Give me your best self harm distraction technique.

[CaulkheadUpNorth]

Just that really. If you want to self harm what do you do that means that you don't do it.

I've tried pinging a rubber band, talking to Samaritans and setting a timer. What else can I try?

Hi Caulk
Being wrapped up in duvets is wonderful. And my therapist was massively in favour of crying. When I apologised for crying through some of our sessions, she pointed out the box of tissues on the table & told me that crying was a really healthy way to deal with emotions. So good on you xxx

Thanks. I got massively triggered earlier and finding it tough to get past that without hurting myself. I've got to 10pm and I haven't, but oh my days it's tough!

A tiny bit of me is SO ANGRY with the r-ist and the rest of me reads threads that tell me it was probably my fault for not being cautious enough

I'm away atm with no blankets but the duvet here is epic so planning on cocooning up in that.

Cautious bollocks. There's absolutely nothing you could have done that would make it your fault.

Thanks. That's what I need to hear right now. That sort of reminder x

Rubbish, I sound sarcastic there. Sorry. I meant it genuinely

That's ok, I took it genuinely . And it's true anyway. Anyone who posts on a thread on here saying it can be the woman's fault for any reason whatsoever is a wankbadgery, misogynistic twunt, and the tiny angry bit of you is absolutely right.

There's a thread going in relationships atm that I got involved in, thinking great, I'm ok currently, I'll say what I think/my experience and then ended up reading everyone else say stuff about why it is actually, really, the woman's fault.

But I've managed to get through that and not hurt myself. Huzzah.

Ps love the work wankbadgery. Must use it more.

I just had a look at the thread, there are plenty of people there making good points, at least. Yes, wankbadgery is a nice one .

I need to go to sleep now but since you don't have a soft toy ATM, this is one of the Paddingtons who are currently all over London x

Thank you x

This ..."Maybe crying is the way forward . Yes, and sumptuous cosy duvets and rocking yourself and curling up in warmth and comfort soothes.

italics fail ^

Maybe crying is the way forward

Oh I remember moving to Germany with my exh. I'd had a 'naice' upbringing with blankets (I'm mid late 40's') then got duvets in the 80's, then got married end of the 80's. I'd lived abroad a lot of my life, pa in navy, but warm places. We had a big cold house. Moving there, with central heating, and buying the sort of duvets we have now, was a complete revelation. I lie in my warm bed, purposely keep my bedroom hearing off, and remind myself how lucky I am, that's a comfort thing for me. Maybe comparing to years gone by could help you, not as a 'grateful, why am I doing this' thing, but as a 'aren't I lucky, aren't I comfy' thing. I wasn't materially deprived as a child, apart from the freezing house, but I have a thing where I like to count my blessings, even now. Crikey, I sound a bit potty, with the buns and the gratitude.

Duvets are lovely. I've got the blanket at home as well so that helps. The place I was retreating to had underfloor heating which was divine.

Off to the walk in centre because I've managed to get a cut infected. If nothing else should stop me from cutting, the embarrassment of doing this should do.

Oh God yes, I had that once or twice and it was a complete pain in the arse. Underfloor heating sounds wonderful though. Have you finished the retreat today then?

Yep home now.
Ended up sh-ing today and the therapist sending me to the walk in centre. Who sent me to a&e. Great. Fabulous. Wonderful.

I wanted to say to the walk in "yes I know I'm here twice today but I am not the sort of person who does this".

I don't know if your therapist has ever said this but when I'd been clean for a while and was worried I might do it again, my therapist said something along the lines of 'If you cut yourself once this week, you've cut yourself once. It doesn't mean you have to keep doing it and it doesn't change how far you've come.'

Was it anything to do with your housemate?

Yes to the housemate.

That makes sense, about the therapist comment. Thanks for that. I feel like such a fool having gone there, it's helpful to think it's just a blip.

Definitely just a blip, I had them too. And you had the sense to get yourself treated.
I know this may be easier said than done, but is it possible for you to look for somewhere else to live?

Im looking. I want to stay seeing the therapist but that gives me a pretty wide circle of places to try. It's tough, feeling like im grieving the end of a relationship just a 7 year friendship

I imagine your struggles have not been heard in the past, and invalidated and therefore the pain has noone to go.

I hope thats different now as many do stop, gradually. So that is a good sign.. well done

Thanks sugar, yep that's it. I'm more I now with saying yep, shit things happened but now I'm adult etc. sometimes though that just falls flat.

Sorry meant I'm more okay now with saying it.

sometimes we are better equipped to deal with things as an adult, but sometimes it can be just pain without understanding, this would be a trigger i think?

We can't always manage to dismiss things, none of us... we all have some triggers still to certain behaviours.

To know its a gradual process is important, and like they say above doing it once in a week is certainly not a failure; far from it, its such an improvement and a reason to give yourself another massive hug