Winter in the village - support for all kinds of MH issues - depression, anxiety, OCD, psychosis, bipolar...

[creamhearts]

I know the thread is a bit dead but I thought I would start a new one and see if we can keep it going xx

(Lem) it's good that you did it though. Next time it will be easier.
(Cream) you aren't a freak.
I went to a friend's for tea tonight, ended up chatting a lot. Came home to an email that said I hadn't got through to a round of funding I was hoping on for my phd. So now I've got exactly a week to apply for another, and have to write extra things to go with it. I would have started tonight, but have just taken my meds and feel out of it, so tommorow it is. I just hope that I can get it done in the space/time left.

lem I felt like is earned Brownie points too from taking kids swimming.

Love is good luck with the application

Loveis - can you ask your potential supervisor to look over and help you write your statement for funding? my supervisor did this for me as did someone who i was trying for a fellowship with, in fact he wrote it for me. As far as im aware thats fairly common practice and they will know the right "language" to use, if that makes sense?? Your supervisor wil want the project funded so should help you with this x Worth an ask.

Thanks Lem. That does make sense. I'm having real trouble getting funding at the minute, but part of me does think that I should wait until I'm better. A lot better, before I start a post grad degree of any sort. I think it's just one of those things that means I need to think very carefully about. I feel really weird today. My friend has taken dd overnight and I just feel totally overwhelmed with how much housework and stuff that needs doing there is. I'm very very tired too. I feel like an absolute failure as a Mother. I started crying when my friend had gone with dd. My head is spinning with anxiety and all sorts of things at the minute. I think possibly not getting this particular funding hit me hard, but I have already started another that I can finish when dd is at school next week. It's all just such a struggle. Feel very alone and sick.

How is everyone else doing? Cream, haven't seen you on here in a while, how's it going?

Hello everyone
lem, loveis, cream, frances, silvery how are u today?
I have sun here which is lovely. Waiting for some friends to arrive. Went out for a walk this morning which was good. Feeling a little unhinged and detached re family situation, but am managing to get stuff done.

Bad times for me, being assessed under the MHA.

((((Cream)))) Hang in there lovely, it gets better. Sending you love and lots of prayers (if that's OK) to get you through this x

It's the end of half-term (thankfully). DD is off again for a teacher/parent day on Wednesday though.

Lots of really vivid nightmares last night. Hardly got any sleep night. Have been looking up scholarships powered by coffee. Feeling very tearful. Nightmares all related to ex-partner and dd's Dad's death. Feel like I haven't slept at all. Is horrendous.

sun shining here today too.
trying to have a restful day , having spent all day yesterday in a & e.
dh and dc are about to watch football ,so i might have a nap.

Are you ok Frances ?

((((cream))))

love -ive got a dodgy sinus node.

been stuck there for nearly 7 hours didnt do my anxiety any good
i only went as i was told a quick ecg just to check ....
feel bad moaning ,they were really busy.

7 hours is a long time to be stuck in a n e waiting, you must be really tired. I've struggled through today. Really struggling tonight. Nightmares really shook me up.

too nervous to go to sleep?

Yes, the dreams shook me up for the entire day, really distressing content.

Checking in, hello everyone. Ack, i feel pants :( Have had essentially a perfect sunday, Karate competition with DD, although she came away without a trophy (im upset about it - god knows why, she did so well though, first one and she was one of the lower belts so the other kids were more experienced - really proud of her that she even did it as she is shy and anxious like me, she made a tiny mistake and it affected her scores and a little bit of my heart broke for her (and so not a pushy mother so i dont know why i felt that way). Now home cooking a roast dinner - but crapping myself that my DP and DD are going to be taken away from me somehow - WTF?????

How is your day CIQ with the family? I hate that unhinged feeling.

Bloody nightmares - so realistic when on medication.

Cream - i hope you can get some internet coverage soon - thinking of you.

Thinking of cream too. I did wonder, Len, if it was my meds causing nightmares. Horrible things, I feel wide awake when I have them. I understand your anxiety, too. I too feel like I'm going to loose my dd somehow. Have been to a science museum today and then pub to see my friends for a bit. I'm really tired but dd is still lively!

(((Hugs))) to everyone that needs them esp loveis, cream, lem, frances

Am ok had lovely day with friends visiting. Bit knackered and now they're gone, but they left me with chocolate!

i have just fucked up dinner. :(

anyone else got floods?
just popped up my mums 5 mins away and the roads next to the fields are flooded.
i was really anxious, hate being in a car fullstop (cant be in a car for longer than 10 minutes ever ) but driving through floods crikey !!!!

love - did you have a better night?

am looking forward to this week
friend i havent seen in 6 years is visiting me tomorrow, my sister is visiting wednesday and hairdesser coming thursday.

(Lem)
Ciq- I always feel sad after I've had a day out or seen friends and I'm back to being alone with dd again. It's as though for a little bit of time I can forget the illness and just enjoy life a little bit. Does anyone else feel like that? Flat after.

I had a better night thanks, Frances. No floods here, just lots and lots of rain.

I have a meeting tommorow evening with my arts group, theatre club on Tuesday, my cpn on Thursday and exercise class on Friday.Dd is off on Wednesday again for a parent -teacher day so we go in to school in the afternoon for a chat about her progress etc. I'll be interested to see how she's doing as its now been 5 months since her Dad died and I've not spoken to her teacher since it happened. Busy week!

Has anyone else got things planned for this week?

ughhhh flooods - that out rubbishes my buggered dinner. Dp managed to rescue it anyway.

anxiety is being an utter bastard just now

For the love of all that is Holy when will DD shut up!!! She has been up since 7am and has not let up ever since. DH working late and other family members are having a rare day out for themselves. I feel like I'm going to explode it's way past her bed time ( I've been trying to put her to sleep for almost an hour). We've had countless stories, sing alongs and counting numbers

I can't cope for one bloody day by myself! My head is spinning (thanks to vertigo) and hurting so badly. Just taken my meds hopefully once they kick in I'll be alright.

Sorry for the selfish moaning post. I'm sorry so many are still struggling and ((( hugs to all )))

(Pulled) . How old is your dd? Sounds young ish. It's not easy to cope with them being so young and you poorly is it? Don't be too hard on yourself

I just feel like such a rubbish mum loveis with all the recent health problems I've been wondering why on earth God made me a mum in the first place. I don't bloody deserve her

You aren't a rubbish Mum, it's not your fault you have an illness . I can understand as I have a chronic pain condition called fibromyalgia. It took me a long time to realise that if there were days that I couldn't do things, then I shouldn't feel a failure just because my body is failing me. If that makes sense? Has she gone to sleep yet?