Still Autumn days in the village with lots of support for all kinds of MH problems - depression, anxiety, OCD, psychosis etc thread 2

[MySpideySenseTickles]

The thread filled up!
I made a new one hope no one minds.

Is this your gallbladder op Victrix? you'll feel so so much better afterwards. Will be thinking of you x have that particular t shirt, its effing painful.

It is lem, I got told the other day it was going to be November 17th but because the pain won't go and the attacks are getting more frequent they've decided just to do it while I'm in

Victrix - (((Hugs))) will be thinking of you as I am sure all the village will :)

Oo that's good Victrix Good luck!

Glad you had a better day Collar. And thanks for sharing that. It can feel so isolating/like you're the only one struggling with parenting when bad etc. It helps a lot to know other people struggle with it/guilt too. Glad you and your DS get on well now.

Glad you're better than you were Snowy. Haven't had a CPA in ages but they aren't pleasant (IMO anyway) and could never wait for them to be done

Thank you

Ahh it's today! I'm full of nervous excitement, which is a nice change from nervous nervousness

Good luck Victrix - The first thing i did post op?? Ate cake

Gutted. Just been told they won't do the op today after all but will stick to the original date of November 17th

Getting out today though.

I am starting to question my relationship with DP. Every single time i have an anxiety episode i can sense the anger coming from him. Maybe anger isn't the right word, but animosity. Even if he doesn't say anything (but sadly he often does "get over it" "you can't do anything without getting anxious" etc) the atmosphere is there. This week my anxiety has been so high because I was worried about my DD. She has a tooth growing out of the top of her gum (sort of out of the side). Being me, I assumed it was something sinister and because of my anxiety i asked DP to take her to the dentist as i didn't want her to pick up on it. I was sick with worry and could barely function. He just doesn't get it. I forgot to put my DD's karate gi in the tumble dryer and all i got was "you mean to tell me that you couldn't do that simple thing because of anxiety" err, yes, i could barely move. In the end I had to sit on the bath room floor while DD had a bath because the poor thing was bored and she was happy in the bath. It meant i could just sit and she was happy.

This happens every time there is a problem, now i am not saying I have not put him through hell with the anxiety and he isn't without his own issues (caused by me) but I am not sure we have a future if he can't be supportive. That sounds very selfish doesn't it? But by supportive i mean, by not getting cross and moody with me when my anxiety kicks in.

Does he think i choose this? Do i choose to not be able to work because my confidence is gone? Do i choose to be reliant on medication that really makes me a non person? I don't choose any of it.

I know its hard when your partner has MH issues but am starting to wonder if being on my own would be better. The only thing that is making me stay is my DD, she adores her daddy and that is one thing he is, a wonderful daddy and when things are running ok he is a wonderful and loving partner, but if thers a problem, if feels like he withdraws the love if that makes sense.

I feel very alone.

Sorry for the rant.

I noticed that fluffy posted a few pages back that you have gone home? was that a permanent move? i do hope so, but if not, it seem, i pray, that you are moving in the right direction.

Oh nooo! Victrix, thats rubbish :( If you are just post attack though your gall bladder and surrounding area may be inflammed and that can lead to complications that result in it not being keyhole surgery and that takes much longer to recover from. Might have to hold off on the cake for a bit, but you'll get there xxx

I just want these damn things out

Trying to drop crying before the nurse comes back

Oh no! How frustrating Victrix

And I'm really sorry to hear that lem

I had to end a relationship for the sake of my MH once. He just didn't get it. Nice bloke...unless I was ill. Then it just made me feel even worse when I needed support and understanding. Yes it's hard for them too but I found it better to be single than made to feel like I shouldn't be struggling as much as I was etc.

Anxiety is a bitch. It can be paralyzing. It's not just 'worrying'. I couldn't leave the house without feeling like someone had plucked my lungs from my chest at one point.

He sounds like he's being difficult. He probably just doesn't get it but it's not 'just' anxiety etc. It's an illness and it does get in the way of your ability to do things sometimes.

