roll up for the village fete! move to our village if your 'fete' is to be happy!

[ThatVikRinA22]

6th thread folks....

keep talking/posting.

hugs lem and vicar
walking through treacle and haven't started packing yet.
Have written a list..

Thanks to all for the waves, hugs, and welcomes, all much appreciated.
I posted on LEM's thread the other day over in AIBU "to tell you I have a mental illness" and found it quite helpful to put down what I feel has been going on with me for a long time - basically a background low level depression (dysthymia ?) which gets worse at times when things are more stressful. And behind that an attention deficit tendency which makes it hard to prioritise actions and get things done.
Found things especially difficult when both DC were little - so many demands from two very dependent little people - and 24/7 - I'm sure you'll understand dear reader !
Still finding the school holidays more difficult than the helpful routine of term time, even though it has it's lovely moments - had a lovely day on the beach in Norfolk at the weekend.
After posting on LEM's thread I managed to talk with DH about my feelings, and he seemed to understand a little, though he doesn't find it easy to be sympathetic to MH matters.
So, thanks especially to LEM, and to vicar for this thread too. I think I need to acknowledge this aspect of my life more, and hope that others will then do so too, and perhaps offer a little more support and understanding.
And be more mindful in thinking of strategies to keep my MH as good as it can be.
I think the summer holidays can be challenging in terms of having less social contact as well. Must try to catch up with some friends in RL as well, but thanks for being here too.

Oh and thinking of you with that packing Queen - and hoping the treacle isn't being too sticky ! Keep thinking about where you'll be going and how nice it will be when you get there ?

Hope the test goes as well as it can for you Vicar.
Thinking of you

Hi all, vicar will be thinking of you, hopefully it won't be as bad as you think!

Today I dry-necked my ad and ended up with it burning my throat while I tried to give someone a shower which was really, really hard!

I want to do something really nice for my husband tonight, he has really been amazing the last few weeks with the housework and stuff. I think a cold beer and special dinner for him tonight.

I have a meeting with the doctor on Monday but I need some more ad's before then.

it was absolutely fucking awful and i was sick as a dog with it. I am now struggling very much with the tube thats left in - its making me gag on every swallow and i dont think i can eat anything. my nose is stinging and i cant move or speak.
ill need a zopiclone to sleep tonight.

and i cant speak - every time i try i can feel the tube tugging away in my throat and it makes me heave.....
this is so not fun.
and ive left my bloody book there. And on the way there on the motorway a family of ducklings and mumma duck were trying to cross the road - on a busy motorway. The inevitable happened so i wanted to cry before i even got there.

roll on tomorrow. ive no idea how im going to get through the next 24 hours like this.

Oh Vicar, it sounds horrible, poor you

What did you have done ?
(I'm wondering if I'll end up having to have some sort of tube investigation of my stomach - but hoping some kind of tablets will do for the foreseeable future)
What's going on for you ?

Poor little ducklings too, that's very sad

Can you find another good book to read ?

Thinking of you Vicar I used to have a feeding tube through my nose, so I empathise, it's a horrible feeling!

Vicar, it sounds pants :( But it will be worth it, try to hold on to that you are anotehr step towards feeling better and that this time tomorrow it will be over?

I'm finding this week hard, DP was supposed to be having the week off, then it shortene to having to work yesterday and today, to now not having any time off at all :( I'm struggling to keep DD entertained and haven't seen anybody apart from my mum who is driving me nuts.

Sorry for not replying to anyone, feeling bad

hugs vicar sounds awful. Hope you've got some good tv/dvds/books you can distract with a bit.

juggling thanks for the thoughts. Treacle is deadly today and packing is proving to be a very steep uphill struggle. I think I'm about one third done, and knackered. I am taking your advice tho and packing a summer dress to wear sightseeing Paris on Thurs so hopefully look more parisienne than brit tourist

Thanks for sharing more about you. I saw some similarities too - looking back was depressed last year but mostly mildly. Also have 2 dcs so know what you mean about parenting and hols... ours are proving nice, but so exhausting. Are you on meds for your stomach too? I've been on omeprazole since last Sept - gastritis caused by anxiety...

lem hugs. Do you know/want to share what's brought you down? Take care.

If anyone's interested I'm reading this book on Mindfulness and I think it is helping a bit. At the very least to focus on the present. And to see thoughts as just that, thoughts, not real like events and they pass and you don't have to get too sucked in if that makes sense.

take care all. Off to find biscuits... x

Hi everyone - I'm trying to come off some pretty serious meds atm and thought I'd pop in for some moral support. It's going well so far. I'm being driven up the wall by on-holiday children but that's to be expected!

