Winter in the village - support for all kinds of MH issues - depression, anxiety, OCD, psychosis, bipolar...

[creamhearts]

I know the thread is a bit dead but I thought I would start a new one and see if we can keep it going xx

ciq sorry I didn't pop back Slept well then got up then felt tired then went back to bed then got up and felt anxious about how I am going to get rid of all my excess furniture. Such small stuff compared to yours...

Wondering if I should go back on sertraline for a while.

Thanks loveis you're right it is v hard. Sorry to hear you're having a bad day, I have caught some sun too.

Have just heard my dsisters fiances dad died unexpectedly in the night. Things were already complicated between them. And fiances with dad was v diff too so very tricky. And my df will worry more about his kids.

Nana I'm still on meds following breakdown early 2013 (caused in large part by dhs depression through 2012). I have better support now, but he is much worse this time and my patience is running on empty.

silvery don't worry for a min. Hope you're feeling a bit calmer now

vicar sorry didn't mean to miss you. Are you ok - sounds like a lot of change esp re your dh. Take care

Checking in with everyone - had a nice day with a friend, marred by the fact that DP has just signed up to a phone contract we can't afford and expects me to pay him £15 a month for a fucking sim card i don't even want . Had it all worked out he did, just not that no, paying £19 pm for the phone then £15 for the sim card is not a cheaper contract as he is still having to pay the fucking sim card he has and my contract isn't even up yet - ffs It has shot my anxiety sky high, i can't ring him, why? because I can't afford to pay my phone bill so the line has been restricted. We were counting down to when we could lose the contract so we could save some money and he does this???? Is he actually stupid?

I don't have the energy for the row that i know this is going to cause.

(((Lem)))

Men are stupid. I wish I could say something more helpful

(Lem) is there a thirty day cancellation thing on it? Might be worth seeing if you can return it?

I've had a horrendous afternoon, full of flashbacks to my childhood and past and some one calling about an unpaid debt from when I was ill. Then tried ironing things and burnt two jumpers so I've left that. Feeling wrung out, just absolutely exhausted and very depressed now.

I think we can return it, i am just so so angry - its such a stupid thing to do, neither of us are at the end of our contracts but his phone is not working properly so he needs a new one, but not an all singing all dancing one. I don't have a bank account that supports card payments or direct debits, i need to have this so i feel i have a bit of control in my life as i rely on DP to pay my phone bill for me (i know it seems like such a small thing really) and there are other bills i could pay out of my small wage (£70 pw on cleaning job) to help me feel more worthwhile but i don't know if i will be able to have one with only that amount of cash going into it.

Love is - get some advice re the unpaid debt, if its over a certain amount of years they can basically whistle, they also, by law have to give you two weeks to get something in place and put the account on hold (can you tell i have this particular t shirt) until you have had time to sort soemthing, in that time you can put together an offer of payment that you can afford. Don't let them bully you, unless its a priority debt (mortgage, tax, council tax or fuel bill) they have very limited powers.

Back home again, hated being IP, didn't feel right at all. Going to try and make it work at home.

Hello vicar nice to see you here

Sorry you are feeling rough ciq hold on and seek help when you can

Thoughts to everyone xx

(Lem) I understand the need to be independent. Good on you having a job- I'm looking for ways back into work, but not much luck so far and I'm not sure what I could cope with a single parent. My CpN is reffering me to debt managment, I told the lady everything and made an arrangment to tide it over then review with the debt managment people. I sh for the first time in over 5 years a couple of weeks ago; all over debts I ran up at the height of my bpd/depression. Like you say, a small thing but it all adds up to big things dosen't it? I hopw he can return the phone though it must be so irritating him not asking you first.

I do feel for you loveis, re the debt - if you have any questions, please feel free to ask or pm if you want to. I know how it can get, we have a debt management plan and its made such a difference because we had multiple debts.

Cream, i am glad you are home

CIQ you are right, men are stupid - or like big kids! DP says he is going to send the phone back and managed to make me feel like the mean one I am sorry you are feeling overwhelmed, I was glad to get away from my DP too today with my friend. Could you ask your DH to have the kids for a few hours while you go out somewhere, off to a museum or soemthing?

(((Loveis)))
Thanks cream glad to hear you're home. Take care.

Well done lem and yes to having a bit more financial independence

lem that sounds very frustrating

love sorry to hear about your debt :( Can you go to CAB for advice?

Feeling very low again now, feel v.suicidal and SI-ey. Why am I such a dickhead. Hate myself.

(Cream) have you got a plan for managing stuff at home? X

oh cream, you are not a dickhead - you have an illness, it is ok to treat the illness. Can we distract you in any way? talk about general life? I am going swimming with DD tomorrow, not my favourite thing to do but she likes it. You crochet don't you? I started a granny square about, ooooh, a year ago, its only a bout the size of a cushion just now - it was supposed to be a blanket..... arggghhhh.

Have spoken to DP about the phone, told him to give it a couple of days before he sends it back i just think its not a good deal but he does need a new phone.

Support from crisis and trying to stay safe which feels impossible right now :(

(((Cream))))

lem I'm also braving swimming pool with dcs tomorrow. Not my favourite thing but they are v excited.

afternoon everyone
can i join?
really struggling with my paranoia at the moment ,its one of my main symptoms of ptsd.
its constant and controls everything.
does anyone else suffer with it or is it unusual?
i dont know anyone in real life who experiences it ,so no one to talk to without feeling freaky.

Course you can frances. That sounds tough. Personally don't have real experience of paranoia - I'm more of a depression and anxiety with some awful life circumstances thrown in. .. so while I can easily be slightly paranoid I suspect it's nothing compared to you. Anyhow we're a friendly bunch, hope it helps a bit. Take care

Hi Frances. I have ptsd and bpd. I suffer with paranoia and voices and visions too. My paranoia has ruined relationships and at times, as you say, controlled everything around me (and my thought patterns). It really isn't a nice thing to have, so I can empathise.

How are you doing cream and ciq?

Thank you Lem for the understanding. Hope my referal works out soon. I'm having a horrendous day with depression and thoughts in general. Very difficult and isolating. I'll be glad when half-term is over now as it's prooving a huge challenge. I haven't seen or spoken to another grown up since Sunday.

Welcome wfrances I don't suffer from paranoia but I am sorry to hear you do, that sounds really tough.

Can you get out love even to the shops to say hello to someone?

Had another low day, SIed, been to A&E, seen a nurse at CMHT and had some clonazepam prescibed so maybe that will help? Feel so very sad.

thanks all

love - i have hallucinations too , i hate them ,mine are very negative.
dp home now so feel more grounded and safe .(dont like to bother the children)

So tired tonight.

Feel very alone with my SI. I dont know anyone who SIs quite severley like or who uses the other SI methods I use. Feel like such a freak. Drs said some stuff (nicely) today that depressed me, why am I such a fucking freak.

(((Cream)))

Swimming was ok, apart from the changing rooms stinking of piss DD had a great timeand bumped into her friend so i was able to chat to the mum for a bit. I feel i earnt parenting brownie points.

I did however have a panic attack in town and made dd run home because it wasn't safe

I have just found out that DD1's father has dismissed her as his DD and doesn't want to know, no surprise but im fuming and sitting on my fingers not to message him or his new gf. (no point in hurting her, she hasn't done anything wrong but she should know what a spineless twat he is).