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Wrists Bitches unite

447 replies

WristBoundLatexBitch · 27/10/2016 23:39

Here is our special place Flowers

OP posts:
BecauseIamaBear · 31/10/2016 07:01

Salted...
You do have an extra hour of morning light to get DD moving..

b4nana · 31/10/2016 07:30

Anxious, I don't know your background, but sometimes these things pop up, often when we least expect it.

Hope you had a good night's sleep anyway!

Thank you mus. I'm not really able to talk much to people in real life. He's been out with our mutual friend group yesterday and I see him planning with them on Facebook next weekend too - I feel so cut off. I can't confide in them now, he's gotten there first.

Thank you all for the hand holds so far. Finding it difficult to sleep as I keep waking myself up with anxious "oh god what if it's really over" thoughts every few hours.

AnxiousCarer · 31/10/2016 09:12

Morning all.

Was planning to be in the pool by now but salteds daughters not the only one strughling to get going this morning. Got a class booked at 10.30 so might swim after instead.

b4nana thank you really struggling to work out my triggers. I know it doesn't help right now when you are in the middle of it, but I am a big believer in things happening for a reason. If it's meant to be you will work it out, if not theres something better out there for you. You really need to sit down and talk things through with him so you know where you stand. We normally build things up in our minds and the reality is rarely as bad as what we imagine.

Purplebluebird · 31/10/2016 09:14

Good morning everyone!

I did put ice on my finger, but it's no better. It's very sore, but I hope it goes away soon.

B4nana, I hope you can sort your relationship out, it's so difficult when these things happen :(

Did you get your daughter to school salted?

Today we're only planning on going to the corner shop. I should take Tornado boy to the playground, since we didn't do anything yesterday. Will see what the weather's like and how I feel later!

AnxiousCarer · 31/10/2016 09:19

Morning purple at least you are getting out even if just to the shop. Hope the weather holds out so Tornado boy can tire himself out in the playground later.

saltededamummy · 31/10/2016 09:31
mustheshowgoon · 31/10/2016 10:28

Anxious I wish I could work out my triggers too. Sometimes seems to pop out from nowhere.

Work today - last few days in my old job (thank goodness because it's horrible).

Hope everyone has an OK or great day!

imcrackingup · 31/10/2016 11:12

Can I join? Struggling with depression and finding today particularly hard. Tonight I have to take DC2 guising with 2 other parents - I'm dreading having to keep the smile on my face, be 'cheerful'. I don't want to see anyone -the idea of going round and being sociable makes me want to cry Sad
Feel really guilty as well - I should be sharing the excitement with DC - carvng pumpkins, buying treats, making costumes etc but I am treating it like a chore (which is it is) to be got over as painlessly as possible...DC1 is older and got the fake isn't this exciting -with DC2 I haven't got the energy to keep up the pretence...and I feel terrible about it...

b4nana · 31/10/2016 11:27

Thanks anxious. I know we need to talk but I'm so afraid to hear that it's over that I daren't. I'm continually panicking and catching my breath and thinking the worst

I'm going to disappear for a while now to focus on work - been given some deadline driven tasks so will try to get my mind off it all for a while.

Hope you lovelies are having a good, or improving day. I'm thinking of you all

saltededamummy · 31/10/2016 11:37

Oh cracking, I am totally with you on this. It has always felt wrong to me, sorry if this sucks the joy out of it for some people, but I hate the false jollity of it. So please don't feel bad, you aren't the only one out here!

saltededamummy · 31/10/2016 11:46

How was the gym-&-swim, carer?
You're such a star for doing that!

cracking, could you do some exercise like some of the other lovelies on this thread? I know it makes a difference to moods, especially where we are feeling low.
I'm struggling with my mood today, I'm a sahm (due to illness) & being v slow with my household chores and have some TV on in the background. I'm going to do some physio soon, just simple exercise but although it's hard for me I'll feel better after. It doesn't take a lot to release endorphins, thankfully!
So can you give that a go too, please?