Thanks Queen, at least you've made a start with the packing which I always find the hardest bit of anything well, that and finishing

And you're feeling a bit inspired about strolling along the Sienne ?!
I'd love to go, especially to some art galleries with dd

• but haven't made it there with her just yet.

I do have some tabs for my dodgy stomach but have run out.
Need to make various medical appts for me and the DC but haven't got round to any of them yet - confuddled face

Well done with the meds Kay - and sympathies with the holiday DC !

Welcome KH What are you coming off?
Sorry you're having a rough wek LEM, sometimes a magic wand would be helpful.
Enjoy the trip, CIQ
I'm going to get my antidepressant changed tomorrow

I'm Bipolar and I'm coming off olanzapine. Got a bit cheesed off with the side effects and the professionals continually telling me they're just something I have to live with. It's been about 3 years now at 20mg and I'm a zombie with constant drowsiness, without going into all the other unpleasant effects. :)

arrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! i hate this. i rang the GI team at the hospital to ask what happens if i cant do it but they said it would need to repeated so i am gritting my teeth and trying my best to get on with it but its bloody hard.
also he said i have to continue to act as i normally would, doing normal activities and eat normally or the study wont show an accurate picture....so my planned soup has gone out of the window and i struggled with a bit of solid food but i am hugely struggling with this. The gi team have said if i go back earlier than planned tomorrow they will take the tube out. its stinging my nose still terribly and when i swallow it pulls and tugs. I can cope with most things but this is just horrible. im feeling very very sorry for myself right now.

ive tried to keep up with normal things and walked the dog and even nipped to the supermarket but i got stared at.....not bloody suprised.

Keep at it vicar - you can do it!

Sounds flippin miserable vicar Unmumsnetty hugs to you.

((( Vicar )))

i have never done anything so vile as this test - i am getting a little panic stricken - i hate the feel of this tube in my throat. i am going to try and relax and read a magazine (i dont normally buy them but have for tonight to try and occupy my mind since i left my book at the GI clinic [grr] am going to try and have a cup of tea.
ive had low level heart burn pain the whole time this thing has been in so i dont quite know when to push the pain button on the monitor....its the stinging nose and the gaggy feeling i cant cope with, every time i swallow the tube pulls so i feel the stinging in my nose and the tube in my throat. someone has to come up with a better test than this....its vile.

im being such a wuss.

Hugs vicar take it an hour at a time, you'cw already managed however many hours of the total.

What are they looking for vicar? You are doing brilliantly just tonight to get through and you have zopiclone (wonder drug) can you watch some shit tv then take two? What time is your appt?

the GI man took pity on me and instead of going back tomorrow afternoon i can go back in the morning at 10.

i am very grateful - this is the poor man i puked on (he blithely told me no one needs the top hat bowl - then i promptly chucked up about 4 times while he was trying to get the big tube in for the pressure test.... sorry for the TMI) he did say this is why you cant eat or drink for 4 hours befoe the test so i cant be the only one who upchucked....

i dont ever want to repeat this test. i had natural childbirth and coped better with that....

im whinging. i know i am but i cant whinge at anyone else because i cant bloody talk....

ive had it in since 3pm....so counting the hours until 10 in the morning. i have to go pick up DD at 10 from her boyfriends but then im taking a zopiclone to knock me out for the night (i hope)

i want to go and lay with the ratties but im scared they will bite through the tube and then id have to do it again....(never ever ever doing this again unless i am knocked out.....)

i hope to god the surgeon says yes to the surgery because this is totally and utterly pants.

lem ive had an oesophageal mamometry and ph test - well ive had the mamometry test (pressure test - involves whacking huge tube shoved up nose and down throat, then swallowing water, then eating bread....) and am now in the throes of the ph test (involves smaller tube shoved up nose and into stomach to record acid levels in stomach - stays in for 24 hours and is attached to a monitor that you push buttons on when you eat, drink, cough, have pain and lay down....) Its got to be done before the surgeon will see me with a view to having the fundoplication surgery that would stop acid refluxing into my throat and that causes my cough and chest infections....)

but i have to say this is exactly WHY ive left it for 16 years to get treated....up until a few years ago the meds (albeit copious amounts of them) stopped the worst of the symptoms. Ive had a camera down which showed a hernia, so that coupled with faulty valves in the throat is why i have such trouble.....

but no one warned me about this test....the consultant made it sound oh so easy....
shame it wasnt him i chucked up on!