Winter in the village - support for all kinds of MH issues - depression, anxiety, OCD, psychosis, bipolar...

[creamhearts]

I know the thread is a bit dead but I thought I would start a new one and see if we can keep it going xx

Thankfully no slipped disc or nerve compression but I have disc desiccation (degenerative disc disease) which is what they think is causing all the symptoms. Another problem to add onto the list of many have to book an appointment with GP to discuss possible treatments. I've just googled it (I know I know) and there is a number of therapies listed including physio. I know I should be happy it's nothing far worse but I just feel so down and teary

Sorry I feel like I've overtaken the thread with my moaning today.

(((pulled))) no apol necessary. That sounds really tough. nothing wrong with having a big weep.

mermaid welcome. it is so hard working whats "normal" and what isn't, does your insight enable you to limit the damage to your relationship?

vitrix can imagine that's a v weird feeling. take care,

thanks snowy hows your day been?

back on the now...

pulled - sorry to hear about your back, I hope you start to feel better soon.

mermaid I also have a diagnosis of BPD and I am doing DBT.

Victrix you can focus on the future now and focus on your recovery x

Hi CIQ, lem snowy mink and everyone else.

I applied for a job today and have enjoyed a lazy afternoon, not back at work until Friday, phew!

(((( pulled ))))

Hi can I join you all?

I'm in a really bad place and wish I had the guts to end it all.

The gp has been changing my meds and I'm due back next week for a review of them.

How do you keep going I've been fighting depression for years and don't feel like I'm getting anywhere I keep coming back to this.

((((Pulled))))

Slushie- on my worst days when I can't figure out why I haven't already done it I try to persuade myself that tomorrow is the day, then I either decide to wait till the next day or the feeling passes.
I can't guarantee that it works but I'm still alive so I count that as a win.
You're probably feeling shit because of the change of meds I bet you'll find the end of the tunnel when they're more stable.

Ive been considering joining a dieting group tomorrow at ds school, just a group of parents paying £1 a week to weigh in and whoever loses the most at the end gets all the money. I can't deci if it's a bad idea, I spoke to my psychiatrist today, she finally called me back! I mentioned it to her She said "in light of your eating disorder I'm not sure it's a good idea to get into competitive weightloss" I wasn't aware I had an eating disorder... I know my diet is rather strict and ive lost a lot of weight fast but I think I'm still far too fat for an eating disorder label! My bmi still comes up as obese!. I don't know whether I should join the group, I'm debating It because I know that if I'm being weighed in front of people not only will I freak out but I'll get obsessed with trying to drop more calories and trying to lose the most weight each week, maybe I shouldn't do it but part of me thinks it'll encourage me not to cheat and I might talk to some new people.

slushie this might provide you with some hope
therecoveryletters.com letters from fellow depression survivors. Some of them are really very inspiring as they having been there , don't minimise the reality of depression whilst also showing there is light too.

spidey perhaps given the HALT advice (never be hungry angry lonely or tired (tall order as an lp with mh issues)) it might put an additional strain in you? But the idea of a supportive group seems like a good one. Are there any other options? A fitness group perhaps? This might be more enlivening whilst still encouraging healthy weight loss and socialising?

If I do go I was going to ask if anyone wanted to do the couch 2 5k with me, I've slipped so far back that I wouldn't mind starting at the beginning again and I quite like the idea of running with other people.

I'm not sure how HALT works... Im always at lest three of those things all at once!

Thanks for the welcome, guys. I feel better today and think writing in here might've helped. I think the extra meds I took when I got home last night helped too but I'm less proud of that. lem - yes, I'm due to see Doc on the 19th. Which still feels like quite a while away, but less so than it did yesterday!
mink, yeah hindsight is a wonderful thing, isn't it! I find that I have to monitor my moods and feelings pretty much constantly to make sure they are in fact my feelings and not that of the Mr Hyde character that lurks within. CIQ, my damage limitation strategy so far has been to just be open with him and tell him exactly what I'm doing if I catch myself doing bad behaviours towards him, apologise and cross my fingers behind my back hoping he finds my searing honesty somehow endearing! I don't know. The last boyfriend used to say life was never dull but I think even he started wishing for dull towards the end.
cream, do you find the DBT helpful? Some of it I really struggled with, and some of it has revolutionised my life rather unexpectedly. I'd be interested to hear your experience of it..

I've not heard of this HALT thing but it sounds quite similar to a module in the DBT course which was something like 'taking care of your basic needs' and it was pretty much the same principle - food, warmth, shelter etc. I do use it quite a lot if I'm feeling particularly crap - quite a lot of the time I'll just put myself to bed with tea and toast and the telly on - even if it's only seven in the evening. My bedroom is my bomb shelter!

i am in bed !! excuse is a dodgy tummy (true ) but just needed an excuse not to deal with the world today. My books came so im happy about that. dd will be thrilled.

