New back pat list of what we managed to do today however small

[notagiraffe]

Used to have a thread like this and it died out.
This is for people struggling, either because of depression or AD side effects, to be very productive. Let's pat ourselves on the back for what we did manage to do, not what we didn't.

Today I worked at a food bank for two hours. Very busy.
Planned a lesson.
Will teach for two hours this evening.
Cooked healthy tea for family.
Tidied kitchen and put a wash on.

That's it really. Intended to go into town to run errands this afternoon but was too tired. Not a lot but not quite nothing either...

Anyone else?

Hi I've been following this thread with interest and the other thread about lacking motivation.
I am on ad's but still really struggle with everyday life, working mornings, looking after 2 lovely but lively children afternoons.
I also have a chronic health condition which although well managed can make me tired and more prone to picking up bugs, colds etc.
I am just so sick of having no energy, no get up & go and feeling like I'm letting my children down. I have joined a gym but never have the motivation to go had some nutritionist sessions which were fascinating but I haven't the energy or get up & go to make the effort to buy the suggested foods & cook the suggested meal plans.

I don't know why the hell I'm like this, whether it's depression, anxiety, the medication or just Me! I just know it's draining and I am scared that I will be like this the whole of my life, not enjoying it to the full or doing my utmost for my dc. I have spent the whole afternoon flicking around online while they watch tv or play iPad games. No-one knows I'm like this. I am like 2 different people at work & home. My family think everything is hunky dory , my mum and my sister are highly organised people, always with everything in hand. I could never let them know the true extent of my failures and so I struggle on trying to keep up appearances and 'play the game'. Really I feel so alone and like a freak for not being able to carry out simple wife & mother tasks. I just don't know how to change this but I'm hoping to get some tips from this thread.

Giraffe I would appreciate seeing your spreadsheets for ideas please although my main problem is actually implementing anything!

Over 2 days, I managed to clear out more recycling than last week, collected my meds from pharmacy and took a longer than just the basic walk. (Though i had ice cream while out, so my arse isn't going to get smaller on that!) Best of all i realised I could walk a bit without extra pain (I have physical as well as MH problems). In 2 days I will do the walking out thing again, and build up again. i have done it before.

I had a chat with practice pharmacist on phone - and cried, and caused him huge embarrassment as he is a pharmacist not a doc!! but I also decided not to start the new ADs. Not yet anyway.

In fact on Thursday i will go and vote - and then walk. I realised today nobody did stop and ask me how I am. One of the things that's been stopping me leaving the house .....

Topaz - back pats for getting out on that walk and all the recycling!
Holy - you did the shopping! That's a priority and you got it done.
Tricky - welcome. We're all like that on here. We all have zero energy or motivation, spend too much time on line and we all want to feel differently. Today had to take DS to a hospital appointment and afterwards, was heading home thinking: I actually don;t want to do anything today. I have zero interest in doing anything at all. I just don;t care about anything. It's not that I feel down especially, just an almighty meh feeling. So did that talking to self thing of deciding if I don;t want to do anything in particular, I may as well do something I'll be glad I'd done. So am sorting out the bedroom. Master bedroom has not been properly tidied in about two years. (Wish I was joking.) Going to chuck out old clothes, clutter etc and do a deep clean. That's the plan anyway.

yesterday I spent all afternoon in bed online. But in the morning I:
made and cleared up after breakfast
went for a walk in the woods
washed down the paintwork in the kitchen
put on a laundry load
swept the floors
cleaned downstairs loo
did the rubbish and food recycling and disinfected the food bin

and in the evening I:
cooked tea
prepped and taught an adult ed class.

So it wasn't completely wasted

Tricky - I think L-Tyrosine is worth a try. It's definitely helping me feel less sluggish and foggy. Still need naps and still have none of that goal driven determination it's supposed to give you, and still drink wine when I should give it up. But it's helped me do a few more small things each day. Stuff like: ironing a shirt I wanted to wear yesterday. For years I've just not worn clothes that need ironing. That can be arsed attitude to tiny things like ironing one shirt or cleaning the fridge is definitely due to taking the supplement.

Thank you Giraffe. Is it like a herbal thing? I would have to ask the docs if it's ok to take it with the other meds I'm on.
Do you think there is a way to change the way we are for good or is it just the way we are always going to be?
I feel relieved to have found other people who are like this in this thread as in real life I don't know anyone like it so have no-one to talk to.

Giraffe, your Monday sounded utterly perfect. Friends, Museums, Walks. Wowwwww. Lots of 'different' things too. Life must be even more tiring with an ill DC too. How old is he? Well done for yesterday. I hope today is a bit more enjoyable. That sounds like a lot.

Yesterday was a productive but not fun day. I did 3 loads of washing. I struggled and won a battle NOT to get very down that the black wash of uniform (3 DC in black uniform) had 1 tissue in it. I went through all the pockets but must have somehow missed them so a ton of black trousers, shorts, skirts, jumpers with tissue all over them. It was one of those mental battles where I could decide that this can really affect my day or not. I think I won it, but it still annoyed me! I also did the food shop, went to H & B and bought some bits, made some mini rhubarb tartlets (had some rhubarb in fridge since before half term!! Parents just gave me more, so finally got round to cooking it). Was just pizza for tea, so I could put the effort into the tartlets (pre-made tarts and bought custard on top, but they were yummy). Hoovered and mopped downstairs. Did spellings with Ds1. Had people round in evening. Then fell asleep with ds1 at around 10.

