Keeping it real in the depersonalisation/derealization hang out thread

[JeepersMcoy]

Following a thread in Chat where a few people have said they suffer from depersonalisation and derealization issues I thought it would be nice to move the conversation to somewhere a bit safer and out of the Chat traffic. It has really helped me to just hear that there are other people out there who feel how I feel and I would love to be able to come and share good days and bad days with you all.

Biscuits, cakes and nibble are provided along with a selection of hot and cold, alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages (all dietary requirement catered for). Pull up a chair and and together we can attempt to hold onto some semblance of reality.

Smoke and mirrors.... My life summed up

My current diagnosis is Anxiety Disorder and Depression, sorry Marvin I said I didn't have a diagnosis.
I take 30mg citalopram and have a stash of Xanax for emergencies.

My busy day was banjaxed by my car dying about half a mile from my house.
Nothing can be done until Monday and I luckily haven't the energy to worry right now.

Hi tiger

How is everyone doing today

Got to go to therapy. Feeling detached. Little ones crying.

I am 1400 words to go on my dissertation ... It's like pulling teeth. DD is in her mid twenties and has SEN - she has just hind for a job interview. A colleague I mentor is being assessed this morning.

I am not stressed I don't have a dry mouth and I don't have a headache .... Oh fuck it who am I kidding?!

I'm tired. I'm also procrastinating wildly on doing an exercise my therapist wanted me to do before my next appointment which is on Thursday. I know I just need to get on with it but I keep ending up hanging out on mn and going to bed early instead.

Hope therapy went well Alice

How's the procrastination Jeepers

And I hope your day smoothed out tiger

I've been very (for me) busy.
Nothing too major but lots of juggling and organising.
Has felt good to be productive, to close a few open ended practical tasks.

Meeting with work was OK. My union can act on my behalf so I'm glad I don't have to be proactive.

Have been in the garden a lot, the weather has settled me down.

And I've been listening to music purely for pleasure.... Which is wonderful.
It's normally used to control my anxiety/low level mania.

Room all went well thank you!

DD says she thinks she did ok with her interview

Colleague got a fab grade so I am now the best mentor in the world

I didn't do much re dissertation but I did make a fab curry for tea!

Sounds like a great day for both of you tiger and room.

I have done my task, which was just to write about how I might go about turning a colleague into a friend. Sounds silly that it was so hard to make myself even think about it. It was almost like a physical block that stopped my from even contemplating the idea of asking someone out for a coffee. Not even actually doing it, just thinking about it. The mind is a crazy thing sometimes.

You have inspired me with your talk of music for pleasure. I think I will now sit and read a book for a bit. Maybe even with a hot chocolate!

I'm feeling quite motivated with my diet and exercise, so good on that side of things. We're going away for a couple of days tomorrow, so very nervous about that. All in all a bit bouncy and high really.

I had counselling today, and have already forgotten what we talked about. Something more about past trauma, and also about the nervousness of going away.

Hi, hope no one minds if I join in here please. Some of the things you are discussing seem very familiar.

Hi boodles

All is good here, a definite good patch.
Keeping a close eye on low level mania, I don't seem to be too bad.

Lots of very good ends to things (projects, housing situation etc) that have dragged for months.
All this good news in a short space of time is feeling slightly overwhelming, so I'm trying not to get carried away ITMS??

Hello everyone. Haw have your weekends been?

I am super tired and feeling a bit down to be honest. I had thought I had my sort of manic/obsessiveness all sorted but it just came back at the end of last week and my head is buzzing and jumping about all over the place again.

Today we were out with Dh's family and it was pretty hard. I had thought we would just eat and leave but ended up having to hang about. I just wasn't prepared at all and found it really stressful. I am home now but exhausted and now really not wanting to go to work tomorrow at all.

Morning everyone.

Hope you're ok Jeepers.

All good here, very tired due to non stop rushing around.
Am carless which is frustrating but I'm trying to take it as a vague sign that I don't need to do everything by myself.
I could have moved most of our belongings to new house by now, under my own steam.
But I'm having to be patient and accept help, instead. Neither are things I'm good at.

How is everyone doing

I am now sorting out the references for the last bit of my dissertation. I quite like this bit as its methodical.

I keep having awful dreams where I am in charge of large numbers of toddlers and they all start running off ( I do work with toddlers but they are few in number and don't run off)

I went to the local library's rhyme time today and all I could do was yawn - a lot! I just wanted to lie down and sleep.

Ah well

I'd say the dreams are general anxiety about producing such a huge piece of work as your dissertation, loose ends and such.
It's a big achievement

I have been buying paint, ready to decorate new house.
I want to get stuck in NOW but we leave for holiday Friday so I have to resist!!
I have 101 other things to organise first.
Everything is stop-start at the moment, I operate better at GO-GO-GO/STOP!!

Hi all. I also think that sounds like a classic dissertation anxiety dream tiger. I remember having crazy ones when I did mine. It's such a big piece of work :)

I'm feeling a bit better today. Much calmer. I have a therapy session tonight so will see how that goes.

Gah, my therapist hasn't turned up! I think I have mentioned before I do it over IM and usually he is exactly on time. However, he cancelled last week as he wasn't feeling well and gave me an extra free session as an apology. He is very nice and seems pretty conscientious, so now I am worrying about him. I am telling myself he has just had a power cut or something and hasn't been rushed into hospital with some terrible illness. I really like him and trust him, which takes a long time for me to build with a therapist. I do hope he hasn't died!

Hah, talk about rushing to the worst case scenario. He would tell me I am catastrophising. I have sent him a message and will try and calm down a bit. I am sure he is fine. Maybe I should have a hot chocolate and think some happy thoughts :)

Well, he has replied to my message with much apologising and it turns out he has kidney failure and is still in hospital :(

Hopefully he will be better soon though and will be in touch as soon as he is ready to take sessions again.

I feel all sad and discombobulated now...think I will go make that hot chocolate.

I hope he is OK!!

Your reactions are probably a good exercise in how you deal/cope.
Doubt I'm explaining that well.
Kind of.... All situations give us insight and feedback on ourselves??

I have the loan of a car, which is wonderful, so have been moving bits and pieces.
I'm upset with my DC for not helping.
Between packing, organising holiday, making old house presentable for viewings, keeping us all fed and watered etc, I'm starting to get stressy.

They've both been really thoughtless by not lifting a finger.
We have a very long drive Friday/Saturday so I hope their attitude improves.

Am meeting friend for lunch tomorrow so will have a lovely few hours off.

Hey everyone. How are we all doing today ?

I'm feeling much better. I slept well ! last night and the sun has been shining today. Had a really nice day out with dd.

How old are your kids room? It sounds like you have a lot on and could do with a hand.

I woke early but I didn't mind as I needed to finish my dissertation

So I was sat in my pjs ( I don't sleep in them - they are my de facto outfit for writing essays) with a cup of tea in the garden listening to the birds - was lovely. Finished my dissertation - just need the last bit proof reading by DH. And then at 10am I had a call from my best friend saying she had passed her driving test. Which was fab news.

And then I got changed into my scruffs and went down to my allotment and dug some holes - I did lie down on the soil for a good 15 mins with my eyes closed. DH thought I was dead

Back home now and I have had a shower so just about to cook some steak for tea

All is good today

Oh I was atigerinmytank before - name changed because I saw this phrase and I thought it was funny