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So desperate

728 replies

GracieLoo · 03/05/2013 23:54

I wouldn't be posting this if I didn't care or wasn't scared but I am, and i don't know whats happening to me. I've started taking an od and I can't stop taking them, I don't care anymore, i'm tired of this, disappointing people and letting them down.

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soaccidentprone · 11/05/2013 19:33

GL

I've been having therapy, keeping a mood diary and had my ad's changed and am now in a much better place than I was a couple of months ago.

I thought about suicide all the time, as I had just had enough and didn't see a future for myself. But tbh I am scared of death and dying.

Exh committed suicide 12 years ago when ds1 was 5. The ripples of repercussions are still having an effect all these years later. Ds1 has had 2 lots of counselling with Cruise. Ds1 seems to be a bad place too atm. He doesn't answer his mobile or texts, doesn't come home at night sometimes. I sometimes think he blames me for leaving his dad and the resulting suicide. I don't blame myself at all. He was sectioned, and was very good at manipulating people into thinking he was ok, when he clearly wasn't.

You have the self awareness to know that your thinking and behaviour is skewed, and that you have the capacity to ask for help.

It will get better. I know it's difficult, and that sometimes what feels like the easiest option for you is just so final and will affect your dd in years to come. I am not trying to guilt trip you, but you need to find the resources within yourself to take a step back, to talk to your friends and family, to be honest with them. Let them help you. You deserve it, and your dd needs you.

The problem with depression is that it affects how you interpret other people's reactions, what they say, how they say it etc, putting a negative spin on everything.

You need to carry on communicating with the ct, with your cpn, and with the hospital. It isn't easy, but if you believe that this is just a phase, and that in a week, or 2 weeks, or a month you will feel differently, then that will give you the strength to carry on and not just give up.

I hope this helps, and just take it hour by hour, day by day. I actually found swimming really helps me, as I have to concentrate to swim the correct strokes which takes my mind off things, and also makes me tired enough to sleep. Brew

GracieLoo · 11/05/2013 21:13

I'm not doing well, even if people say I am, I know i'm not. I'm falling apart. Got it in my head i'm going to start making proper plans, get this sorted, make sure no one blames themselves. If i'm ill i'm allowed to not be here, if I could take the place of some poor person with cancer or some other illness, who doesn't want to die, I would, I really would. Sorry if that sounds disrespectful or selfish, I don't mean to be. I am in bits, dd needs stability.

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cjel · 11/05/2013 21:46

dd needs a healthy functioning mum and that wil lbe you in the future.I wish I could make you see how your future could be wonderful, have you discussed your suicide plans with anyone?

TheSilveryPussycat · 11/05/2013 21:48

DD needs stability, yes, in that She Needs Her Mother To Be There. Don't worry about feeling crap, that has nothing to do with it, your job for the time being is just to keep on keeping on, remember pick and mix meals are a treat...

Are you able to listen to nice gentle music or something?

cjel · 11/05/2013 21:51

i just had a thought that I'm only just starting to get to know you and don't feel like I'm ready to lose you from my life yet.xxx

GracieLoo · 11/05/2013 21:55

Omg I just broke down crying and I can't stop. I feel so ill, I'm so sorry. This is getting harder. I am trying to listen to your advice, it's just so hard.

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cjel · 11/05/2013 21:56

oh bless you what has made you cry?

GracieLoo · 11/05/2013 22:11

I don't know, everything! Feel so lost

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GracieLoo · 11/05/2013 22:19

It was the same man, I hung up. Getting so upset over stupid things, can't stand this.

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cjel · 11/05/2013 22:19

do you feel hopeless? can you feel safe or does everywhere feel unreal? I know that feeling, it is so scary nowhere on the planet felt as if it would be safe.You feel unable to catch a real thought. It really is a reaction to being absolutely exhausted. You feel as though you can't switch your mind off but you can't seem that it will be able to keep working any more. It will improve when you get the right medication and start to have more and more 'lucid' times in the day. I think the anxiety alliance I heard they had a phone helpline?

Ilikethebreeze · 11/05/2013 22:24

gracie
cjel, it may have been a word you used. I dont know if that is what has triggered her?

