roll up for the village fete! move to our village if your 'fete' is to be happy!

[ThatVikRinA22]

6th thread folks....

keep talking/posting.

Oo, Ed lovely nails, can you set up a stall and do mine? Tarty red, obviously

Hello all, sorted the council tax out, for the time being anyway.

Today I am feeling okay, bit tired so might go and have a 40min snooze, I realised that (pathetically) some of my depression is actually separation anxiety from my husband which is really pathetic I know. I dropped him off to work today and I just felt myself drop. How weird is that?

Anyway I got to sleep last night without sleeping tablets And the baby slept from 7pm til 6.15am

Which is a first!

Hello all. The black dog has shrunk a bit - let's say Alsatian sized rather than Great Dane. (Neverknowingly, it's what I call depressive periods. If it was good enough for Churchill it is good enough for me .) Don't really know what triggered it, although I suspect disturbed sleep as the DCs have been a bit unsettled and we've been up and down in the night to them a lot. I'm just dreadfully tired, buzzy headed, and SO irritable. I have phases of being snappy and snarly followed by sobbing about how crap I am as a mum/wife/human being. At the bottom of it all is real terror that my parenting will be contaminated by the black dog like my mum's was to me - she is/was a longterm depressive, as was her mother before her. (Seriously rubbish family history!) Gah. This too shall pass....

What do you all reckon about my seeing this counsellor that I know vaguely on a personal level? Good idea, or would I be better with a stranger?

I can contribute homemade blackcurrant vinegar to the produce stall (yes really - had kilos of the blasted things and there's only so much jam I can eat!)

snowy, how are you feeling today?

Post tbc...

Cont...

filee, glad the tax is sorted for now. Is it going to be a recurring problem, do you think? And yay for a sleeping baby! How old is he/she?

ed, could you switch to water for your drinks? And are you really thirsty or is it dry mouth caused by the meds?

Hugs to LEM, juggling, hoochy, CIQ, vicar and silvery. And thanks to all for the handholding.

I'm sorry I don't know anything about zopiclone, vicar - I hope someone else does. I hope the test goes ok...fingers crossed for you.
NKU, I hope there's someone who you can chat to, hugs.
I didn't know that some pharmacies do blood glucose levels, I hope you get some reassurance from one Ed.
That sounds like good sleeps all around, filee
I'm glad your black dog is smaller Fish, I hope it continues to shrink. Do you think your meds might need review?
I'm still not great, but CPN was off today.

PS looks like lloyds and asda do blood glucose checks.

Good night all.

I take zopiclone and it does really make me sleep!

Having an okay sort of day, been working really hard and other than a small respite tomorrow evening, I will be working solidly until the weekend which I have off! I am not being roped into working either, phone will be off in the mornings and I will ignore all calls from work.

So looking forward to that.

Struggling a bit with fatigue in the day, just really finding it hard to keep my eyes open which of course doesn't go well with having no free time even in the evenings. In fact in the evenings I seem to perk up a bit, I am wondering whether to take them in the evening instead? Perhaps then I will be perky in the day instead of the evening!

Hi never thanks -Yes hormones can have a big impact on my mh. Interestingly this month I had almost no pmt - wonder if more exercise recently may have helped.

Off to France - 3 nights near Paris then a week on the coast. Have been really looking forward to it for months - I think for me the anticipation of a holiday is just as good as the real thing! Don't like coming back from them to specially with autumn and winter following - and I'm never do good in the winter. Hey ho.

Glad to hear youre better than you were but know what you mean about telling friends.

filee great to hear about baby's sleep. Hope you get ca good night tonight too.

fish Hugs re your worries over depression and parenting. I share the same concern - depressive mother has not helped me. Am trying not to repeat the pattern but I think re my eldest dc I may have diluted it a bit but it's definitely there re anxiety. Which is hard, but dh and I are trying to give her some good habits too.

ed good to hear about nice day out. Def c recommend switching to water or at least 50%. Lots of soft drinks with sugar or sweetener can irritate the bladder and lead to more frequent trips to loo.
Also if meds affect yr blood sugar management then would make sense to take some sugar or of diet.

snowy Hugs, hope you get a decent nights sleep.

