?!

Stargazer · 13/02/2007 14:03

Hi Spoo - I've been on MN since 2001 (I found it hard to believe, but there it is). I'm a regular lurker and post on threads that interest me, intrigue me or sometimes infuriate me!! I think I've killed loads of threads in my time, but that doesn't stop me popping in on a daily (two or three times a day) basis. I've found lots of helpful tips and laughed out loud at some posts (love fanjo ). Keep on posting.

Mellowma · 13/02/2007 14:06

Message withdrawn

FirstAtForty · 13/02/2007 14:33

phew - thought I'd killed this one

Perhaps MN should have a search option for 'Threads I've Killed'

J20BABY · 13/02/2007 14:47

bar? what bar? where's the bar?!? drooling at the thought of virtual alcohol!

oh hi Spoo, i got ignored a few times when i joined, just carried on giving my opinion

anyway back to the bar, how do you find it?, what time does it come alive?

fryalot · 13/02/2007 14:51

look for @@@ BBAARR IS OPEN @@@ and just go in. Lots of others did last night and it was good. If you say that you're new, everyone will say hello. It usually opens early on in the evening. But there is a tea shop for during the day.

boredwithwaitingforminiMOSSY · 13/02/2007 14:53

Spoo I'm pretty new here and after a brief stint where I just stuck to my ante-natal thread and asking the odd question on the pregnancy / childbirth thread, I decided to throw myself into it and post on loads of active convos!

And I even started my very own non-pregnancy related threads, one on cricket and one on Doctor Who, of which I'm very proud!

Sometimes I'm totally ignored and sometimes not but I don't care! Plus the bar is nice and welcoming, just look for a thread entitled @@@BAAAAR IS OPEN!@@@ usually early evening and everyone will say hello to you there!!!

(I still steer clear of anything really controversial though, unless it's to do with dogs!!!)

SmileysPeople · 13/02/2007 15:05

Hi Spoo!!

I'm a newbie, as has been pointed out to me very disparagingly in the past few days.

Some people obviously do know each other, which can make you feel an outsider, but there are also loads who don't and I think most people are often more interested in the discussion and what you say rather than who you are.

There are lots of people on here I think I would like to know in RL, but I have to stop myself and think (and DH points it out) it's not RL and it can take up too much time so RL friendships are neglected.

I've tried to overcome this by getting RL friends to start MNetting, but to no avail yet!!

fryalot · 13/02/2007 15:07

I've seen you around on here Smiley, and didn't realise you were new

SmileysPeople · 13/02/2007 15:10

Hi Sqounk.

I'm brand spanking new. Well,4months...that seems to be still on probation in MN terms.

I'm giving up soon though...I can stop whenever I like....

fryalot · 13/02/2007 15:11

me too..... In fact, I have given up regularly. Every other week or so.

SmileysPeople · 13/02/2007 15:13

Yeah I gave up on Sunday

When I was on here again last night Dh is rolling his eyes and I'm saying 'but there's a women whose son is being bullied...'!!

He just about tolerates it.

Saturn74 · 13/02/2007 15:14

Hello Spoo!

fryalot · 13/02/2007 15:14

my dp laughs at me - tells everyone I'm on the computer talking about teletubbies (because once I was stupid enough to tell him about a thread on here!!!) Anyway, once I gave up for about nine hours - and I was only asleep for seven of them.

TeeCee · 13/02/2007 15:17

I think everyone who joins feels this way though, it's HUGE with hundreds of threads moving around all teh time.

For me I found a home on teh special needs section, it's very small and friendly over there so was easy to get to know people and we all had something on common so again very easy to chat to each other.

The I ventured into the main area of mumsnet and afer a while things happened with certain mumsnetters and friendships slowly formed.

Like when Beetroot lost her dear friend. I really felt for her and we connected. Since then every time I see her name it's like bumoing into a good mate and we chat, we have also since had the pleaseure of meeeting and I can see who i'm talkign to now as well.

Same with Blu and Hunker and a few others. Certain conversations were struck up, they supported me when I was low and have always been there for me. Again, I've met both of them since and that just helps with our mn chats.

There are other posters and you just start 'seeing' them around a lot and you realise you like each others style and get a vibe and you get on with each other. I have loads of popel like thta on here, but it takes time. I've been here for 4 years. Just relax and enjoy it and after a while you'll get to know people and visa versa.

Mumsnet is a really kind and generous place fullof great support and advice, stick with it

stevie74 · 13/02/2007 15:17

Thanks for posting this Spoo - I've felt like this for ages. Posted on 3 threads yesterday & no-one has gone on them since...! Do you think it was something I said?

EmmyLou · 13/02/2007 15:18

Hi Spoo - have often thought of changing my name to Threadkiller.

The posters I recognise are usually the ones who seem to find the time (from where??) to post repeatedly on the long debate type threads that I only get round to reading after its all over and its all been said. I find myself sitting at home reading and nodding or tutting (as i see fit) thinking: where was I when all this kicked off?

Will look out for you! (But you have to look out for me too though )

trying2bgood · 13/02/2007 15:20

Spoo- as others have said just keep posting esp in threads that interest you or ones that cover the area you are from and then bam suddenly you are one of those that knows others too!!! I am also a killer of threads, part of the reason is that I do not post very regularly due to RL hence always post when the thread has more or less run its course - still feel like a billy no mates though!!!!!

Walnutshell · 13/02/2007 15:24

Glad I saw this. Have to leave a post now so that I'm on this ELITE thread as am also a bit of a no-mates! Maybe you have to posts loads ... I just don't have time!

HELLO SPOO!!! I'll look out for you!

Walnutshell · 13/02/2007 15:31

Have I killed the unkillable thread full of threadkillers? Do I get a prize?

fryalot · 13/02/2007 15:33

nope

Walnutshell · 13/02/2007 15:46

What, no prize or just thisthreadnotdeadyet?

Look, if you're not going to let me murder this one squonk, I'll only find another!

Nip · 13/02/2007 15:55

Girls, girls, girls, lets not argue and i'll kill it for you!

Walnutshell · 13/02/2007 16:05
Nip · 13/02/2007 16:15

HA HA HA - This is just getting childish now! I'll let you kill this one!