Question(s) for PND sufferers

[FeelAshamed]

For those of you with PND,how/when did you know/realise you had PND and weren't just suffering from lack of sleep/rampant hormones etc etc.

Was there one event that made you suddenly realise or was it a slow realisation.
Did you realise yourself or did someone point it out for you.?

Sorry for all the questions. I had a bad reaction towards ds (10months) over something quite trivial this morning and have scared myself. I've been bad-tempered with him before and always put it down to tiredness once I'd calmed down and felt ok again. This time I just don't know.

I wonder how widespread and deep the misunderstanding about PND amongst health and social care professionals go. Actullay working in the MH field I have had to work in general placement as part of my exp and with social care and was amazed by the lack of understanding of mh issues.

I finally admitted it when ds2 was 10 months old. Mostly i was ok and coped, he is my third so much of it is routine. I finally realised that once every 10-14 days i would have a day where i was irritable, weepy and had such a short fuse. I scared myself more than once with the sheer amount of anger over trivial stuff, i took it out mostly on dh but if ds2 wouldn't sleep, or eat it would obsess me and all rationality went out the window. A course of cbt and mild anti-d's to iron out my sleep helped enormously. Sleep deprivation doesn't cause depression but it makes it so much worse and it makes life heavy and dim, so i would talk to hv or gp

When DS was born I hid from everyone how awful I felt - I wanted someone to just give me my old life back, even in hospital I thought he was the biggest mistake of my life. I lied on the questionnaires my HV gave me, but i felt terrible. I even drove my car to the cliffs but thought that then everyone would say I told you so she was a terrible mother. When I was 332 weeks pg with DD I was so scared I'd feel like that again I broke down and told my midwife - she was FAB. She got in touch with my HV and made sure I waas ok. She saw I was feeling down when DD was 10 dyas old. She discharged me but told me to make an appointment with GP - I didn't. Next thing I know GP turned up at my house and sat and listened. She prescribed AD's which she convinced me to take. She makes sure I come and see her every month (If I don't she'ss ring me and make me make an appointment) I still don't feel I've bonded with DS as well as I have with DD but I'm trying