roll up for the village fete! move to our village if your 'fete' is to be happy!

[ThatVikRinA22]

6th thread folks....

keep talking/posting.

Gosh, that sounds a bit patronising, it wasn't meant to be, what i mean is, i wish i could be more like you.

Ha! I doubt it LEM I am a complete disaster really! My mum is in the country now too, for the next 3 weeks. I won't be seeing her though next weekend she is seeing the children. So that's a bit tough.

Bad planning, CPN coming later and I have marks on my neck

i'm being referred to the crisis team

Are they coming out to assess you, snowy?

If your thoughts of s are in any way motivating, and not just s ideation, then hospital would be best imho. If it's ideation, you can try to explain that, still they may err on the safe side. We all want you to be safe and happy, snowy, above all at this moment we want you to be safe.

Hugs, strength, , warm thoughts x

and if you can manage any

Thanks silvery I said I didn't need seeing tonight, I really don't have a good relationship with the CT. Cake and tea is much appreciated, thanks. My CPN removed the ligature I was using, and suggested I put things away. I know there's a bad bed crisis going on at the moment.

I expect the CT will be pleased to be able to schedule you for tomorrow - it is very difficult to prioritise when things are constantly changing and urgency varies, particularly in the latter part of the day...

Are you OK for tonight? Do you want some hand-holding?

I'm okish, wishing I hadn't said anything, but I can't change that. I've taken some diazepam too, which should help (I wasn't sure it was bad enough for that. but CPN said to).

It's comforting to be able to post on MN, good distraction too, thanks.

The thing about mental ill health is that it is hard to judge your own condition. So it is important to get other people's opinions, based on their experience of being with you. Yes, they are often observing external things about us, and sometimes if they don't know us well, may mistake a different take on the world for a symptom! However, they are well placed to spot patterns which we ourselves may not.

Sadly it seems that the pressure on services is increasing, not to mention the s rate. Times are hard. Thank god for MN so we can support each other.

Yes, thank goodness for support!

I can totally relate to the bit about not being able to diagnose own condition/seriousness, I was convinced I had really fucked up on Tuesday just because I was awful but LEM helped me see that I actually just had a panic attack.

I am supposed to be going to this festival tomorrow with Liam and the kids, he is not really up for it by all accounts but it would be good for the kids.

Will have to see.

hi all sorry been a bit quite today been in a hellish place all day. just rang the out of hours crisis team & they referred me to A&E who want me come in & see a PLN (Psychiatrist Liaison Nurse]. I gotta decide whethere to do that or wait until the morning to call my mental health team instead. the reason I'm reluctant to go to A&E is the last time I went in with a crisis I waited 9 hours to see a PLN & I really haven't got the strength for doing that tonight.

snowy - I can completely understand all that u said about the CT (mine r no greater). I'll be around like silvery for hand holding as I need a distraction as much as everyone :)

I really dont fancy a night in A&E. I'm only thinking of public safety here

filee - festival sounds great. I wish I has the courage to go to events like that but my anxiety would kill me :(
panic attacks are horrible & really scary. how often do u get them?

It might be worth seeing the PLN if you can, DD32... People will be around here for support though.

Hugs, and for dumdum and snowy - you must keep yourselves safe.

Snowy are they wanting you to go in tonight? or are you waiting to see? Are you feeling any better now the diazepam has kicked in? I really want you to stay from a selfish point of view as i find your words so very comforting when im struggling. You deserve to feel better, i wish i had the answers to what would make you feel better, I can offer you a hand to hold and some distraction.

Dumdum - im sorry you are having such a bad day :( sod waiting 9 hours at A&E, but how do you feel about going in and weighing things up? Asking them how long you will have to wait? If they can't give you an answer - tell them you feel to ill to wait and go home? Will there be folk at home who can keep an eye on you until the morning?