Well a guy I went to school with and had a secret crush on for years while at school just sent me a message on facebook offering me a no strings attached threesome with him and his girlfriend... I'm not going to take him up on it but I can't deny I'm flattered!

Just had a snoop through his facebook omfg! He grew up rather nicely....
Oohh the temptation of revenge for what Dh did...
I'm not going to do it though.

Definately not.

I'll just look at those pictures on the beach a little more...

spidery!! that doesn't happen every day. did you tell him to eff off?

Erm... No....

I have shown Dh all the messages though.

Really struggling today. Nice mum in playground noticed something was up this morning and took me out for a coffee which did help a bit. But now dh is at home full time, home is no longer a refuge, a quiet, safe place. All the time I've been at home today so has he. I'm really tired.

wow spidey quite an ego boost
lem bed sounds veeeeerrry good.
slushie I know what you mean about feeling like its forever. The only way I can keep going is just thinking about the present day but its very hard.
mermaid glad posting helped. Your bedroom sounds great
mink thanks for the link - I am going off to read now...

(((Ciq)))

CiQ i am sorry you are struggling again today :( I know what you mean about your DH being home, things are fine with me and my DP but i can find him being around during the day can make me anxious sometimes, and other times calms me. But I NEED time on my own. That is one of the things that worries me about working.

Have felt poorly most of the day, bad tummy cramps this morning and generally nauseous the rest of the day, got up and had a bath at about 1.30, did some stuff for the school then it was pick up time. Still feel sick - Am wondering if its alcohol withdrawal, am on day 6 of dry january and six days without alcohol is the longest ive gone for a long time.

Glad you are feeling better today manmade.

Spidey, i just wanted to pick up on something you said about the diet thing - I can see while the camaradare of the diet group at school would appeal, however i hate diets - i need to lose weight and quite fancy the couch to 5k thing, I would hate to be competing with others with my weight loss/exercise though, another stick to beat myself with .

How are you feeling today pulled?

I decided not to do the diet thing, I'm a bit ashamed for anyone to find out how little I really eat most days and I know they're doing food diaries which I would have to lie in and that wouldn't be fair.

After a very long and very revealing chat it turns out that there was a bad 90s movie waiting to happen that never did when we were at school, I fancied him for years and thought he didn't like me because he never wanted to talk to me, turns out he fancied me at the same time but was too shy to talk to me.
Awww I wouldn't have had to go to the leavers ball alone if I'd known that! 16 years too late though, Dh has seen all the messages sent and doesn't care (nothing bad or dirty sent) and I'm never going to do anything but I do feel a few inches taller and ita been a rather nice boost to my ego lol

Hi everyone I replied yesterday but it hasn't posted.
I woke up today feeling pretty good (even with a 5am wake up from dd2) but am feeling like crap now :( it feels relentless. I tried to get in with the dr today but she didn't have any appointments and I'm at work tomorrow so ill have to wait until Monday now.
I'm on the waiting list for counselling but no idea how long that is, so I looked into paying myself and its £40 a session round here. I just can't afford it right now. I feel like I have nowhere to turn to get help.

Wow spidey that doesn't happen every day!!

slushie have you looked into online/email or phone counselling? It might be more accessible. Also online cbt.

If you need someone to talk to now, phone the samaritans. It is genuinely what they are there for. Good luck with gp on Monday. Keep pushing them and make it clear this is a NEED not a want.

I am still having nightmares. But otherwise much, much better for being back at work. I need routine.

Hi all

spidey that's such a good self esteem raiser! Glad u didn't go for though

lem hey how r u? Thanks for thinking of me. I've been a bit like u in wanting some alone time. I think the last few days have taken there till on me

((( Ciq ))) hope your ok

slushie l agree with mink, keep pushing the GP and call the Samaritans in the meantime - they can be good/awful but hopefully the person u speak to will be helpful.

mink glad work is helping and hope the nightmares go away soon.

Hello to everyone else snowy Nana manmade cream sorry can't name check all as brain slow but thinking of u all x

I've been back to GP today to discuss the MRI scan results. Been given some more pain meds and referral to orthopaedic's will see how that goes in time I guess. For now I've just been trying to do the normal daily stuff e.g school run. Pain pretty extreme still and tingling & numbness still there. Hoping it'll calm down with rest and new drugs. I just feel down but am ok I suppose, just got to cope somehow as life doesn't stop!

pulled hope the painkillers help. Not life doesn't stop does it double edged sword that one.

Pulled I hope the painkillers help.

Mink Sorry your having nightmares but good that work routine is helping.

I didn't know about email counselling. Do I just contact a counsellor and ask if they do it or is there a website I can go to?