TheSilveryPussycat · 11/05/2013 22:24

Could you google for pink noise or sounds of the sea or something, and listen to that, has worked for me to slowing down my thoughts...

cjel · 11/05/2013 22:26

Ilike, Do you have anything in mind?

cjel · 11/05/2013 22:32

have I put my foot in it again?

GracieLoo · 11/05/2013 22:37

No you haven't. Don't want anyone to feel bad, it's all my doing. Actually thought ct might call back, don't know what I expected, I should go to bed but i'm scared of everythinh, mainly my thoughts and crying, and I don't want to wake up tomorrow.

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cjel · 11/05/2013 22:47

I was asking ilike as she said it may have been something I said.I am being confusing.
You are not making anyone feel bad. What you are going through is not catching and I am strong a stable enough to listen to whatever you say without it unbalancing or scaring me I promise.
Do you think that you could get some sleep, Have you tried what pussycat suggests? I had some favoutrite music I could fall asleep to - once I'd allow myself to! Can you cry yourself to sleep?
Try to think of now. tomorrow you may have had several hours sleep and may feel refreshed,
What time do you think you will be up? I get up at 7.30 so will check back in then if you want to chat?

Ilikethebreeze · 11/05/2013 22:55

Has your DD got a teddy or furry toy that you could put into bed with you.
Sounds silly I know, but it can be comforting.

cjel · 11/05/2013 22:58

I am having to go to bed gracie but hang on and try and get some rest.
goodnight, spk in the morning.xxxx

Ilikethebreeze · 11/05/2013 23:03

GracieLoo, it is ok. You have not upset cjel. She does not feel bad. She is fine.

cjel · 11/05/2013 23:10

Oh crap have I done it again. Iam fine , happy and content , I am not worried about anything . Gracie you have not upset me in any way. I can't think of any way that you could. I am not just saying this i mean it.Hope this reassures you? I function best if I go to bed at 11.!!

soaccidentprone · 11/05/2013 23:18

GL

You will not feel like this forever. You will begin to feel better/differently. Maybe not tomorrow, or the day after that, but at some point you won't feel like you are feeling now, and you will be really glad that you didn't give up.

My suicidal though was that if it got too bad I could slit my wrists with a Stanley knife. But I knew that it would hurt physically. And I couldn't bear to inflict that much pain on dh, ds1, ds2, my sister etc. so it was my short term emotional pain versus their rest of life pain at losing me.

Some people just have more emotional resilience than others. Hang on in there Gracie, try to sleep or google deep breathing techniques , that may help you relax.

I read that crying is good as it helps your body expel the chemicals which make you feel bad, which is why it is cathartic.

cjel · 12/05/2013 08:19

Morning gracie, Hope you got some sleep? How is this morning?

GracieLoo · 12/05/2013 08:33

Thanks for last night, don't know how I'd get through this without posting here. I slept ok, but feel so tired this morning I can hardly keep my eyes open. Been having vivid dreams, one when I threw a mug at dd's face, that upset me a bit. Sad Going to make myself have a shower, hoover and go get some food, they are my three tasks when I can actually get up off the sofa. Want dd to stay overnight somewhere tonight, but haven't asked anyone yet, then I plan to start writing notes. The first one will be to my old cpn, as I feel we didn't depart in a nice way, and it's playing on my mind.

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cjel · 12/05/2013 08:42

Try and recognise that you got through yesterday because you do have resources inside which you can always call on to support yourself. You know what is best for gracie and you took care of her yesterday very well. Glad you had some sleep, every little helps. three tasks sound like a good plan and writing is brilliant. I journal most days and find that I may start moaning and not able to cope and by the time I've written for half an hour or so have turned it round and I recognise loads of positive things I did.

GracieLoo · 12/05/2013 16:18

Got what I needed to do done, but my god it was hard, and it feels like the longest day ever. I'm so tired all the time, and the bad/dark side of me has arranged for dd to stay at her grandma's, she wants to anyway. And i'm just so tired, i've tried to keep positive and interact with dd, but now i'm exhausted and I can't do it anymore. Think i've done ok with the time i've spent with her this weekend, just feel guilty I have to rely on other people to have her because i'm so hopeless.

I kind of had in my head, tonight is the end of this pain, but I also know I should phone ct if I start getting impulsive or in a real state, so i'm confused, can't make sense of my head. I keep getting waves of fogginess when my head gets all heavy and I can't think straight.

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