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Original poster

Just been diagnosed with bipolar. Feel utterly grim about it all

183 replies

LeGavrOrf · 14/08/2013 18:23

Bipolar and elements of PTSD apparently.

Have been off work for 8 weeks and initially diagnosed by the GP as depressed, am on 225mg of venlafaxine which hasn't worked at all. Last week saw CPN and now have been given quietapine to take as well, 25mg.

I feel so low and have had suicidal thoughts mixed with feeling very down, and then other days where I am dashing about feeling as if I have had 20 double espressos.

I am just so down at having bipolar and worried about work and what this all means, I have also looked on the Internet and seen that 25mg of quietapine is a very small dose and should have a higher dose, I haven't been told to increase this at all. Plus I haven't seen a psychiatrist at all. Is it normal just to see a psychiatric nurse? I am seeing her again tomorrow, she is coming to my house as when I spoke to her yesterday I was so low and worried.

It's just a bloody horrible thing to come to terms with.

OP posts:
Original poster
LeGavrOrf · 15/08/2013 20:56

Look at me now putting xxx on my posts.

Lol at so there!

I may as well go the whole hog and call you all Hun xxxx

OP posts:
piratecat · 15/08/2013 20:58

can understand you must feel so shocked and sad about it. I hope you get to see the right doc soon.
It's very (understatement) to get a grip with it all and carry on. I am waiting to be diagnosed too, after a bit of a spiral.

xx

BOF · 15/08/2013 20:58

(((((((soft hugs))))))))

Grin
BIWI · 15/08/2013 21:00

Fuck off with the hunning.

Original poster
LeGavrOrf · 15/08/2013 21:00

But I want FIRM hugs Grin

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BIWI · 15/08/2013 21:00
Original poster
LeGavrOrf · 15/08/2013 21:00

Hahaha biwi

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piratecat · 15/08/2013 21:00

bless you. my spiral has also come about from seemingly having a mid life who am i crisis this yr, like you all i have done is be a single mum for 10 yrs.
I suddenly thought, what happens now, as she is about to start secondary, and it felt too much.

I am very sure you will get there. x

LRDYaDumayuShtoTiKrasiviy · 15/08/2013 21:01
Original poster
LeGavrOrf · 15/08/2013 21:02

I love that on mumsnet fuck off is said with kindness Grin

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Original poster
LeGavrOrf · 15/08/2013 21:03

Perhaps it is a mid life crisis.

I should buy a Porsche, a leather jacket and go and chat up whippersnappers in cocktail bars.

Actually that sounds fantastic. Grin

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LRDYaDumayuShtoTiKrasiviy · 15/08/2013 21:03

I will say, getorf, your DD is going to need you for a heck of a lot longer yet. I know that's not an answer to you feeling as if that's 'who you are' - but you've still got the bits to come where she gets soppy with you looking back, and tells you how lovely you were (honestly, she will ...), and when she has her own and needs you around to tell her it's going to be ok.

Original poster
LeGavrOrf · 15/08/2013 21:06

Thank you all again.

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lissieloo · 15/08/2013 21:09

Ooooh, you should def do that!! My friend's mum had a mid-life crisis. She bought an MG and picked her up from school in a red leather catsuit. She was fabulous!

MinnieBar · 15/08/2013 21:09

You could shop around a bit with therapists - you don't have to stick with the first one you try. It's really important to feel safe and secure, especially if you're going to go back over long-hidden (with good reason) and painful stuff.

I don't think we're on hugging terms (awkward or other), but I'm shoving a virtual box of balm-coated tissues in your general direction?

Original poster
LeGavrOrf · 15/08/2013 21:11

I used to have a red MG! It was a bitch to drive, clutch really sensitive and I stalled it all the time. Which was embarrassing at traffic lights when you are there looking like a twat with convertible hair all over the place.

And then the gasket blew on the M5 and I had to sit on the hard shoulder with a mini skirt on.

Lol at the balm coated tissues.

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BIWI · 15/08/2013 21:12

Maybe you should have a gap year? Reclaim a bit of your youth back?

lissieloo · 15/08/2013 21:13

BIWI, that's a great idea!

MinnieBar · 15/08/2013 21:21

Was it like that scene in Bridget Jones when she loses her scarf and her hair is like a bird's nest by the time they get to their mini-break?

Balm tissues = essential therapy tool. Fact.

Original poster
LeGavrOrf · 15/08/2013 21:21

That would be fantastic. Dd and i have said for years that we would love to go inter railing around Eastern Europe.

I am worried about my job, but they have been really supportive (after being arseholes for 6 months).

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Original poster
LeGavrOrf · 15/08/2013 21:23

Yes that is exactly what my hair was like Grin

If you saw a blonde woman in Bristol driving a red MG looking like someone from Bananarama after a hairspray explosion that was me.

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reelingintheyears · 15/08/2013 21:24

A gap year?

What would I give for just one of them.

Get an old fashioned red mini instead, much nicer. Grin

MinnieBar · 15/08/2013 21:29

Could you take some kind of unpaid sabbatical??

Bridget Jones is on ITV2 right now Grin

Original poster
LeGavrOrf · 15/08/2013 21:32

Someone at work took a 3 month sabbatical to go travelling around China last year, so there is a precedent. It's the thought of not being paid though for 3 months, I would have to save like mad and I am an extravagant twat.

It would be lovely to plan something like that though for next year before bloody dd joins the bloody ARMY.

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BOF · 15/08/2013 21:34

You could make a stealth trip to wherever she's posted...you know, like those crazy people who book into a b&b next to their Year 5's school trip Grin