Hi hoochy how are you doing this week?

Waves to juggling, lem, vicar, silvery and anyone I've missed.

Hi to all.

Thanks. I will be heading to llyods or asda when I can.
My friend was definitely shocked by how much I was going to the loo today (compared to my normal).

Unfirtunately I really can't swallow water - it makes me gag. I drink more squash that pop though and dont have my squash too strong. I am drinking a pint at a time.

My mouth isn't dry. If anything I am salivating a lot, my skin is very dry though

Im not worried enough to see the dr though.

I am absolutely shattered today. Had a busy few days, late nights, lots of night wees and its all taking its toll.

Hugs to others fish as long as you care about your children you and they will come through it. At one point my 12yos were cooking 3 days a week. About the onky thing I was acheiving each day was to make sure my children had food, clean clothes and somewhere safe to sleep. You will come through this.

Enjoy the holiday ciq.

I've made a mistake and told astronomy mad dtd2 about the perseid meteor shower so it looks like I'm staying until 1am

.

oooo i forgot about the meteors......am off out now for a look. im trying to take my mind of tomorrows bluegh tests.....i have horrendous heart burn as have been off the meds now for a week.

ed a simple urine test and a blood test at the gp could tell you re the diabetes....why not just go and see eh?

ive been reading with the rats. Dudley is such a big babe....if i tap he comes running for a cuddle.

they really are such cuties.....i look over my book to see 3 little sets of pink ears and pink noses....a tap on the bed and dudders comes running. and i love their smell....i bury my nose in their fur

the girls came out for a run in the bathroom earlier - but 6 of them are very naughty! they drink my wine and sit on my book while im trying to read it....
the boys are laid back and lazy, easier to spend time with.

right. off to see if i can see a shooting star or two. Goodnight everyone. x

im just back to find my resolve.....i was looking back through fb messages and came across the one from my mother.....momentarily i was tempted to unblock her. Then i saw you have to wait 48 hours to reblock....ive no idea why i was tempted to unblock - curiosity i suppose more than anything.
i think i have regained sense now and didnt do it. i dont need further heartache or complications.

so im going to go and watch for meteors now. Just needed to write that down so tomorrow i can re read and shake myself....

oh and just another little feeling sorry for myself a bit moment....i went back to work today - it was tasked to work alone and it was a relief really - i got on with my jobs, i didnt stop for a break, so didnt really bump into anyone, but i think 2 colleagues have recently had get togethers.parties/bbqs - now i know i have been on leave but i got invited to neither. On the face of it i seem to get on with people though am close to no one and of course queen bee at work hates me however the feeling is mutual and there is no love lost....though i do think she is so vocal she may be turning others against me. (paranoid!! much!) I just gel with no one despite trying so hard for so long, and no ive stopped trying i feel better tbh, but there are constant digs. Today i was going to take a damaged car to be mended when my supervisor told me to leave it and take another as he had some tasks lined up for me. So i put the keys back and took the other car, to be greeted with Queen Bee shouting about whoever put the keys back....i instantly said it was me and that i was doing as asked my supervision - and that i would gladly swap my tasks for hers (mine were worse! by a long way!) but im getting these snidey digs all the sodding time now....
DH says i should just say whatever is on my mind and sod the consequences because my relationships cant actually get much worse.
its hard going. i get alone with everyone and the one place i long to fit in is the place i cant seem to fit in with anyone. i feel very alone. i keep myself to myself but its hard.

