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So desperate

728 replies

GracieLoo · 03/05/2013 23:54

I wouldn't be posting this if I didn't care or wasn't scared but I am, and i don't know whats happening to me. I've started taking an od and I can't stop taking them, I don't care anymore, i'm tired of this, disappointing people and letting them down.

OP posts:
GracieLoo · 04/06/2013 21:33

Ok, one example was today in the meeting with cpn, hv and sw. It was a looong meeting, so towards the end I started to open up a bit and ask questions, and talk about the recent od's and how I was feeling around that time. Cpn said it was important people knew so that I wasn't keeping secrets - fair enough. But I said family/friends knew a lot of what was going on, just not the private, bad thoughts/plans (obviously, most people don't go around shouting about it) but I had told my old cpn and then crisis team. I then said I had started telling people a bit more that particular week as I wanted to prepare them so that when I followed through with my plan, it wouldn't be a big shock to them.

She turned to the sw and said 'see?! this is how she is thinking, what she is saying!'. Then turned to me and said 'now that has made the risk factor higher now you've said that. What are you thinking now? This is the state of her mind, see...' and kept rambling on until I had to interupt as I could feel myself starting to panic, and said I didn't feel that bad now, I was trying to explain how bad I was. To be honest i'm feeling close to getting quite low again, and i'm scared but trying so hard to push those thoughts away. I'm scared of getting that bad and not being able to turn to the cpn, as she's who i'm supposed to tell, but I don't like the way she reacts. She panics me, and twists what I say.

Maybe i'm wrong in all this, and seeing things differently to others, and getting defensive. But I could sense the hv and sw weren't too comfortable sometimes with what she came out with. She kept interupting others too.

Sorry if that's rambly. Head feels a bit rambly tonight.

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Ilikethebreeze · 04/06/2013 21:41

That is not rambly at all. That is very clear indeed Sad

That must be overwhelming for you. I am so sorry.

She is too strong and over the top for you isnt she? Not what you need at all I would have thought.

Hoophopes · 04/06/2013 22:09

You can request a different Cpn, depends on resources if you can get one but worth an ask. Hard though when you had someone good to know whether the current one can settle with you because she started seeing you when you struggling so much. Cannot be easy to get to know each other at such a time. Can you tell her how you feel about her and how she is upsetting you. She may change? If you are honest with her then you can say you would like to change cpn's?

Did you get on ok with the social worker? Sounds like she did not overreact which is good thing.

I hope you can contact the CMHT team if you struggling. Do they use a duty worker system or a second named worker system if your one not available as that might be easier than talking to yours?

GracieLoo · 04/06/2013 22:41

I'd love to ask for a new one, but I think they'll say the same, I was struggling when we met so not a good start. Plus it hasn't been long, they'll say give it time. And I don't want to hurt her feelings! I could say to her she is coming across too harsh/opinionated, I don't really know the best way to describe her. But I do know I haven't felt like this with others, and I need someone I can be open with. I find myself withdrawing when I see her. Been told to speak to her supervisor if she's not in the office, but she's always been there when I've called unfortunately

Maybe I should just get on with it, go to the meetings and appts, not say much and see what happens. Easier said than done when your heads full of dark stuff and starting to fall apart again.

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Hoophopes · 04/06/2013 22:54

Why not tell her that you find her unproachable and can you both work on you feeling you can speak honestly to her? Shame she is always there otherwise you might find a different worker on the phone you click with!!!!

By saying nothing you maynlimitnthe help you get which would be a shame.

GracieLoo · 04/06/2013 23:50

Think i'm looking too much into this, but I can't sleep, I'm so tired, but this is the second night I've just been lying here and I just can't sleep. This is how it all started about month ago, was the sign that worried me as sleep isn't usually a problem. Plus appetite has gone, but been eating small meals, and felt dizzy and shaky earlier. Oh god I can't reach rock bottom again, I can't!

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TheSilveryPussycat · 05/06/2013 01:00

Having a late night, gracie, if you are around.

