Generalised Anxiety Disorder

[Stripedmum]

I'm struggling. All day every day worry, worry, worry, worry. Or feeling weird and on edge.

Will this ever resolve? Please give me some hope.

[SinisterSal]

I second mindfulness.

Have you tried Moodgym? I haven't myself but I've seen it recommended a lt on here. It's an online self CBT thing, might be worth trying as it's quickly accessible to you.

I know that weird and strange place, thank god I'm at the stage where I am looking back. You will get there too. And then you will be enjoying life and your LO's again.

[Stripedmum]

Thank you Sistersal.

[SinisterSal]

this will pass

[Stripedmum]

[SophieLeGiraffe]

Hello stripedmum you invited me over here earlier in the week. Sorry to hear you're having such a tough time.

I can completely relate to the fear of everything and I was also initially against taking ADs. I got to a crisis point at Christmas when I told my husband I would rather die than face the thing I was scared of (teeth falling out) but that scared me more because I didn't want to die, it just felt that there might not be a choice.

My GP was amazing and we settled on the lowest dose of Citalapram as it is good for both anxiety and depression. Within two months I felt like myself - I was coping really well with work, family life and had even started not being afraid of parking the car! So the generalised anxiety was much improved. I think the effect for me seemed to wear off a little and I tried after 4 months or so to up the dose, then got scared and went back down to 10mg. I'm now back up to 20mg since five weeks ago and feel a little bit more level again on an every day level.

The thing that I still really struggle with is the specific fear, though I can eat a lot more and more variety these days. I've been having CBT for a month now and it's helping but it is really hard and very stressful at times. They're now looking to refer me for PTSD which I find very difficult.

The exercise theory is really interesting. Before this I used to run, shred and swim. But I stopped running and shredding because I was afraid the impact would make my teeth loose . I've sporadically ran since but can't seem to get myself back into a routine - I think like you say I sort of think, what's the point. But then I go and it feels amazing.

I'm so sorry to hear there are so many others who feel the same. I find the whole thing just so exhausting, it's such a daily battle.

[Stripedmum]

Thanks for sharing your story Sophie. It's so annoying that 'you' know how silly it all is but you still can't just forget it and move on. So very bizarre. You really have my sympathy. It's just weird. I hope we all get sorted out. I really do.

I'm going to give this exercise thing another shot. I was having a little kick in the garden with DS earlier and it did seem to slightly lift me. Just a bit. Maybe we should start an exercise and depression/running thread and see how we all get on?

[sydlexic]

I could have written your post, I have suffered with GAD for 20 years, worse after pregnancy and BF, worse when baby had a growth spurt. Recently started CBT.

I had a diagnosis of B12 deficiency a few weeks ago, I feel it is the missing piece of the jigsaw.

[Stripedmum]

That's really interesting sydlexic. I seem to really dip when DD feeds more. It's really odd.

How did you get your vitamin levels tested?

[purplejelly]

striped did they say how long the wait will be for CBT?

I'm sure my anxiety is partly hormonal. I've always been a bit prone to worrying but nothing like I am now I've got children. Everything gets blown out of all proportion nowadays and I can't sleep either!

[orangeandemons]

Much sympathy I have hellish anxiety, to the point of terror. It's awful.

I've had loads of counselling and cbt, but it was paroxetine that kicked it into touch for me. It has made me much more laid back, and completely shut up the endless chatter on my head.

I wonder if your fear of ads is one of the symptoms, and if so is quite normal

[Stripedmum]

It absolutely one of my fears. That's exactly right.

I'm seeing a psychiatrist early next week and so we'll see what they say.

I'm sorry you have it too oranges. It's awful.

[peachypips]

I was just thino

[peachypips]

I was just thinking about how to define serious anxiety. I think I have got it it.
It's like being afraid to be alive.

[Funnyfishface]

Peachy - exactly this

[peachypips]

[peachypips]

Just thought of a quiche for us. The GADabouts!

