Winter in the village - support for all kinds of MH issues - depression, anxiety, OCD, psychosis, bipolar...

[creamhearts]

I know the thread is a bit dead but I thought I would start a new one and see if we can keep it going xx

Hope everyone is doing a bit better, ive realised this morning how little h understands about me and how I behave and feel, i asked him if on Christmas day it all gets too much can he cover for me so I can go upstairs and be alone for a while, he said "but it's only family coming, you're fine at my mums with everyone there"
It's totally not the same, at mils I'm not the host, I can sink into the background and am not responsible for how clean things are or how much people enjoy themselves, have I got the right drinks for everyone? Will my cooking be ok? Will my table decorations be attractive enough (ive made them all myself, crochet bauble shaped placemats and coasters and made my own table center etc)
We rarely have visitors to our house as it makes me anxious to have people over because I convince myself they're judging me, my house isn't as big as theirs, not as stylish, not as clean, not as tidy, I have too many christmas decorations/not enough Christmas decorations will the bathroom be clean enough, will we get a new loo seat in time? (It's cracked and fixed with ducttape) will things go wrong and I'll be forever blamed for ruining everyone's christmas? Will everyone like their presents, will sils like the blanket ive been crocheting for six months? (I'm very slow I only learnt in March)
I've got six for Christmas it's the first time I've hosted everyone in my own home. But h thinks I shouldn't be stressed by it at all that it'll all be perfect and no one will care anyway.

sorry for all that. I think I needed to spout all that somewhere... Why did christmas have to fall in a bad depressive episode, why couldn't it have been a couple of weeks ago when I was totally hyper and everything was easy and amazing?

I know what you mean spidey, having asked my DP to come to the GP today all i got was raised eyebrows and effectively pull yourself together, with him not even mentioning today so i haven't made the appointment. I tried to explain to him that there is no crisis in our lives just now, but my body and mind is reacting as if there is, for no reason and that i can't continue to live this way, i don't have the energy - if only it would burn off calories, it would be some compensation!

I am very impressed and envious about the crochet - i have tried but only got as far as a cushion size granny square.

It sounds like you have put alot of effort into christmas and it will be lovely, but you know what, the only people that really matter are you and your direct family, by that i mean your DC. To a degree i hope your DH is right, that no one will be judging your house or hosting skills because quite frankly, anyone who judges those sort of things isn't worth a shiney shite anyway. Saying that, you CAN take yourself off for a bit if things get too much, he'll have to cover and he will, i am sure he would rather you take yourself off for a bit to recharge than be tense and stressed. You just say that you have a headache that you are going to take some paracetemol and have a lie down. You may not have to, but you wont be the first person to have a headache on christmas day and need a break!

I have my mother, my DD1 and her DP as well as dd2 and dp to cater for, my difficulty is chivvying them along and making the day festive rather than all a bit strained like they are there under sufferance - our dinner is always late, my DD's DP says fuck all and my mum bemoans her miserable life and moans and groans with back ache becuase she refuses to take the painkillers for her broken back!!! Oh the joy - but theres always

I'm glad your first day back was ok, creamhearts

Welcome Millie

((( spidey ))) ((( lem )))

Just coming on to say I hope everyone has a lovely Christmas, or at least a bearable one. I wont have internet access for the next few days.

Have a great Christmas SnowyMouse xx

Have a great Christmas snowy :)

Welcome to millie. I do hope you managed to get some rest. I was awake at that time but unfortunately didn't see your message. Do you have any rl support? If not you can always post here when things are tough, everyone is wonderfully supportive.

spidey it really sounds like you've put so much effort into Christmas - it sounds lovely! Fingers crossed nobody is judging you and if things do get too much your DH will just have to cover you. Don't feel bad about having to escape if necessary.

lemis I'm sorry to hear your DP wasn't supportive of you going to your GP. Did you go in the end? Your Christmas sounds very difficult! But you're right, there is always

At least no one can comment on my bathroom now, as long as they don't look in the cupboards it's all perfect. Even have guest soaps set out ready.
A few months ago I wouldn't have had to do any extra cleaning, I was doing six hours housework a day, I was desperate to seem like I was coping. Now toys a good day if ive washed up.

no drs appointment but got a fair bit done today.

i wish you all a peaceful Christmas

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas. Hopefully you will get to that state I usually get to - where It's Too Late Now Anyway , which I find does wonders in taking the pressure off.

Those who need it - do call on practical help (for some folk it's the nearest they can get to offering emotional help ), and if you need to, do go off and have a few minutes to yourself.

It will just be DP and me, plus a friend might drop by in the afternoon. I have spent two hours last minute shopping in a zombie state, still have wrapping and some delivering and some cleaning and tidying to do. It may not all get done Have DC coming for a festive meal next week - so my deadline for some of it is delayed till then probably the cleaning and tidying

lemis will you get to see a GP before Christmas? Please try and phone out of hours or something tomorrow, I can't recommend it enough. You deserve to have a slightly calmer Christmas :)

Merry Christmas to you all. I should be around at some point over Christmas should anyone need to chat, but if not I hope you all have a wonderful and peaceful (as can be) few days :)

thanks faith. i do feel slightly calmer today and i bought some cammomile tea which funnily enough does help. despite tasting like sick

Hello Lem nice to see you and Keema a new village thread has brought a lot of us back..........welcome to the newcomers too. Sorry that the arse anxiety still has you in its grip Lem - are you getting any meds for it - counselling maybe?

I'm not feeling great but I'll survive.......I'm not a Christmas person - too much faff for my liking but good for the kids.

Happy Christmas to everyone x

going to sort out my meds after Christmas. am stressed today but then so is 90% of the population.

Happy Christmas everyone.

wonders how ed and "somethingV"are getting on

Hope this doesn't out me but my placemats are finished... One job out the way 38873636738838 left to do!

Fabulous placemats. I've just dug the Santa plate out of the back of the cupboard ready for the carrot and whiskey tonight.

Ooh lovely placemats spidey :)

I've got that panicky feeling where all is calm but I really feel like I'm forgetting something!

I think of it like I'm a duck faith, on the surface I look calm and relaxed, ds throwin lego all over and I'm having a break after hoovering the room he's now destroying, underneath I'm paddling away madly tryin to stay afloat, as long as my outside looks calm and in control I count it as a success.
Make a coffee have a quiet sit down and try to stay calm, if you've for anything you'll either remember it or it won't really matter.

Hi everyone can I join? Hope everybody is coping this Christmas Eve.

My anxiety is really bothering me this evening. Just can't get rid of the panicky feeling, horrible :(

hi carry-on. ill join you in battling the anxiety. can't help but fear ive forgotten something vital to the whole day tomorrow. i wish it would justfuck offand letme enjoy my day

Hi lem - I know, I wonder how much it is affected by the pressure for "everything to be perfect" from TV, adverts etc. I was generally feeling quite well this holiday but this afternoon I am taken over by dread that something terrible has happened at work whilst I am a way. I am so angry and frustrated because I know that it is unreasonable but I cannot make the feeling go away!!

Hello all.
Slipping quietly into a corner.

Hi mink hope you are finding this Christmas Eve okay

Thanks spidey. I think I was worrying about nothing tbh. Plus I've now reached the point of anything we've forgotten is tough.

Hope everyone is doing okay this evening. carryon there is so much external pressure! However it's quite clear from reading here that it's really not the reality for such a large amount of people. This thread as well as the prayer thread have helped me so much to see that it's quite normal to feel anxious / depressed even at Christmas.

I do hope everyone is doing okay tonight and able to relax a little.