The CPN seems to be making a very basic mistake if she takes your account of how you felt recently as an account of how you feel now. (What are the improvements, btw? can you describe them?)

SnowyMouse · 05/06/2013 16:53

Can you ask for something to help you sleep? How are your meetings?

Hoophopes · 05/06/2013 20:11

Do you have a few sleeping tablets? Can you ask Cpn to get you two nights worth. That can make all the difference. I have learnt that dealing with the early warning signs, such as food and sleep can stop things deteriorating.

GracieLoo · 05/06/2013 21:38

I think i'll see how tonight goes and decide tomorrow if i need to say anything to anyone, although don't feel that inclined to call my cpn about anything, as I don't want to be made to feel wworse, or things taken out of proportion. Bit scared of her to be honest.

Found out this week that when I was at the day hospital, all the forms and arrangements were made for me to be admitted, and those at the cmht thought I had been. But I think it was my decision at the end of the day, although was slightly put off being an IP by the nurse. It makes me wonder how different things would have turned out if i'd got IP care. But probably best not to dwell on what didn't happen.

Feeling a bit dazed, bit slow in things i'm doing, then bit frantic the next. Got the need for everything to be in it's place. Bit worried ss are going to turn up unannounced too.

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Hoophopes · 06/06/2013 07:14

Hi if you had been IP your Cpn would still be the same. Your HV would be involved like she is now and you would be under SC the same. You would not have received any therapy in hospital and in all likelihood have been there for a few weeks with no access to dd. your ex or dm would know what they know now the same if not more.it is not a great place, just a place of safety with drugs doled out to you, regular checks that it are ok ( and by that I mean a health care assistant seeing in but not talking to you and ticking her sheet) and sharing a room with other women. A lack of freedom and awful food!!

How was your night? Can you ask for a few sleeping tablets if not getting a sleep you need? Can you plan your meals today to help you? Not sure about sunshine but hopefully it will be sunny and help you do nice activities outdoors that help you ( my plan for today anyway!!)

SnowyMouse · 06/06/2013 15:31

How is it going Gracie, get any more sleep?

GracieLoo · 06/06/2013 23:20

Still finding it hard to go to sleep, tired all day then get to bed and just lie there!

I guess all this would still be happening if I had been admitted, but if I'd been in that weekend I would have taken the bigger od. But I might have felt worse surrounded by ill patients.

Taking it hour by hour, and staying out of the house a lot, easier to do with dd, get more anxious on my own. The weeks are going by and it seems like a long time ago all this happened, just need to get out of this dark place a bit more. Scared of having normal thoughts again, don't know what that's like anymore! Bought some alcohol today which is not good, but not drunk any which is good.

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SnowyMouse · 07/06/2013 19:00

Hope today went ok. Do you have any weekend plans?

GracieLoo · 07/06/2013 22:45

Got a busy weekend planned, as it just so happens that a lot is on, plus have dd hence the plans. I feel more comfortable taking her places, then like to hide away when I'm on my own, as there's no point going anywhere myself as I just feel self-conscious, and don't get much enjoyment out of a lot right now. But if I take dd out, she enjoys it and that's the main thing.

Had a GP appt today, and talked about how I was finding it hard to talk to my new cpn, and I've not felt like that with other professionals. He's going to call the cmht and speak to someone about it. I feel a bit awkward now, I know she means well so I feel a bit bad now. Feel things are just plodding along at the moment, relieved to not be as suicidal as I was, but still anxious as I always seem to go back to that place at some point with no explanation or triggers. It makes me question if I can cope with the ups and downs, and how many more downs can I survive. As each time it seems to get harder.

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Hoophopes · 07/06/2013 23:05

Have they considered changing or adding to your medication to help you with the ups and downs? Sometimes a chemical imbalance needs readjusting for some people. Hope your plans work ok.

