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Original poster

Generalised Anxiety Disorder

108 replies

Stripedmum · 16/07/2013 11:16

I'm struggling. All day every day worry, worry, worry, worry. Or feeling weird and on edge.

Will this ever resolve? Please give me some hope.

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Purlesque · 16/07/2013 11:34

I know that feeling, it's awful. I've had it on and off for 6 years, I gets easier. You will have dips and moments of clarity and calm. I'm going through a mild dip after a spell of calm but then I'm very sleep deprived.
I took up knitting which has saved my sanity, I can focus on projects and I love it.
I'm also seeing a hypnotherapist which is helping.

Original poster
Stripedmum · 16/07/2013 11:53

Thank you Purlesque. I just get to the end of my tether with 'it'. It is ruining my life and I've got two beautiful children, an amazing DH, lovely house, lovely family. It's causing a deep depression.

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Purlesque · 16/07/2013 15:09

What have you tried? Have you seen GP? If you are willing to take meds some can help.
Sometimes I have felt desperate, you sound fed up too but it won't always be like this.
Have you suffered for long? Or is it a recent thing?
When it started for me it was a total shock and I didn't know how to handle it, now I understand more about what's happening, I know what I need to do.

Purlesque · 16/07/2013 15:11

I also have 2 dc, you could be run down, try to slow down a bit, hard I know!

Purlesque · 16/07/2013 15:12

Are you a SAHM?

Original poster
Stripedmum · 16/07/2013 18:54

Hi Purlesque. How kind of you to ask. Can I PM you?

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PeggyCarter · 16/07/2013 18:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Stripedmum · 16/07/2013 20:00

Now you'll both go mad at me here - but...I've not actually been diagnosed with GAD (and I know it's the nature of the anxiet beast to self diagnose with all kinds of weird and wonderful things). But I have had 'free floating' anxiety (no trigger) for two years since the birth of my DS. Rather helpfully we have now had a 'surprise' DD who is 13 weeks old. She is absolutely edible and gorgeous and so well behaved but it hasn't helped my anxiety, to say the very least.

I've not wanted ADs. I have nothing against them. In fact I think they are an excellent tool to have in the arsenal. However my anxiety is such that my greatest fear is losing a grip of myself and I think they'd do me harm than good as they to me are an 'unknown'.

I have today been (finally) referred to an actual psychiatrist. I've had lots of counselling (although it didn't help as it was more looking at my past). But today I had my first session of a new batch and she caught me at a very low ebb. Despairing and hopeless really. She has immediately referred me and I think I may get a 'label' as a result, which I think will help me as I'm convinced I'm going mad. I am concerned though as I've seen a postnatal psychiatric nurse before briefly and she was just very annoyed that I didn't want to take ADs.

How did both of your GAD start and how does it manifest? I function quite well (looking after two DCs and myself) but it rules me. I worry about going insane, being unfixable, dying, health, losing my grip on reality. It just goes around and around until I get depressed about it and see no way out. Does that sound like I'm beyond help?

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Original poster
Stripedmum · 16/07/2013 20:01

Yes SAHM now. Never used to be. Was really into my profession.

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Original poster
Stripedmum · 16/07/2013 20:04

GP of no help whatsoever. Sympathetic and lovely, that's all.

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perplexedpirate · 16/07/2013 20:18

I've been diagnosed with GAD among other things including OCD. I was prescribed 20mg of Citalapram which I took for 4 years and it saved my life. I tried CBT but didn't really get anywhere with it, however I've recently been able to halve my dose to 10 mg using exercise (C25K) and mediation (headspace app).
Yesterday I drove on the motorway, on my own and never gave it a second thought. Before my diagnosis I would have been literally sick with worry.
Good luck.

perplexedpirate · 16/07/2013 20:19

Sorry, meditation, not mediation. Hmm

Original poster
Stripedmum · 16/07/2013 20:24

Perplexed. Now I did start running. It was helping. Lots. However it all get a bit too much, I get down and then don't fancy it as think 'what's the point'. Does that make sense?

