OCD - semen on towels

[highgirl]

I am suffering OCD various horrible thoughts wil bother me through the day. Today it's the towel we use when having sex which will get semen on it. I have rinsed this towel and washed this towel three times on a coll 30 degree wash though as I know heat sets protein stains. Anyway should I still be worrying about it, it's out on my washing line just now and I keep thinking it has contaminated the other laundry? Any please advise what do you think it's been washed throughly so safe?

Any thing that it may transfer?

What is it going to transfer?

You have washed it. It is clean. Unless your DP has some nasty venereal disease there is nothing to transfer. Please relax!

That's what I want to know do you think it is fine with the other washing?

It will be thoroughly clean now. You don't need to worry, everything will have washed away.

Yes I think it's fine. When you hung out the washing all of it was clean and uncontaminated, so there is nothing there to transfer.

No, there's nothing to worry about at all. Nothing has been contaminated and to those not suffering from OCD one wash would have been fine.

Good on you for asking for perspective, please ignore the teasy posts above.

It will be fine with the other washing. It's clean so nothing to transfer.

x posts with four and spring. Didn't mean you two.

That's ok MrsLettuce. I knew what you meant!

Look, every week you post about period blood or semen and how worried you are. Please, for your own sake, go and talk to someone. You've been told numerous times that its perfectly safe, and that nothing will get transferred I. The washing machine, but still you post for reassurance.

It must be very hard to live with that level of anxiety, and you really need to see a professional about it. I'm not posting this to be nasty - I don't think it's doing you any goud to keep posting the same thing, over and over.

Thanks for the reassuring comments, it is hard to live like this and I am getting treatment but it is not a magic cure and takes time to work. Sorry if anyone is upset by this post but it's not something that can be controlled easily.

Please take care of yourself. My mum was like this and if she put clean bedding in the tumble dryer would monitor the street in case the dustmen came or post was put through the door, which would "contaminate" the washing if she didn't switch the dryer off immediately. We wonder if it was untreated PND which set this off. It must have been horrible for her and was a very strange upbringing for us.

Can you try to reframe your view of semen as a contaminant? Tell yourself firmly that seminal fluid/sperm is responsible for providing you with your children? That it is a good substance, not a bad one?

Of course if you are having a bad day with your kids, that may not be a positive ....

Sorry - my post was harsh. You've not upset me at all. I meant it all for your sake. I will happily tell you that it's safe, as often as you want me to. I just feel that it must be debilitating for you and your DH. I'm glad your getting treatment. Look after yourself, and sorry if I upset you. It genuinely wasn't my intention.

Hullo, I agree that this must be very difficult to live with, and it's good that you are seeking treatment.

Have you thought about using a condom to eliminate the need for a sec towel? Just one less thing to worry about, perhaps?

Hi Highgirl,

Seeking reassurance is an OCD behaviour, it keeps your OCD alive and kicking you over and over and over. No one will EVER be able to give you enough because you are trying to solve a feeling that you have misconceptualised as this problem about semen.

Theory A is telling you that the problem is that semen will transfer from your towels and contaminate something
Theory B is that you WORRY that semen will transfer from your towels and contaminate something

You are trying to "solve" the feeling of anxiety that arises by seeking reassurance about the contamination but you can't problem solve a feeling. Even if you could have the world's best experts on contamination assure you that you are doing everything right, the anxiety will remain because it is the anxiety that is the problem, not the semen.

OCD has you asking the wrong questions. This is not about semen on your towels but I think most of us with OCD kind of know that, but also get trapped in that way of thinking and the frustration is intense.

To everyone else here who maybe doesn't know about OCD (I don't know) seeking reassurance is a compulsion, it's not a choice. You can realise 100% that really your fear is a irrational on one level but the urge is just insanely intense. The hardest bit is knowing that you know it's irrational but just not being able to get out of the loop.

It's a bitch Highgirl. I've had really successful treatment this year and I am mainly symptom free but this weekend I had a major OCD recurrence and it shocked the hell out of me... be easy on yourself. What treatment are you having? Are you working on ERP at the moment and exposing yourself to fears? What kind of support have you got? xxx

(PS I remember doing Theory A/Theory B work in CBT and for a long time I just didn't get it because I couldn't see the difference between being worried about something and believing something to be the problem. It takes time, it is bloody awful... I'm really glad you are getting help xxx)

Wow that clip from scrubs is brilliant. I don't have OCD, that scene explained it really well.

You 'd be better boil washing imho. If you washed it alone it can't "contaminate" anything else . This must be your 4th or 5th similar thread in 2 weeks , please get help . Can you decide on a regime for "decontaminating" whether that is a hot/30o wash , individually for "soiled"items , using a pre-soak, Vanish etc and use that ritual each time. Onc eclean theya re fine until next time.

thanx it's hard its not moving this fear even though i am trying hard to resist it. My bff has texted to reassure me guess i need to chill a bit. Tom i go upto 150mg sertraline then if no good next week 200mg pray it helps me sn xx

thank you for thosr comments xx

Highgirl, 200mg is the therapeutic dose for OCD. If you are just starting meds it can often spike it hugely before it settles, then you will need exposure therapy and cbt or similar too.

The towels are not the issue so advising on a ritual is pointless, the ritual is the anxiety. The anxiety is the issue. To those seeming irritated by it, unless you'd tell members with depression to pull their socks up and snap out of their low moods, try to understand a bit here and be empathetic.