Vic - best wishes for tomorrow later today.

thanks WA im trying hard not to think about it....going to bed now as the last time i can eat tomorrow is 10am so i will get up and have good brekky.
really not looking forward to this set of tests and then im meant to be straight back to work on thursday for a court hearing....i will see how i am. ive not had a day off sick since going back in april - and nor do i want to take any time off but ive no idea what this test will leave me feeling like. DH is coming with me. i put off having any investigations due to knowing i would have tubes shoved down my throat.....it scares me. id rather have anything else....even childbirth looks preferable right now.....

Dearest Vicar, hope you are ok,and it went smoothly, see how you feel about work as your throat may be sore

Hope you have a lovely holiday Ciq.

Yes, Ed I went for a diabetes test a while ago as I was worried, it was fine, just go for it.

F&J hope you are feeling better. I have the same worries, and sometimes I have only been able to do the basics for my kids, but things have got better.

Well done Filee you have such a lot on your plate, it takes time to sort out the best time to take meds-I changed times a bit, and found it made a difference.

Lots of love to Lem, Lovely Snowy , Silvery and anyone else I've forgotten

I went for a job interview yesterday- was sick with fear- will hear on Thursday, its part time but 45 mins away

Today, it's pottering, and swimming. Trying hard to have a structure to the days, but tempting to just curl up and hibernate

Hope everyone has a lovely day today

vicar, good luck for today. I hope it isn't as bad as you're fearing. Your work situation does sound very draining and miserabling (new word I've invented). I guess the only thing you can do is ignore, ignore, ignore? I love the sound of your ratty cuddles. I'd like a fancy rat or two but unfortunately my cats would see them as a tasty smorgasbord. (They already catch brown rats out by the farmyard, huge ones sometimes.)

ed, I hope you managed to get some sleep! My colleague was out watching the meteors until 3.30am - she is now looking somewhat weary

hoochy, I'm not sure whether to say good luck on the job interview or not? I work part-time with a commute of between 45 and 60 minutes (to do 17 miles, gah), and as it's a really good quality job (well paid, excellent benefits, reasonably understanding boss) I'm willing to swallow the travelling annoyance. So I suppose it depends on whether the job itself makes you willing to do the travelling.

CIQ I am so about your holiday. Fingers crossed the weather stays OK.

snowy, I'm sorry you're not so good at the moment. Sending you a hug.

We were in bed by 1am. Saw a few.

I had a reasonable nights sleep. Pretty good apart from my bladder.

Dd3 woke me about 9am but omg I am so tired. I have been communicating with her in grunts for the last hour (I'm still in bed). I have only just opened my eyes.

Ed - you say you are drinking mostly pop and squash (that sounds like a dance!) it could be the sugar in those drinks that are making you thirstier

Just a quick hello - my black dog has me by the throat

I am sorry that things are hard for you LEM & Snowy,

It can and will improve. keep talking if you can. is there anything that can help? getting out for a walk? cuppa and a chat with friends?

Vic, how are things for you today? it does sound like you have alot on your plate at the moment good luck for tomorrow

I managed to sleep last night for the first time in a week.. it feels AMAZING 11-7
Apologies if I have missed anyone. Much love and support to all, lots to do today still haven't made the cake! am now at mission critical with it so HAVE to do it today.

morning.
ive scared myself. i phoned the GI dept at hospital and talked to one of the team who does the test.
i wanted to know if i had to have it done before i see a surgeon - short answer is 'yes'.
i am so scared. He mentioned something about feeling like i wont be able to breathe....while assuring me that i can.
oh blimey.
i got up in order to eat a breakfast at 10am - the last time i can eat before the test - but i couldnt stomach anything much and ended up with cereal and a cuppa.
now i have raging heartburn and a churny stomach. Am going to go and have a shower soon and try to get ready - cant shower until tomorrow when the tube comes back out.

i really hate anything like this. im worrying. i even dreamt about it last night.

Good luck vicar Are you able to have sedation for the test?

no apparently not. you need to be sat upright and fully alert.