Give me your best self harm distraction technique.

[CaulkheadUpNorth]

Just that really. If you want to self harm what do you do that means that you don't do it.

I've tried pinging a rubber band, talking to Samaritans and setting a timer. What else can I try?

I looked at the website and was very good with information.

Or try it with thighs, calves, anywhere you're comfy with.

That's ok mymum, I'm the mellowest I've been for years!

I wish, Caulked. Ok, it seems easiest if I'm lying on my side so I'll do it on the sofa while watching TV.

Piper, I'm glad the website was helpful.

How about holding ice to the part of the body you want to self harm. It will hurt and leave a red mark but no scaring.

Glad to hear you're mellow, Empress. I started it on my side in bed, so maybe that's the trick.

Dh is now watching me like a hawk, tried explaining to him that I have no desire to self harm, but I did a lot of googling and forgot to delete the browser history.
He has even taken the medication cupboard key off me.

I did a mindfulness course with a local MH charity. Couldn't get into all the meditation stuff but find focusing on texture, smell, colours etc of things around me/what I am doing very useful when I am get in a negative thought pattern.

Thanks mymum. I'll get those buns of steel yet .

I know what you mean, Cirsium. I'm consciously noticing everything I can nowadays and it makes a big difference.

Piper, would showing your DH this thread help?

I talked a lot about it with the therapist this evening. We do a lot of stopping and thinking as apparently you can't feel and think at the same time.

I'm currently chewing ice cubes whilst writing this and having them in my mouth hurt in a safe way more.

Ice cubes are good.

The bit about feeling and thinking is interesting. I haven't thought of it that way before but it does make sense.

The therapist did some brain science with me to help it make sense. When I'm in panic mode as well she asks what colour things are to move me into thinking mode. It helps to count too when getting panicky.

I'm just telling myself that things won't be suddenly better if I hurt myself because that's true isn't it.

I like that about switching modes.

Completely true.

For a while I think I used self harming as a way of taking control. It was something I could choose to do and the one thing that no-one could stop me doing.

Then at some point I decided to turn it the other way. Keep control over my body, but start hugging and stroking it when I felt the urges instead of hurting it. And I wasn't doing it for everyone else. I was fucking well doing it for ME. And that's why it worked.

Brilliant. love it. Thank you for your honesty and for giving me a different way of thinking about it.

I currently find the "being wrapped in a blanket" thing very helpful. Just the comfort that comes from that. I'll try the taking care of myself. Touch makes a really big difference, and I can imagine it helping, alongside the mindfulness stuff.

Did you feel that you deserved it, and did it work if you felt angry? Feel free to pm if don't want to say too much or not reply if I'm being an arse.

Not sure if my post makes sense. Sorry!

I HIghly recommend hugging yourself and stroking yourself, you are in severe distress at the pointing of cutting or self-harm, and you feel the need deeply to be soothed. So soothing yourself, will calm and bring huge caring and relief to your sense of self. Yes, the blanket very much also... stroking your face... stroking the part that feels right to stroke when you want to hurt.

be gentle to you, and your post really does make sense

Thank you.

I've spent a lot of time this week carrying the cat round. He is very needy and likes being held. It's quite comforting to hold him. (Aware I'm sounding slightly ridiculous).

Still working on the buns of steel thing...

The cat bit's not at all ridiculous, cuddling and playing with my 2 dogs was a big help for me. And I've put "big soft furry blanket" on my Christmas list.

I didn't think I deserved it first, no, I thought I was a total shit, but that was where my fabulous therapist came in (and I bet yours does too). We talked about all the stuff I felt so guilty about and I realised that while there were some things I needed to make up for (and doesn't everyone?) I definitely wasn't headed for the ninth circle of hell like I'd been feeling I was.

And from there, I think, I started feeling more protective of myself and like sugarcoatedthorns says, wanting to soothe myself gently when I was angry.

Does that make sense?

That makes complete sense. Thank you. I've got to a point with the therapist where I can say "I'm an ok person some of the time" and we're working on moving it to the next level of just being an ok person.

I knitted the blanket, with a tiny tiny bit of help from the therapist. She can't knit, so it was fun to teach her, and is a bit of "us" (ie me and her) in my house. It's enormous, but so helpful and comforting.

Hi Caulkhead,
I also find writing helpful, as a previous poster said not about anything specific, just a total stream of consciousness. Even if it's just scribbles or writing the word fuck about fifty times over It's quite a liberating feeling and for me it can be a release from the tension.

I read this thread selfishly, to try to help myself as I'm caught in a compulsive eating cycle at the moment. I don't self harm, although it's a form of self abuse I guess.

I hope you're feeling better today. You're stronger than you think, I honestly can't think of any ways to stop myself from binge eating, I just do it do it do it, then I feel like the worst, weakest person in the world. I'm lonely too, in a house full of people. I feel so bad tonight. (I think it's amplified by pmt)

My friend picks at herself when she's stressed. There are so many different coping methods. How do people without unhealthy methods cope, I wonder?

Hope you're sleeping peacefully right now, op. :-)

Hi James,

I volunteer on a self harm helpline, and various food patterns and lots of other coping methods and types of destructive behaviour come under the umbrella of self harm. Things like cutting or scratching we would call self injury.

It's awfully common when you think about it in those terms I would imagine

Really? I would never have called a self harm helpline when I'm binging, I would have thought they'd say it was a completely different thing (and I was wasting their time)

I'm sure it is very common, we have a lot to deal with these days and we're perhaps lacking the support network of women around us. I only have my sister, and she's overworked and tired so I feel like I'm bothering her. If I talk to my other half he's mainly silent, no support at all so I may as well not bother.

Anyway, enough about me/compulsive overeating, I don't want to derail the thread. Hope you're feeling better today, op.

I didn't know there was a self harm helpline. I usually speak to the samaritians if I need to.

Things became a bit dicey yesterday but I clenched until I could clench no more and counted things and drunk tea. And this morning I have no I-cut-yesterday guilt. Huzzah.

Delurking here, which is quite scary in itself. Not sure if it will be of any help to anyone, but I play solitaire on my phone over and over and find it a distraction when I feel really bad, although I don't self harm in the ways described here, I sometimes feel compelled to do other things. The shame of feeling like that is a big thing to conquer so even ringing a helpline feels quite big.
to you all.

Oldp. - I play games too. Just something repetitive helps I think. Maybe there will be some other ideas here which will help too?