GrinchyMcGrincherson · 31/10/2016 12:00

Hi new people. Sorry I wasn't around over the weekend, it ended up being a busy one.

Don't worry I have no intention of wiring a cooker. We have an electrician friend who will do it for £35 (which is half of what bloody currys wanted) but I've no idea when he can come. It's my own stupid fault for not reading it properly. Some of the cookers had plugs and I changed my mind at last minute to one which didn't Hmm The old one had a plug so I didn't really think about it.

b4nana I think you need to focus on yourself. You need to ensure you get the support you need. If your partner can't help you with that then you may need to step away, even if just for a while until you can get on a more even keel.

I keep wanting to take up running but I never get out the door. I've done day and 2 of couch to 5k about 10 times now. I joined the gym but couldn't get myself there easily.

Today I have so many things to do and I can't focus at all as I spent last night being ill and hallucinating. It's a very bad day for this as I need to write out DHs change of circumstance PIP form shortly and that always wrecks me. We are back on him being in bed 18 hours a day right now (although not always asleep)

GrinchyMcGrincherson · 31/10/2016 12:01

I want to go back to Florida where it was hot and DH was well and I could have a pool in my garden. The worst part is if he hadn't got ill and had to quit his job we may well have been living over there by now :(

Purplebluebird · 31/10/2016 12:05

Hello cracking, I'm with you on the fake cheerful thing... It's hard! I second the suggestion to try to do some gentle activity.

We were all ready to go to the playground and the shop (out of milk), but the pushchair is in the car with my other half, at work... and Tornado boy is refusing to wear his backpack, and it's not possible to take him to the shop without, as he would run off! And the playground is too far away as well, it's a 15 minute walk which would take forever with him + along road without backpack is too scary for me, as he has no fear. It's sunny for once too so I'm genuinely disappointed :P

We did some painting instead, but as soon as we had put loads of paint in his pallet (correct word?) he was finished. Done some yoga with Waybuloo now though! DVD player broke, so we can't watch our Norwegian films :(

Mood wise I'm fine today actually, just mildly annoyed we have no milk and can't go to the shop. I don't like black tea, and we will have dry cereal for lunch! Fun times haha

Purplebluebird · 31/10/2016 12:09

Oh I crossposted! I take so long writing one post.

Grinchy Florida sounds nice, but isn't health care very expensive over there? Hope your electrician friend can make it to yours soon!

imcrackingup · 31/10/2016 12:17

Salted my exercise for today is cleaning up the house - around here you normally invite the children in...so it has to be tidish. And tonight I'll be walking probably a mile or so with DC...
Actually I got cramp in my calf the other night and jumped so pulled at the muscle. Its been slightly uncomfortable for the last couple of days -I drove a 10 min walk on Sat cos it was sore - but it is better now - hope it doesn't start off tonight -or it might be the final straw - I might just lose it completely and end up sitting on the pavement sobbing.

I also have some work (admin type) to do - I really need to do it, should have done it weeks ago but struggling to sit still and concentrate...I sit down and feel despair.
So frustrated with the bastard depression...
I would usually get some pleasure out of DCs excitement but I'm not even feeling that ....just dread.

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 31/10/2016 12:18

Hello all, please could I join you? I asked about my MH in another thread (link hopefully below) and was invited over here. Hope that's ok?

Not really sure where to start. I feel like I've been living with on/off depression for 20+ years that has morphed into crippling anxiety and a constant question over whether I am normal underneath or would still be like this even without trying circumstances.

My biggest problem at the moment is driving anxiety. I came very close to fainting on a dual carriageway a few weeks ago. Now any sort of driving sends my blood running cold and I lose all of my autopilot capabilities. URGH!

Anyway, hello Halloween Smile

Bipolar, BPD, depression or anxiety? Or all of the above?
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feeling_depressed/2767046-bipolar-bpd-depression-or-anxiety-or-all-of-the-above

GrinchyMcGrincherson · 31/10/2016 12:38

Grinchy Florida sounds nice, but isn't health care very expensive over there?