I have had a bit of a fraught day today, DD has been playing up a bit, but i think she is over tired and grumpy, she probably needs to go back to school. I have done a fair bit of shouting today so not pleased with myself - am thinking i might take DD for "afternoon tea" somewhere tomorrow to make up for being a grumpy old bint, will see what she wants to do. I had an online run in with Jamie oliver today as well he did answer my question on the webchat so i was a bit at calling him a jumped up tosser on another thread One day i will think before i open my mouth/type. He did however make a suggesting for my tea tonight and i cooked it, was nice. I did manage to organise DDs school uniform and have mended one of her dresses (get me!) and sort out what she does and doesn't have. I just need to get some plimsoles and some shirts now. Can't believe she is going back to school next week - in one way i need the break but in another way i am going to be lost.

I meant, "i really want you to stay SAFE" of coures i want you to stay! but being safe is the most important thing! Snowy xx

The diazepam does help, thanks LEM. Handholding and distraction is good, once my carer has been I'll take the mirtazapine which knocks me out at the moment. Good luck DD32.

Sorry today's been fraught LEM, good luck with the start of school.

Take care all.

DD32 what would it be like if you hung on till the morning? Could you sleep? Presumably you could change your mind and go to A and E if necessary, where someone could keep an eye even if you had to wait? I think I can feel a late night coming on, featuring rice pudd among other things, so am likely to be around till after midnight or later.

thoughts very much with you at the min snowy and Dumdum....you are right in the thick of it. meds changes i think make things worse before they get better....stay safe and keep posting.

ed you sound so much better.....i think we walked this particular walk together at the same time - i think we were at the same stage when i posted my first post 6 threads ago....i too feel so much better. im so glad we had this board to talk to each other on and im so glad you are feeling better - i am too. most of the time i feel ok. still having horrendous disturbing dreams and both dd and dh say i am saying some seriously weird shit when im asleep - dh says i sound like im dying but i think thats the reflux! im waiting for the operation.....another huge hurdle and a life changing one i think but needs must....the gurgling has to stop! i scare him half to death.....the talking i have no idea about!

im back from a wonderful overnight spa break.....it was so needed! was wonderful and relaxing but went so fast....first one ive ever had and dd really enjoyed it too, we had the most relaxing time, pampering (facial, massage, pedicure and mud treatments - felt like a hippo! plus swimming, and lovely food, did nothing except read).... only problem is now i want to go back for more. DD needs to get a summer job....i can recommend the Titanic spa in huddersfield.....seen another in Helmsley that looks super luxurious but need a lottery win....
on the plus side my menagerie was most pleased to see me home. the dog missed me, the daft cat missed me (the other couldnt care less!) and the soft rat missed me....he hasnt left me alone since i came in.....he virtually ran to greet me, i lifted him out of his cage for a cuddle and boggled as i kissed him (its the equivalent of purring in cats.....he boggled while he was on my shoulder and i kissed his furry little face......my rat loves me! well, one of the 9 does....!) DH said they were clamouring to get out last night....but Dudley is THE most affectionate rodent ever.....he was my 'vicious' rescue boy found in a garden....(not vicious at all from the moment i got him home)
so i was missed! ive just had them all out for free range time, and read some more.
i should get to bed....taking dd shopping tomorrow for college supplies. Got some phone calls to make tomorrow - including the consultant for my stomach probs to see if he has referred me for the surgery.....

hugs to all who need them tonight. keep at it.....
x

vicar I found this rather nice page about ratty communication :) [brux] [goggle]

*[boggle]

dudley is a bruxer and a boggler.....he just loves to be with me, i took him for a run upstairs with the other 2 boys.
i laid on the bed and let them run riot - the other 2 boys like to make mincemeat of an old bathmat! dudley though chose to sit by my head on the pillow.....he kept popping up at hte bottom of the bed and running to me....then settled on the pillow.

he is so sweet. a proper mummys boy, and i love his smell, he is like a fave cuddly toy.....

i know i sound mad....

Sending hugs to snowy and dd32 x

Thanks for all the good wishes and hugs. The rats sound gorgeous as usual,and the spa sounds wonderful! How's it going DD32 ? I'm struggling to keep on top of everything.