thread on which to be factitiously Mentally Normal (NOS)

[Mitchy1nge]

nobody was wondering but not only am I still alive, the horribleness of my back pain has completely stopped is all a bit tender and traumatised but hooray for me

and partial hooray for the weirdness that is tramadol I suppose

Got to wonder WHY these drugs are still being prescribed and who stands to gain from ANOTHER generation of children forced to slice themselves to pieces and suffer the lifelong struggle with suicidal thoughthabits implanted through childhood antidepressant treatment and ANOTHER generation with atrophied brains and massive weight gain from antipsychotics

Probaby another generation of fat infertile women from fucking adolescent depakote prescriptions too

I spent 15 years slicing myself up and trying to off myself before being given any medication so it probably works both ways tbh.

And the more I read the more I realise theyve known perfectly well for years what this stuff does and yet every kid on my adolescent ward was on paroxetine like some kind of fucking experiment where you lock up a load of kids with different problems, poison their brains and see how many of them come out dead or hacking at themselves with breadknivrs or addicted to heroin then stick fucking unerasable labels on them to make sure everyone blames the kids and not the system

That's true Caulkhead but they talk about epidemics of self-harm these days

I have no doubt spontaneous mental problems DO exist in the absence of medications, obviously

This is also why I'm avoiding saying anything to the parent on the thread I mentioned - it could well be that the risk if SH and suicide is worth it due to the severity of her daughters condition since unlike me she's already with CMHT and been receiving psychiatric care before bring tried on prozac

I've just eaten all the ham out of my ham salad and now I have to eat a bowl of salty lettuce

Sorry everyone, I'm just angry about this today for some reason.

And it also makes me pissed off that our struggling socialised healthcare system is PAYING for treatments designed by a psychiatric industry in a country where mad people are consumers with fucking dollar signs on our heads that it pays to make and keep mad and using these treatments that cost a fortune but serve to CAUSE and exacerbate mental problems such that the american psychiatric industry has a massive reservoir of mobeymakers who they can sell MORE drugs and make MORE ill and meanwhile the poor dumb NHS doesn't seem to fucking get that they're buying into a system created for the benefit of foreign (although of course British drug companies are also massive beneficiaries) business interests and perpetuated via a stream of publications and patents to make a cycle of profitable sickness.

And the only way I can clear my name and get hold of the old tried and tested drugs I need for my medically induced depression is to engage with the very system that caused the harm in the first place.

Grr, eleven goes to get blood today. Plus a practice nurse who spoke to me as if I was touched On the plus side, no more blood tests this year (They did several vials of blood, so they were doing more than FBC today).

medals all round for everyone surviving the brutalising regime of mental health care so far

in addition I actually survived Rodeo Joe, he was very very sweet and a pleasure to ride (although have to sit properly because he has a BIG buck in him and all my bum fat mysteriously moves out of the way and I end up bruised by own seat bones )

decided NOT TO RUN today and am not going to be anxious about it and that's that, at least PT will be pleased with me tomorrow for having a day off

have to admit, have never felt like I could run a hundred miles maybe because have never run more than 20 in one go in my whole life - I know people who have though, and even longer races, eg my hero mimi anderson

100 miles is an impossible dream for me but I did run to town and back for a tai chi class today and feel fucking awesome - off down the gym now; Wednesday is cardio day and DP probably won't bother going if I don't go.

would LOVE to do an ultra, or even a whole marathon, but for now am pretending to be content with the half marathon distance - which is a nice distance, doesn't take over your whole life

enjoy the gym!

have chomped my way through some red rice and quinoa, would quite like to go to bed already!

Housemate got bored with just focusing on her phd and impending viva and so is training for an ultra. I am not jealous. She is mad.

Lost my fucking wallet.

No idea where it is.

found my fucking wallet

WHY WILL DP NOT HURRY THE FUCK UP

I am a bit which one is she training for?

I was going to do one day of a multi-day challenge, either a marathon or 30 miles, with a friend who is doing every day next June but I still need to work on my attitude to some basic things, like fueling/recovering properly. It's harder than for the Truly Mentally Normal long distance runner. Although one of my brothers is v successful distance racer and his BMI is 15.7. Not saying he is mentally normal but it doesn't seem to affect his performance.

I can't go to bed yet can I?

It's in Texas. She moves there in feb.
She is very very mentally normal and does stuff like eat carbs for fun

No because I have to go to a work meeting tonight and want to go to bed and watch the apprentice so therefore no one else can go to bed early.

further if she is moving to Austin

but only a bit

could not live there (well I could legally and have plenty of relatives) but at least is never truly cold (although it does get Actually Cold A Bit)