The title sounds so melodramatic, but I really can't think of anything.
My life is completely and utterly pointless. I am unemployed, with literally zero job prospects. I have no friends. I am not close to my family. No-one would miss me.
I have crippling anxiety that mostly manifests in agoraphobia and social anxiety. I can't go outside on my own. I can't use the phone. Speaking to people sets off panic attacks and such severe self loathing that I can't see through it. I have self harmed for so many years that my skin is permanently ruined.
I despise literally everything about myself. There is absolutely no point to me being alive. I am trying so hard to just get through each day and hope that things improve, but all I keep thinking is that there's nothing better for me. Things have gradually worsened over the last ten years, and I am so tired and sick of being me.
Things aren't going to get better. I know that. Is there a point to just living when life is barely tolerable? I know this is an unbelievable self-centred post, and I'm not actually expecting anyone to know what to say. This is the only place I can say how I feel without worrying about people judging me, or there being consequences.