Bollockybollockybollocky HTT

[EnpoTree]

Basically I have to take bloody diazepam three times a day and be visited by HTT every day and even then the nurse reckons it's 50/50 if I'll need to go into hospital or not. This has gone too far. I'm absobloodylutely sodding fine and visited the drop-in as I was worried I was going to become not-fine and wanted to know how to stop DP worrying unnecessarily after having spoken to CMHT as I was referred from GP as I wanted to avoid becoming depressed and how to maintain my current good humour and general sparkling and effervescent nature. The lesson apparently being that being responsible and proactive with your mental health gets you accused of poor insight and told to take drugs on pain of hospital admission.

She's really fucking scared me. I will not go into hospital. So to avoid it I have to swallow pills that make me slow and stupid and sleepy even though I am totally happy with the way I am now and it's everyone else who doesn't like it. Maybe its everyone else who needs bloody medicating.

I hate this so much. I know its a bad idea to get involved in MH services. So why do I ever go back?

Does MDMA even work when you take lithium?

I would love to know where to get LSD.

God yes

they're both serotonergic

am usually pretty careful though

Fair enough

It's all gone a bit pharmacological - feeling like the confused degu here

My drug of choice is nicotine. I just can't seem to be able to give up the fags.

Doesn't it have some kind of MAOI activity?

FWIW I quit because DP wanted d to while taking phenelzine and lamotrigine and never experienc d a craving. They say you have to want to quit - not true. I was lucky.

Maybe I'm immune cause of all the nicotine I got in the womb

I guess I don't really want to quit or I'd have done it by now.

Enpo - your treatment sounds absolutely appalling, no wonder you don't want to go anywhere near a psych hospital again!

My godmother was treated for depression in the 1960s at Tooting Bec hospital. They were trialling electric shock treatment at the time, and some new drugs (I don't know which ones) - they completely fucked her up. She went from having depression to being someone who heard voices, thought mice were aliens from outer space, couldn't allow food to touch her lips because then it would poison her etc etc - it was dreadful. :(

Nicotine seems to dig its claws into some people much deeper than others. I've had some recently a few times in a joint and I just don't crave it at all - DP, meanwhile, would've gone back to 20 a day if he'd smoked even one joint.

your poor godmother

Terrible things have been done to people and it's all brushed under the carpet. A couple of years ago there were documentaries about the treatment of mentally ill and learning disabled mmbers of the royal family, the Kennedy clan, and people in general who were lobotomised. Just horrifying.

Mental I don't believe all that "you have to want to quit" addict-blaming bullshit. I believe you have trouble quitting thru no fault of your own. It's a tenacious bloody thing.

I think you can still have a leucotomy on the nhs (I think. In Dundee)

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/15582589/

MAOI compounds in tobacco smoke. Would explain why NRT fails for some.

Yer alright Minge, thanks anyway. I'm rather attached to my frontal lobes.

Very interesting Enpo, thanks for sharing.

So Mental maybe your drug of choice isn't strictly nicotine.

BTW, grandma, would you like another egg to suck? I'm very aware you probably know all this already

I'll have one of your finest eggs please

I'm sure subsequent generations will shudder at our widespread use of drugs with very sketchy evidence bases and terrible side effects, or the way useful psychotherapeutic interventions are developed then rolled out en masse in useless ways (the whole country has been CBT'd to death and still people are staying on antidepressants for far longer than they used to)

but on balance I'm happier to be me now than me in any previous era

So if you know all this already, Mental, do you believe this MAO action is just not relevant to your fag habit, or do you berate yourself for being addicted despite knowing there may be something far more complicated than nicotine addiction going on?

Agreed Mitch though my family history suggests people like me do better the later mental health services get involved and before I was given prozac I was just a bit low, not bonkers.

never been allowed Prozac

there are massive gaps in my psychotropic history! But I suspect I'm better off for it

I like to berate myself for being weak-willed but then I light up a cigarette and I feel better.

I'm another one not allowed antidepressants. The last time I took them, a long time ago, they triggered a serious psychotic mania and I ended up in hospital, yet again.

Oops, I was a bit confrontative there Mental; sorry

Inexplicably pissed off at the world this morning.