It is but the difference in DHs health when we were in the sun was MASSIVE. To the extent that he was forgetting meds, which NEVER happens here. It was literally lifechanging. He was walking without crutches, able to go out each day and needing to rest a lot less. The difference was huge. I would happily pay whatever the hell I needed in health care to get that quality of life for him. I'm working on it.

GrinchyMcGrincherson · 31/10/2016 12:44

oncemore It coiuld be one of a number of things but what it isn't is right. You need to take in all that info to your doctor. I have had to swap anti d's a few times to find ones which were right and last time I was very bad I had to take beta blockers with them to keep the anxiety at bay.

I also get the driving thing. If I'm bad I don't drive because it freaks me out and I'm not safe. I start to hallucinate and fantastise about crashing then think I have crashed and panic. It's not pretty. Luckily I have a friend and DH who understand and will take me places when I'm bad. When I'm on even keel I can drive without incident.

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 31/10/2016 12:52

Thanks Grinchy - I think I'm looking for something like beta-blockers to curb the really acute anxiety so I can move on from it. Instead of it becoming a cycle that I can't break.

This MH issue(s) is affecting my whole life now. The only thing I'm good at is sleeping. Please MH, don't take my sleep from me next..

Purplebluebird · 31/10/2016 12:58

Grinchy Sounds like a no brainer to go back to Florida!

I don't drive either, I drive in Norway, but only because I'm from a tiny place, with a small city. I tried to drive in the UK, but being on the other side of the road, and with higher speed limits, I simply cannot cope. So I walk or get a lift normally. We hope to move to a bigger city in the next year if I can find a job, then it will be easier for me to go outside without needing a lift everywhere. To be fair I'm too anxious for the bus at the moment anyway!

Oncemore it doesn't sound like you have bipolar (I do), as you would get highs where depression is not present, you would lose social boundaries and forget that anything has consequences. Whilst it's a fantastic place to be, the actual behaviour can be very destructive, both socially and financially (spend FAR too much money). It's a very complex illness, but from what you've said, it doesn't sound quite like it would fit you. Many people with similar symptoms get diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, though I don't really know enough about that to be honest. It's worth seeing your GP. I had to try 5-6 different ADs before deciding SSRIs are not for me. I am not on some other ones, Mirtazapine, and since I started ADs at age 14, these are the first ones to work. I'm 28 now, so it took a long time. What I mean to say is that it's definitely worth trying, and if they don't work, try some other ones until you get the right stuff. It helps massively.

mustheshowgoon · 31/10/2016 13:45

Welcome once and cracking

I also have betablockers and they do take the edge of the anxiety but I am about to try some more ADs to hopefully find something that works without awful side effects.

Been for a nice walk in the sunshine.

Trying not to contact (new and lovely) DP today as I woke in the middle of the night to tell him that I was convinced he was going to leave me. It's the current expression of my anxiety. Poor sod.

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 31/10/2016 14:02

Thanks all for the welcomes Smile

Purple I think you're right, certainly not bipolar I. The highest I get really is having a half day where I can do daily chores easily and without the constant internal battle to not just curl up in a ball. Emptying the dishwasher, wiping kitchen surfaces and pegging a load of washing out without it being a huge stress is a good day, though always followed by a crash later or following day. It's exhausting being low and anxious all the time, both at the same time. I have all this stress buzzing around inside but no energy to move. Urrrrghjjjjjhhhhhh

Purplebluebird · 31/10/2016 14:41

Oncemore I have bipolar II, and it's still very very high up, more so than anyone else I know! It's like you're on speed but without the drugs :P

You sound very down though, I hope you can find some help here, and with your gp! It's horrible being down in that place.

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 31/10/2016 14:53

Ah I see, thanks Purple. I was wondering about bipolar II but the only time I get 'speed-like' is when I'm super anxious and trying to usher children out the house, but that's an anxiety reaction, not a high.

Yes, very down. Roll on GP appointment next week. Hopefully he will have some words of wisdom so go alongside the MN wisdom here Halloween Smile

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