Sounds like you have a caring gp if they are going to contact CMHT for you. Hope it is helpful. Whilst no one can make someone be overly caring they can at least be made to behave professionally and appropriately which is what you need.

GracieLoo · 08/06/2013 12:57

I'm hoping I'll get a new cpn, but I doubt that will happen. Struggling today, don't want to do the things I've got planned. Not coping with dd's bad attitude, everything I try to do that's 'fun' for her, goes wrong and I don't know why I bother. I get embarrassed, left somewhere early just now as didn't want to speak to people and just wanted to get home. But got another social thing this afternoon and dreading it. Not feeling that great really, fed up of trying and failing.

They've increased my meds so will wait and see. Got appts with HV, then sw, then an assessment then cpn this week. Makes my head spin. And I don't want to tell them I'm not coping, feel so crap about it.

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Hoophopes · 08/06/2013 17:19

Hi. Young children are so hard, aren't they. So try not to take things so personally with your dd. the advice I got from the sw I saw was to mix with other mums and go to baby groups etc. I was like, huh, what help is that to me and why not more mental health support. But they explained to me that meeting other mums with kids the same age and talking helps to normalise things. So for eg my ds is being a nightmare with food right now and my usual brain would tell me xyz negative things about myself. But the mum I met up with today was saying some similar things so it helped me realise it is not me being a bad mum but how children are at this stage. Perhaps you can ask the sw if there are any groups you can go to for talking about children etc as know when children are school age etc harder to find things like that.

Sounds a busy week with appointments. Try to be as honest as possible to get what you need.

SnowyMouse · 09/06/2013 20:56

Just posting to say thinking of you for the busy, hopefully helpful coming week.

cjel · 09/06/2013 22:56

hello lovely gracie, so glad i've found you again. I've missed you. I'm so please you were able to be honest with gp, try not to worry about how cpn feels, its just her job, if she isn't helping you you deserve so much better.dcs can be hard work when they get their off days, it won't be personal to you. I hope you have had a good day today, can you find enjoyment in the good weather? hope you get good rest tonight.Flowersxxxxxx

GracieLoo · 10/06/2013 12:18

Thanks cjel that's really nice. Think hv is just coming, so tired again and feel on edge. Not good today

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SnowyMouse · 10/06/2013 12:41

Good luck with HV

cjel · 10/06/2013 15:12

hope you can be open with hv as you were with the dr.xx

GracieLoo · 10/06/2013 20:51

Feeling irritable and rubbish today. Had a full on day, with appts and stuff for dd. Saw HV and SW, but didn't have a good chat as dd was here, and it was about her anyway. SW just had a report to fill out, then halfway through said a copy will be sent to dd's dad, so now worried I may have said something I may regret him seeing. Had a text from him saying he has loads of questions about all this, which has made me think he's talked to people and they've worried him more or said bad stuff about me. Worried Sad

I mentioned briefly about what I had mentioned to gp about cpn, and I think both hv and sw think it's down to me not communicating or giving it time, so now I feel nothing will change. It sounds stupid and ungrateful but I actually feel I have no one to open up to and talk about my fears and feelings. I don't feel like seeing anyone this week, but cpn appt tomorrow. Not feeling too great and i'm thinking of ways out again.

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cjel · 10/06/2013 21:36

sorry y ou don't feel you had a good day my lovely. Try to remember you are looking after gracie and all these people cpn, sw, hv don't know wart is best for gracie only you do.Your gp understood what you meant enough to want to speak to cpn. DO NOT GIVE UP!!! You carry on saying what you want to them and if you don't fit with what they have learnt from a text book you can't change or help that, they will have to find a different bookSmile Just because a few 'professional' people havent been that supportive this week doesn't mean that they won't help in the future. you are making all the right baby steps to get well but it is really tiny tiny steps to health. dds dad may be a support to you and dd so try not to worry that he will think yo are bad, he will be on your side as you are his dds mum. hope you can have a peaceful nights rest, remember to love gracie and forgive her for not being perfectxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx