Life...over?

[Baysmum]

I know I should be grateful for what Ive got - Ds, dh, health etc BUT in a very short space of time Ive gone from being a single girl about town to a married mum (surprise pregnancy, rushed wedding) AND we've moved to the country. Does anyone else feel like their life is over? I've turned into my parents almost overnight, spend every evening watching mindless TV then get up and do it all again the next day!! Someone give me a kick up the arse and stop me being so pathetic PLEASE!

Thanks rebel, Im ok just...flat right now. I do belong to a gym but havent got the energy to go at the moment (rubbish I know), I do take it easy believe me - in fact, i think i do too little. Ds sleeps all morning so I get time then (albeit on my own faffing around at home) and my dh shops, cooks etc. I feel totally passive and like I contribute nothing to the family. I dont even know if moving is the answer as maybe its me and id feel like this whereve I was - is it worth uprooting the family again? Dh is so happy to be here and he does so much I feel its the least i can do to put up and shut up.

6 months can be long enough. I wanted to run back to London after 6 months up here but I'm very glad I didn't. It took a year for me to find myself again.

Don't underestimate the contribution you are making to your family, you are caring for and raising your ds - that's a big contribution even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

Never forget the person that you were before marriage and the birth of your son. Remember how powerful and confident and successful you felt (and were) then, because you are still that person and you still have it in you to be all those things again when the time is right. For now, you just have to accept that things have changed and find ways of making the life you currently have better for yourself ie find a job, cook instead of letting your dh do it, find a hobby, go to the gym whatever it takes. Eventually it will work itself out and you will find yourself again.

Moving to a new place is very stressful and you have done well to stay for 6 months. See if you can ride it out a bit longer. Must dash MIL has arrived!!!!!

Thank u CurseLM I think I just need reassurance that what Im experiencing is understandable and not ness PND rearing its ugly head x

Back again, you sound dead normal to me

You could move back to town and back to full time work which might help a lot.

Or surely look for work where you are, if it came to it? I believe they need teachers in the countryside too

My ds is 16 months too, I can definitely sympathise with you. I've been back at work f-t for a nearly a year now, but not by choice; dh is chronically ill. Having said that, by choice I would go part-time, I really enjoy having some time to be like a "normal" person!

BUT. There is a huge range of 'normal'. Some people love being a SAH-parent, I think if my dh were better he would have no complaints about it, as it is he does a bloody good job. Some people love being a f-t WOH-parent, knowing that their child is in a good and stimulating environment during the day. Most people are somewhere in between. I think it's perfectly reasonable that you look for where in the spectrum best suits you.

Baysmum i'm so sorry you've been feeling so low, it's horrible whatever the circumstances. however reading your posts, in the nicest and fluffiest possible way i'd say... count your blessings?! i wouldn't normally say something as crass as that and feel a bit but i just don't know how else to phrase it. it seems to me that you have indeed got a lot to be happy about. i know that mental health doesn't work like that (if only it did!) but maybe just stop for a second, take stock, and go back to your original post. 'someone give me a kick up the arse...' etc. surely that someone has got to be you yourself!!

your ds and dh sound lovely and you sound like a really nice lady with a hell of a lot going for you, go easy on yourself, sometimes it takes a while to adapt to leaving London - took me about 1 year i think - i guess that's all i'm really saying