Today is a lot more blobby. I did bring one load of clothes in before school which made me feel good (had left them out all night!). I had coffee with friend after school run which lasted a good couple of hours. Have been online only since then. Oops. Not showered yet. I do need a nap and then a shower I think. I need to nap so I can stay up to spend time with dh tonight, although I think he's not v well so I don't know if he'll be up for staying up. Boys have footie tonight so it's always a bit of a mad day and ds1 hasn't brought his homework home all week so will be a panic to finish it tonight. Grrrr.

Tricky, you will feel at home here. One thing I try to do is savour individual moments with my kids. I know I will forget them, but I will remember that there were lots and lots and lots of special moments. I do still shout at them, they wind me up, they do irritating things, but everyday there is at least one special moment where they do something wonderful, or look up at me in certain way, or I feel their head in my shoulder in a special way. Just trying to enjoy those moments, savour them at the time, and knowing I have had several years of them. That helps me 'connect' and also to feel more positive.

Merry that's SO productive. Rhubarb tartlets sound gorgeous.
I swear next time a tissue gets in the wash, I'll get DC or DH to sit with parcel tape and de-lint the entire wash themselves.

Tricky - it's an amino acid that you can buy as a supplement from health food shops or chemists. I think the only concern is if you are hyperthyroid (skinny and too full of energy already. Not our problem ) But check online. I'm taking it with Prozac with no ill effects. It's not the wonder drug I hope sit would be. yet. And it's effects are reduced if you drink wine. but I'm definitely more motivated to do small stuff. I forgot that yesterday I also cleaned the fridge and cleaned a venetian blind that had been caked in dust for over a year. Usually small things like that just feel impossible. today I'm sorting out the bedroom. So it definitely does help motivate. just wish it could help motivate me to do the big stuff too. Hoping it will, over time.

Dd is an expert in the Ikea de-linter, bless her, and it's never her tissues. Boys don't care so they go to school looking hideous, but it's not something I can make myself care about too much.

Giraffe, the small stuff adds up to the big stuff, I think, and vice versa. Small jobs ignored for ages become huge. Even rhubarb sitting in a fridge!

Tricky, starting with the small stuff is definitely the way to tackle things. I have started drinking more water, and bought supplements (not yet taken). The great thing about this thread is that we can keep talking about the small things and inspire each other to the bigger things.

I have been planning and wanting to paint my chimney breast and ceiling for ages. I need to first choose a paint colour and I haven't got samples yet.

true about small stuff becoming big stuff (and I hope vice versa is true. i have some Big Stuff I really need to tackle and just can't face.)

Today:
Shower & hair wash
Made breakfast and unloaded/reloaded dishwasher
Took DS to hospital appointment then to school
Called in at garden centre for a few things
Did big bedroom declutter: two tall chest of drawers of clothes; night stand full of papers, jewellery and clutter mini chest of drawers, under the bed. Now got bulging bin bag and two heavy bag of old clothes for charity shop.

Will cook healthy tea - salmon, rice and steamed veg and might go for a walk but that's it for today. I'm knackered and throat is itching from all the dust in the bedroom.

Today I need to sort the CA form and eat lunch. Get off MN first and dust off my trainers for tomorrow! I need to do more decluttering too.

It's so hard having MH problems and having to motivate yourself. I don't think other people get it. When I've been well, it's so very different. and fearless.

Well I phoned the doctors today! No appointments with the doctor I want though so need to call back on Friday morning
Other than that, I did the school run x 2
Made dinner
Washed me and the kids (depressingly quite an achievement as washing is one of the things I find 'hardest')
I'll get the kids in pjs and do bedtime, maybe sort some washing out and then get ready for work tonight, on the first of 3 nights
Need to do tax credits form really but it baffles my brain so will wait on that

Well done giraffe and topaz, slowly but surely we'll rule the world get there!

evening all

Well done to all, lots of achievements all adding up

I am feeling absolutely SHOCKING with my hayfever. It is so bad at the minute I've given up hope of doing anything more than making to bedtime.
I managed 3 hours sleep in total last night as I kept waking up feeling like I was choking.
Will hopefully back on track soon.
I feel so bad (from a hayfever point of view) I've even made a doctors appointment for next week...

Ah, Unicorn that is horrible. Sorry to hear it's so bad.
Holy I agree about washing. I absolutely make myself shower every day or every other day but hate the sensation of water on my skin when down. It feels like an invasion. Very strange.
Topaz - trainers??? What you up to tomorrow? Sounds like a back-pat activity

Holy, you work nights . That should go in capital letters on the back pat list!!

Yes, that's true! So hard to work nights and have energy for anything else.

Hi all,

Have been so lacking in motivation I haven't even managed to post here! DH found out his week that his current contract won't be renewed - he'll be out of work in a month so am a bit down and worried about money.

