Wrists Bitches unite

[WristBoundLatexBitch]

Here is our special place

Also, apologies for hijacking! As you were

once I so get that wanting to curl up in a ball -I force myself to do stuff but it is so hard. And it is exhausting -so much harder when it takes all your strength just to get the hoover out.
Mine is 'just' depression - no anxiety thank goodness. Although I'm actually being assessed for ADHD ...DC has it and I think I do too -which makes being organised/together a battle at the best of times - when depression hits I completely lose it ...which makes me feel worse...hpoping a diagnosis and help with that will help the depression too.

Sometimes labels are scary. I'm in a scary label phase atm. Our eldest DD is currently undergoing assessment for autism. As I've found out more about it all I realised that 99% of her autistic traits I have as well. Spoke to DH and he said he has come to the same conclusion at the same time and thinks I likely just learnt coping mechanisms over the years. He said as with our DD he always thought of it as "an endearing personality quirk" so I'm going with that label for us both I think. He also said that looking back he thinks I manage socially a lot better than I used to but I suspect lots of that is down to him forcing me out of my comfort zone so I've had to adapt. Also he talks for me if I'm struggling and cuts me off if I go on too much when I shouldn't. Funny the things you just do but don't think about.

Also some of my traits are less obvious in me than they are in DD. For example her obsession is My Little Pony which seems out of place when she's almost a teen but mine was gaming and no one batted an eyelid. I'm 35 now and still fixate on certain games. I'd never really thought about it before. Shyness and social ineptitude put down to "timid child of divorced parents who was bullied" The amount I didn't fit in later in life I hid from my mum, she had no idea. Even now as an adult I would say I have only one real proper friend. I've never massively struggled academically but I do struggle hugely with maths. I'm definately a creative person as shown by my A in Media Studies and E in Psychology...

It's really odd to look back and realise I've been fighting a battle I didn't even know I was in. I haven't decided how I feel yet. I think overall quite proud, not just of me but also my mum and grandma who I think likely fought it as well.

A lot of that sounds very familiar..

Grinchy this is exactly the thing. I feel like I've had to fight this battle for so long, almost feels like there's something else underneath that I'm fighting against just to appear 'normal' on the outside, but actually it's that fight that is causing the top-level depression and anxiety.

My Dd(9) also has traits. I suppose I'm looking through both our eyes, as are you.

My Df has always struggled too, and I think maybe me and DD have inherited it.

It's exhausting! I sort of want to strip away discussions on depression and anxiety and see what underneath. ASD of some sort maybe?

Bleach,
Please forgive but what does ASD stand for?

Autism spectrum disorder. I hope I'm using it correctly, I don't know very much about it

My mum has a few articles about autism .. next to her file about me.. Should I be worried..

Bear I'd be more worried she has a file about you!

Hi Guys,

Wow its been busy here today welcome to once and must have read all the posts, and promptly forgotton whats been said, so appolagies, my memory is rubbish at the moment. Glad you made it to school ok salted.

I've kept busy today, walked to gym (30 mins) did body ballance class and swimming, relaxed in sauna and spa pool, walked home, did washing up, went for a drive with DH to a local viewing point, sat on a bench invthe sun and chatted about us and our relative MH states at the mo then came home and did housework. Just sat down now to catch up with you all, keep hopping up to supply little monsters with sweeties will keep me busy answering door tonight by the way things are going, hope I've got enough treats in!

Bit disapointed that CPNs can't see us till next week, as got myself through the weekend by thinking we would be seeing them this week dont know quite what I'm expecting thembto do, magically fixing everything with their magic wands would be good got councelling appointment tomorrow feeling a little nervous as that seemed to trigger things last week.

Oh cracking I feel for you. It must be so difficult

once and grinchy, that feeling of being exhausted fighting something you didn't know existed...oh wow that rings a bell, though I've never thought about it that way. The need to fit in and just be normal.

Today has been strange. I fessed up to my boss as to what has been going on and he seems supportive. So yay

Went for a bit of a ride and a yoga class, keeping busy but dreading going back to my friend's house, think it'll hit shortly that I'm not going home, not going back to DP

Tried to make a new appointment with the counsellor but can't get in until next Tuesday. Trying to take on board all your positive vibes meanwhile!n

b4nana well done for talking to your boss. Workplaces generally want to help their staff to stay well and in work, and support at work has been key for me these last few months. Glad you are keeping busy doing positive things, is it horse riding, I love horse riding, but not been able to afford to do it for ages

At least you have an appointment with councellor now, I know that ferling of counting down the days to appointments.

Unfortunately not! I started kayaking with a club a few months back. People are friendly, though have their own groups already. Still trying!

Some social anxiety coming out, lots of "oh god what if they don't like me"

If I could send you a horsey I would!

Thanks b4nana

Good about the kayaking club, highly reccomend a book called "Dare to Connect" by susan Jeffers for social anxiety.

Erm.have I got the right place for someone standing on the edge of a very deep abyss with own personal black cloud looming?

Yes still you have, this is a safe place for anyone with MH problems. Whats going on for you? I am struggling wiyh PTSD at the moment.

I've had depression long as I can remember along panic attacks and "anxiety disorder?" Ocd joined the mix 20years ago and has been a big problem past 12years or so.
Dp also has depression n anxiety.we don't live tog,he always live his mum.til she die last month,very quickly of cancer.he in digs he hates,but does feel can cope in house with nowhere to have "time totally to himself"" (which he's used to)and of course he's grieving.cept he do the angry child at me.I struggle usually nov-march and I just really finding it hard sleep(go off OK,awake less 4hrs and can't sleep again all night)am exhausted and seem to developed an instant rage button.not good when I have 3dcs living with me(12,10,9yo).I don't want them tread eggshells or have pur up my unreasonable harpy moments.I just feel very alone and vulnerable at mo and can't see how to push thru it all

Sorry its long n lots typos.stupid phone.he doesn't want stay with me as no alone time

Are you on any medication/treatment? Would it be worth seeing your GP for a review? I'm also struggling with anxiety and pannic attacks. Feeling horribly anxious at the moment, invthe process of changing medication and seeing a councellor waiting to see psychologist too. Struggling to support my DP who has depression and episodes of psychosis, as I'm in a bad place myself. Its so hard isn't it.

Welcome. Being much worse in winter months could be SAD? Maybe worth a read up as there are things you can do to ease it.

welcome zoo, sounds like you are in a difficult situation at the moment, I hope things brighten up for you soon.

I had some great news today! Got an appointment in a week to see my psychiatrist, after waiting 3 MONTHS for some help with my anxiety!!

Hey congratulations purple, that's great news!
Did you manage to get out for milk today?
Welcome stillliving this is a lovely place where you are surrounded by like-minded loons & we all much in merrily together. I hope your time here is a helpful & happy one!

And well done for exercising & talking, b4nana you are a model thread member today

Hi salted have you been out with your little monsters on the sweet hunt tonight?

purple thats great news

Feeling pants tonight now I've stopped being busy