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peachypips · 16/07/2013 20:25

I have had this severely. I was hospitalised as I thought I was going to lose my mind with the anxiety and the horrific feeling of terror. It made me want to die tbh.
However, I am on 50mg of Sertraline and I am completely normal on it with no symptoms at all.
For me, as my anxiety was not based on anything specific, meds were the only thing that helped and I tried exercise, supplements, CBT etc.
so sorry you are suffering- I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy! It robs you of your life. Love to you x

Original poster
Stripedmum · 16/07/2013 20:27

Also those that've been 'diagnosed' with mental health issues...was that a GP? I've seen lots of lovely GPs at our village type surgery but all of them lump my problems into depression and anxiety. None would venture any further than that. Will the psychiatrist label me?

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Original poster
Stripedmum · 16/07/2013 20:30

Peachypips. It's a living hell isn't it! I feel I've been living in a nightmare. Yes if I wasn't so terrified of death I'd want to die. I'm sorry you've been through it too. How did yours start? X

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Original poster
Stripedmum · 16/07/2013 20:32

And when I have nothing to focus my worry on I'm terrified too - for NO reason. Weird, awful, makes me feel insane, perpetuates everything.

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allgoodindahood · 16/07/2013 20:32

So sorry to hear you're going thru this op. I know how you feel and its truly awful. My anxiety reached crisis point recently. Triggered. by depression following my mums death. 3 weeks ago I started taking citalopram and feel so much better. The fear used to be crippling, so much better now. Why do you dislike the idea of Meds?

peachypips · 16/07/2013 20:35

I was diagnosed by my psych. They like to give names to things but I wouldn't have known that I had been diagnosed if I hadn't accessed my notes for a talk I was doing for the NHS on mental health issues in pregnancy. It said GAD and major depressive disorder.
Mine started after I had DS1. It returned when I was preg with DS2, then improved after he was born. He is nearly 3 and I have had two smaller relapses when I reduced my meds.
If I stay on meds I am absolutely fine though. I respond well to ADs fortunately or I wouldn't be here!!

Original poster
Stripedmum · 16/07/2013 20:56

My counsellor today said she thinks there is a hormonal element. I think I agree as I've never had any problems until DS. It's funny (well not funny actually but you know what I mean) but my 'dips' seem to be triggered recently by my DD's growth spurts. You know what it's like though - you constantly search for reasons and most if the time there isn't one Sad

TBH I think for me a label could help.

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perplexedpirate · 16/07/2013 20:57

It makes perfect sense OP. fortunately I have running buddy who won't take no for an answer!
Could you buddy up? Or maybe join a running club? I found if I did these things while I was 'up' I stuck to them more when I was 'down'.
It was the GP who diagnosed me which was them confirmed and added to by the Mental Health Assessment team.

perplexedpirate · 16/07/2013 20:59

Ooh, re hormones, I can't take any at all. The pill made me almost psychotic and even the Mirena coil sent me skewiff.

Original poster
Stripedmum · 16/07/2013 21:15

Good idea perplexed. You know that big black scribble that is the logo for Mind? I feel that's my brain and that a good run can sometimes boost me out.

Do any of you 'forget' the okay/good times at your worst? This is one of my most unhelpful traits. DH tries to remind me it's not 'all bad' but when I'm in a total pit of despair (and I don't mean that flippantly) I just can't visualise that's 'it's' ever better.

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Original poster
Stripedmum · 16/07/2013 21:17

Perplexed - how much running do you do? How much do you think has a 'therapeutic' affect?

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perplexedpirate · 16/07/2013 22:18

I do either one or two 'days' of c25k, so either an hour or half an hour, three times a week. I've hurt my leg a bit, so this week I've done 2 5k+ walks and a 3.5k run.
It started to lift my mood within about a week, it was having a plan and a goal (did Race for Life on Sunday Smile) that helped almost as much as the physical activity I think.
Booking my next 5k for September, totally got the bug!