[MissBetseyTrotwood]

Hi all.

I do check in to the MH threads every so often as I'm a chronic anxiety sufferer. It started with Health Anxiety and leads to bouts of depression after the anxiety passes. Had a horrible incident the other day when me and my family were threatened by someone in the street and it's sent me down hill big time.

Since then, I've been crushed with worry. I woke up last night, just surrounded by this sense of dread and fear. Today I can't stop crying. Normally getting out with the dogs and DCs helps but it's so bad today I just don't want to leave the house at all.

Luckily, down to CBT I know I'm ill and it's not real which is good but just thought I'd come and say hello. Got a party to take the kids to later but I don't know how I'm going to get through without crying.

I'm terrified of taking ADs too, so the GP has not prescribed me any. I just feel really odd.

[Stripedmum]

it's the odd feeling that's the worst I reckon. It makes you feel so isolated as you can't quite explain 'it'. But I think we all must have our own 'odd'.

It will pass, it will pass, it will pass.

[MissBetseyTrotwood]

Thank you.

Just discovered DS1 feeding one of the dogs under the table at lunchtime. He's lovely but quite defiant at times and just didn't leave the table when I asked him to. I just quietly left the table and burst into tears in the lounge. He came in afterwards and was really sorry and I had to keep saying to him it wasn't his fault I was crying. Oh dear.

I need to read back through this thread.

I can hear DS2 (who is hearing impaired) making strange noises in the kitchen. Better go now.

[Stripedmum]

That is what it is! I'm really scared of being alive. That's the nail on the head.

[Stripedmum]

Purple not too long for CBT I don't think. Thank goodness. And mine is definitely hormonal...

[Stripedmum]

Bless you missbetsy

[MissBetseyTrotwood]

It gives so much relief to read through this thread and see that I'm not the only one. I could have written so many of these posts. Anxiety just makes you feel wonky all the time. My DH says it's like an addiction; you search for it even when it's not there.

A few of my RL friends know what's going on sometimes, in that they know I've been in therapy. Bumped into one today and she could see I was foggy and although she didn't mention anything, she stuck close while we were out. We're out at the same event tomorrow pm too so I might mention something then.

Feeling scared of being alive sums it up well. At rock bottom, I'd have preferred to be dead tbh, though I'd never end my own life. The toxic feeling in my head is unbearable sometimes, unclearable.

The exercise thing is interesting. When I'm walking the dogs sometimes there's a point in the walk where things sort of lift and I feel as though I could stay out there with them for ages!

Stripedmum, do you know how long the wait is on the CBT? My therapist recommended I read 'Overcoming Worry' and it was great.

[Stripedmum]

Oh my God Betsey! You are so right!!! That really is how I feel. And my DH hasn't said I'm addicted but that is absolutely the conclusion I've reached myself. When I feel normal I panic.

My little theory is that you have space for worry in your head and ours is just absolutely massive, brought on through highly stressful life events. But even when there's nothing there to worry about it needs filling somehow. So when I've literally got nothing to worry about I revert to default human worries, am I going mad, afraid of death, afraid of outside, etc etc.

I think we need to gradually reduce that 'centre' for worry but I don't think it's easily done. My explanation is quite crude but I think there's probably more worry neurons or something. These can be changed as the brain is quite meldable but when something has gone on for as long as it has for some of us, the potentially tougher the journey will be.

[wundawoman]

I can relate to all of these posts; we are not alone in our suffering!!!

I've had awful anxiety for about 3 years, to the point where i get physically ill!! it is not as severe as about a year ago but still present. I definitely agree with the hormone theory; my issues started with Perimenopause.

I'm currently using the Headspace App which is practicing mindfulness, it's very good. I also find yoga a big help too. I push myself through the anxiety to keep doing daily stuff and get on with life. But I still have this underlying feeling of fear, especially in the mornings for some reason, and it sucks!!

I try to take one day at a time and get through that.