But on Monday I had a big tidying blitz in the 'public' part of the house AND cleaned some of it. Mostly because a friend was coming over and I was embarrassed

Tuesday I went to physiotherapy, had blood test and picked up prescription at pharmacy.

Today had meeting (in French!) with psychiatrist and psychologist to try to work out a way forward for me (I can't take most ADs and the only ones I can take don't help much). It wasn't massively helpful after that I was exhausted and didn't do much, had quick look round shops as sales just started and pulled out a few weeds in the garden.

I have kept up the eye drops, only missed them twice in the last week which is quite good!

Tomorrow I will try to do more!

Big back pat for all those huge achievements (need back patting emoji)

I've just managed to order some flowers for my mother for her birthday on Friday (she's overseas). Earlier this evening I sorted out some paperwork for my teaching work I'm trying to build up which is a big plus - meeting a prospective new student tomorrow so fingers crossed.

And I'm resisting the temptation to start listing all the things I meant to do and haven't done today ... Time (and some!) for bed!

Python - biggest back pat of all for not focusing on what you haven't done and instead focusing on what you did achieve.
Mountain that sounds as though you are a bit isolated - having therapy in a foreign language - oh - that's so hard! Massive back pat for even bothering. And for the eye drops. Is there other work your OH can do/tout for in the mean time?
DH and I are also both freelance and the constant hand to mouth, never able to plan anything life is quite draining (which we discussed the other day on a gorgeous long walk across the heath and through the woods in the sunshine while everyone else was working, so there are perks - we know that.)

Focus on the perks, definitely. I feel jelly drained today bit did nothing yesterday. It's that odd feeling of tired of everything but not actually tired. Not sure if it's the weather (rainy and grey here) or anxiety about the referendum and whether I've upset people with some things I've posted. Or whether the laziness of has to me. I've cancelled today's tuition, I can't face the nearly 2hr round trip. The positive is Dh is working from home so I can't sit on internet all day! I think I'll get some paint samples. Will update back pat list later.

Hi Merry, - I have days and days and days like that. I don't like to think too hard about it, but two years or more when most days have been exactly that. It's so demoralising. 'Jelly drained' is a perfect description.

I know I'm being a bit of a mad-eyed evangelist about this but honestly, Tyrosine is worth a go. Today already I've: stripped bed and put on wash load, tidied kitchen and unloaded reloaded dishwasher, mopped kitchen floor (very quickly); clean inside microwave; cleaned bathroom (quick once over including mirrors and loo) cleaned bedroom windows and polished wood furniture, prepared tonight's dinner, done a spot of weeding. That's a much as I manage in a week mostly. None of it hard work, most of it a bit slapdash but I've started chipping away at those jobs that hadn't been done for months and can only think it's the tyrosine working with the Ads to get rid of that horrible, muggy, doped up feeling that I'd had for months on end.

Wish it would start working on my actual career work as that is still sliding downhill due to lack of application. But this is better than doing nothing at all, which is all I was good for before.

Hi, can I join? I need some positivity in my life. I am in my first week on ADs and really really struggling. Side effects so far are really getting me down and one of the side effects seems to be actually lowering my mood for no reason. As in im sitting feeling weepy and miserable over nothing.
My accomplishments each day are quite small. So far today I managed to get out of bed despite feeling sick and having a raging headache, have some food and a cup of ginger tea. Going to go and sit in the garden with my dog and possibly go on a short walk with him, depending on how I feel.

Hi everyone, great thread, seems some of you are my twin can I join too?

I am struggling with a poorly baby today but I have done -
Breakfast
School run
Washing up
Watered plants
Lunch

Hi girafe (how we going to tell each other apart now?) and Lily - welcome. Hope the ADs kick in soon Lily and the baby recovers, Girafe.

Lily big back pats for sitting in garden (Vitamin D on skin to raise mood and energy) with dog (also good for mood! ) and drinking ginger tea (healthy self care) That's all great stuff when you're down.

girafe - back pats for all that - especially watering plants - so easy to overlook when you're knackered.

giraffe thanks for replying... Yes I am a bit isolated! I do have therapy with a native English speaker thank goodness but my psychiatrist only speaks French. I'm reasonably fluent after 12 years here but it's still hard work in some situations. DH actually works in another country so is away in the week. He is looking for other contracts and has possibilities lined up but nothing nearby at the moment, so likely he will still be a weekly commuter. I am a freelancer too, though not working at the moment due to physical and mental health issues. It's hard isn't it... Lots of good things about it but the hand to mouth bit is difficult. It seems for us we are either in boom or bust territory! Sorry have rambled on a bit, apologies for derailing....

Was interested about the l-tyrosine. I actually have some! It was recommended to me ages ago but I read that I should keep it for really bad days when I could barely stand up and not to take it regularly, not sure why! I think I will try it again. Does it help with mood too or just energy?

Will be back later with some achievements I hope!

Hi to the new people, sorry I can't scroll back up for names, tablet is being an ass

So...ok day, came home from work, picked ds1 up, did dinner and took them to the park for a run around, trying to do bed now though and I'm knackered so they're playing for time really