I was sent home to wait for a keyhole surgery for a month Victrix. I was so angry and sad at the same time. But at least it was sorted eventually. It's just handling that time inbetween, especially if you're in pain. I was given Oramorph for a few weeks which helped. Have you got sufficient pain relief for home?

lem That specific ex made me feel like a naughty school girl or something for not being able to control it etc. It feels horrible when it seems like they think you're choosing to feel that way. Who chooses to have a bad time??

Again, I think it boils down to people thinking because they don't struggle with it, others struggle because of their own flaws/weakness. When actually, we're all wired differently and shaped by different experiences that make it complicated and means we're all very different. What would be an easy day for some people would be living hell for another etc. Hope you feel better soon. Sorry for the rambling! Just know exactly what you mean and how horrid it feels to be viewed that way by the person you're with

((lem))

At least I can look for my snake I suppose. I've been worrying all night

I'm home and found my baby instantly

I am relieved the cat didn't find him first.

I'm glad he's safe vic.

I've finally got my referral to the cmht, I have a psychological assessment at the end of November.
Guess they didn't feel like rushing then!

That's great news vic

That's par for the course, spidey unfortunately, I had to wait 3 months to see a psychiatrist, I think that's part of the reason I was sectioned when I met the psychiatrist.

What sort of snake do you have victrix - we lost our corn snake when he was a baby, i fear the dog found him first :(

Oh no Lem

The one that went for a wander is a Carolina corn snake called Tesla. I also have a Royal Python called Fudge who is much more well behaved

DP has banned me from any more pets

Sorry you didn't get your op victrix but at least you found Tesla.

I'm glad to hear you got your appointment spidey but sorry you have to wait so long.

I'm sat here reeling at the moment. They've just closed our local psych unit to women and are only admitting men. Apparently its to help protect women who may be vulnerable, but the nearest unit now is over 30 miles away and I just can't see how denying women treatment near their families, friends and support networks is going to protect them. In some ways it actually makes them way more vulnerable than before to be away from them.

The current unit has a keycard lock system that had separate male and female areas including male and female lounges, so you didn't even have to spend any time with the men if you didn't want to. It was really like two separate wards.

I'm now terrified of being ill again. I can't stop thinking about my children. One of the only things that made it bearable for them with me being away was the fact that they could see me every day and I could easily get home leave as I lived 10 mins drive from the hospital. The key thing that kept me going in my darkest hour was having them nearby. Now what?

There's been no consultation about this, just a decision by the trust. Its appalling. How can they justify denying local access to services for women?

I've sent off a FOI request for details of how many female admissions there had been to the ward over the past few years and how many women were sent out of area. Some are being sent over 60 miles away now.

I'm upset and angry all balled into one.

Victrix - that's just so shit about your operation, but I'm glad you've found your snake. That's one worry off your mind, but massively frustrating on the other.

LEM, sorry to hear you're so anxious and that your OH isn't giving you the support you need. I sometimes wish I could give people one days experience of my depression and anxiety, so they could get the full hit of exactly how crippling it can be, so actually get some understanding of it.

((( all )))

I'm sat here with a massive bar of galaxy smooth chocolate & I absolutely don't feel guilty about working my way through it cos I feel so shitty & I'm in so much pain

lem it's good to see you but sorry to hear your feeling so bad and having a hard time from your DP

victrix so sorry your OP been delayed but glad to hear ur home & found ur snake although I'm absolutely terrified of them!

spidey glad you have at least got an appointment now. Waiting times are typically 3 months here too but I can understand your frustration.

keema that sounds very wrong of the trust not to consult the service users and make a decision like that. I would also wonder what the rationale was? Was is maybe that a lot of females made complaints about being in a co gender ward. I'm not sure where but I do remember reading somewhere that all Mental Health Trusts were heading in the direction of providing single sex wards. I may have got that wrong though.

orchard and snowy and MPhow
are you today?

collar hope work is still being good

Sorry haven't mentioned everyone and I'm sure I've forgotten so many but thinking of you all x

Sorely to hear you're feeling rubbish pulled. I'm sitting here with a family sized bar of fruit and nut despite having just had dinner. DP has gone to Stitch and Bitch so I've nobody here to judge me. Still feeling a bit low.

Keema I am incensed on your behalf! that is outrageous :( Is there anything that can be done? online petition? campaign, i would certainly support it, i am in the south east.